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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To the woman on the bus...

62 replies

Slitherout · 10/05/2018 16:10

I was on the bus earlier and there were only two older women on besides me (and obvs the driver) - one of my colleagues rang me, I felt I had to answer and talked for literally a couple of minutes then put my phone away again, I wasn't loud, wasn't swearing, there's no phone ban on the bus, I was sat far away from them, nothing I can see to object to. As we were getting off 5 mins later one of the women complained to the bus driver about me being on my phone and then, as I passed her on the street, told me in a very incensed manner how rude and ignorant I was. I didn't say anything to her, which was the best thing I could do at that moment but AIBU to think she was ridiculous to complain, twice at that?

If you were the woman on the bus - thanks. I'm having a hell of a week, I (and my colleagues) work with some incredibly vulnerable people and a whole shitstorm is happening with some of them (not that unusual tbh) and we're trying to prop them up the best we can. Without outing myself, one of them will probably not be alive this time next week and it's really getting to me at the moment but I'm managing to do my job professionally, hold myself together and look after my family so if you could just manage to not be so judgey that would be great.

I fully appreciate you haven't a clue what's going on for me and you may have just as much or more going on in your own life but maybe you wouldn't like it either if someone went out of their way to make life the tiniest bit more unpleasant for you. If you'd just asked me to stop the call or politely told me you thought I was rude I'd have apologised profusely and thought very little more about it. As it is, you're cross, I'm sobbing (was the straw that broke the camel's back tbh) so life is that smidge worse than it needed to be - well done.

Sorry, really needed to vent somewhere - anyone else?

OP posts:
megafatCEObaby · 10/05/2018 17:32

People who have lengthy, loud conversations on buses really annoy me. But if you were as you said- brief and not mouthing off so that everyone and his dog knows your whole life story then I wouldn't have a problem.

Perhaps she was having a bad day too, but at least you were the better person OP. Some people just have axes to grind and undeserving people get the brunt. Flowers

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 17:33

And their age was relevant exactly why?

Likejellytots88 · 10/05/2018 17:33

And what the hell did she think you were being ignorant of? Hardly like you were mid way through a deep conversation with this woman!
or was she just annoyed you didn't have it on speaker so she could listen in to both sides of the conversation!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 10/05/2018 17:37

What's the difference between talking to somebody on the telephone and talking to the person next to you? Did the other passengers sit in silence for the entire journey? How strange.

blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:39

@mnhq how did my post break talk guidelines? I didn't think offending someone was against da roolz ?

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 10/05/2018 17:39

And the fact it was a bus is relevant how? Hmm

Seriously op, some people just go out their way to make life awkward, just ignore Flowers

passmetheloppers · 10/05/2018 17:41

Why is the age and sex of these passengers relevant?

It is descriptive and sets the scene. It's what people do when they are telling you something.

megafatCEObaby · 10/05/2018 17:42

This endless nitpicking at OPs is getting really fucking boring.

blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:44

Agreed. People clearly see themselves in the old woman from the OP and pick at every detail, and then report to the teachers at MNHQ

crumble2 · 10/05/2018 17:44

blaaake I wasn't offended, I thought it was unpleasant. And I didn't report it.

blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:45
Confused
rainbowruthie · 10/05/2018 17:47

Sending you kind thoughts Flowers

SoleBizzz · 10/05/2018 17:47

I Feel the angry Lady is lonely as hell. Has a bit of a screw loose now because of lonliness and any interaction iwith other human beungs os better than none at all. She l9oks fir thinfs to complain about as her mind is now so negative she needs to vent.

I could be wrong. I am bound to offended someone reading this. Oh dear lol

elderflowerandrose · 10/05/2018 17:47

Some people have nothing better to do than complain about everything, she deserves out pity.

I am glad you did not disappoint and upset yourself by being rude to her, rising above it and behaving with complete dignity means that remain a credit to yourself.
Hope things get better for you

Smeaton · 10/05/2018 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 17:49

It is descriptive and sets the scene. It's what people do when they are telling you something.“

Sinwhy do we need to know that they were “older”? Would it have just settingbthe scene if she had said “black” or “Asian”?

willsa · 10/05/2018 17:51

Today a person in a public space removed their underpants and exposed themselves to me. When I demanded the pants to be put back on, they announced that their pants are too small and it's all for fun.

It was my 3 year old male relative. But that's irrelevant. AIBU??

Quickerthanavicar · 10/05/2018 17:51

The OP is setting the scene for us. Chill peeps!

willsa · 10/05/2018 17:53

MillicentF

Have you ever read a book in your life?
Seriously, WTF is wrong with some people?!

ChikiTIKI · 10/05/2018 17:55

I don't think you did anything wrong, unless you were saying things which revealed confidential information about the people who use your company's services. I could see why that would upset anyone who overheard.

I assume you didn't do that though!

SoleBizzz · 10/05/2018 17:55

Millicent were you on a bus today?

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 17:56

So it would have been all right for the op to describe the women as black?

willsa · 10/05/2018 18:11

MillicentF So it would have been all right for the op to describe the women as black?

Yes! Why not? Is something wrong with having a skin of colour? Explain, please?
Again: have you ever read a book in your life? Or do you just burn them upon a mention of characters' sex, race, age, nationality, occupation, etc..

eggsandchips · 10/05/2018 18:13

What @clockworklime said.

People drive me insane.

MillicentF · 10/05/2018 18:16
Grin And you genuinely think that nobody would have objected if the OP had, for no reason at all, referred to these unpleasant people's colour or race just to "set the scene"? Pull the other one.