By way of background DH moved around quite a bit as a kid and has groups off friends in 3 locations we now live in a 4th location. I grew up in yet another location where my family is and a few friends, his family are now in another location where DH has never lived. Thing is everyone always assumes we will visit them, ie messages of when are you next coming up/ down? We say “you should come down to us loads - we could do xyandz. They always have an excuse.or come over once in a blue moon or on special occasions. My parents are in I’ll health and the only way the could visit is to have a lift (a 3.5 hour round journey for us) we’ve asked dB who lives in the same village as them to meet us with them about 20 min down the road from them to save us 40 min but apparently too much trouble. My mum turns to emotional blackmail if we don’t appear every other week. Each time we visit people we end up shelling out for petrol, hotels, food etc. Am I unreasonable to tell my mum it’s hard to get up more than once a month (we see Pil about this but they’re further away) and basically tel everyone we can’t keep travelling (I’m suffering badly from mental health issues at the mo)