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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To the woman on the bus...

62 replies

Slitherout · 10/05/2018 16:10

I was on the bus earlier and there were only two older women on besides me (and obvs the driver) - one of my colleagues rang me, I felt I had to answer and talked for literally a couple of minutes then put my phone away again, I wasn't loud, wasn't swearing, there's no phone ban on the bus, I was sat far away from them, nothing I can see to object to. As we were getting off 5 mins later one of the women complained to the bus driver about me being on my phone and then, as I passed her on the street, told me in a very incensed manner how rude and ignorant I was. I didn't say anything to her, which was the best thing I could do at that moment but AIBU to think she was ridiculous to complain, twice at that?

If you were the woman on the bus - thanks. I'm having a hell of a week, I (and my colleagues) work with some incredibly vulnerable people and a whole shitstorm is happening with some of them (not that unusual tbh) and we're trying to prop them up the best we can. Without outing myself, one of them will probably not be alive this time next week and it's really getting to me at the moment but I'm managing to do my job professionally, hold myself together and look after my family so if you could just manage to not be so judgey that would be great.

I fully appreciate you haven't a clue what's going on for me and you may have just as much or more going on in your own life but maybe you wouldn't like it either if someone went out of their way to make life the tiniest bit more unpleasant for you. If you'd just asked me to stop the call or politely told me you thought I was rude I'd have apologised profusely and thought very little more about it. As it is, you're cross, I'm sobbing (was the straw that broke the camel's back tbh) so life is that smidge worse than it needed to be - well done.

Sorry, really needed to vent somewhere - anyone else?

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 10/05/2018 18:17

Comparing old and Black... is that not offensive to Black people? As in fat and Black as a comparison of offensive descriptions?

Basta · 10/05/2018 18:25

...iwith other human beungs os better than none at all. She l9oks fir thinfs...

I could be wrong. I am bound to offended someone reading this.

I'm offended by your abysmal typing. Grin

Ski40 · 10/05/2018 18:25

Sorry you are having a rough time OP. The world is full of ignorant people. You showed a lot of class by not responding to her behaviour. I hope your week gets better. 💖💖💖

willsa · 10/05/2018 18:28

Sex and age matters waaay more than skin colour when describing a "scene" of interaction with another human being.

Return to my example of penis flashing if you think it irrelevant.

AND MillicentF nobody did mention race, but you.

bastardkitty · 10/05/2018 18:29

This endless nitpicking at OPs is getting really fucking boring. Yep

I think you would have been entirely justified in telling her to fuck right off.

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 18:29

“Comparing old and Black... is that not offensive to Black people? As in fat and Black as a comparison of offensive descriptions?”

Sorry? So you’re saying old is an offensive description?

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 18:31

Age is relevant in the willie flashing incident because the fact that it is a child changes the story. How does the age of an adult change the story?

SouthWestmom · 10/05/2018 18:31

I don't know about the woman but you might need some support at work to manage work/life separation? I work in this field and I'd be concerned at a colleague being so emotionally fragile in these situations. Can you arrange supervision to talk it through in private?

willsa · 10/05/2018 18:48

MillicentF

Please, read books - it may help to understand better about nuances of human interactions.
I, for one, like to hear as detailed descriptions as possible as it may inform peoples' motivations and situation outcomes.
I get it that a person confronted by an elderly lady as opposed to a "towering" tattooed man in his 30's might offer a different response in each scenario. It's life. It's not that difficult to grasp. So feck off with your misplaced PC batshit.

I better let it go and hope this madness doesn't spread like a disease.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 10/05/2018 18:53

So feck off with your misplaced PC batshit.

^ agreed

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 18:54

“I, for one, like to hear as detailed descriptions as possible as it may inform peoples' motivations and situation outcomes.”

So how does the fact that the two women - the only people on the bus apart from the OP and the driver- were “older” help you understand the situation?

Porcupinepine · 10/05/2018 19:07

So feck off with your misplaced PC batshit.

Again, agreed

Op it's a bus, you can answer your phone and you don't have to justify why.

I regularly have to put up with the stench of folk who have no inclination to wash, which I find quite offensive. Yet I just deal with it because I'm on the bus and it's public transport. Hmm

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