Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate people calling older people cute?

57 replies

ILikeMyChickenFried · 09/05/2018 17:55

I really hate people calling pensioners cute. I think it's disrespectful.

I was reading something about the Queen today and the top comment was "As, isn't she cute!"

OP posts:
CaesarsMrs · 09/05/2018 17:57

Yeah I know an old man who in his time was a feared man. Martial arts champion, well known and a right reputation of someone you don't mess with. Now that he's in his 90s he's apparently "cute". It's so demeaning.

SabineUndine · 09/05/2018 17:57

I hate it of any adult. Rabbits are cute. Babies, if you must.

Original poster
ILikeMyChickenFried · 09/05/2018 17:58

Demeaning is the right word for it, yes. A lot of these people have been through more than we could ever imagine (WW2 etc). Makes me so cross!

OP posts:
Lilacwine1 · 09/05/2018 17:59

A touch demeaning. Cute is the sort of word I'd use to describe a baby animal.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/05/2018 18:01

Ooooh I wish I was cute, but at 41 overweight and not that pretty, I am anything but😂😂😂😂😂. I am 5ft2 and pocket sized so cute in that respect😂😂😂😂

Frustratedboarder · 09/05/2018 18:02

Man, I do this... I suppose it's my way of expressing the vague affection I feel towards the older and so now more vulnerable seeming generation that have lived through a bit! I think in my case it actually stems from respect more than anything?!

Why do you think it's disrespectful?!

Chickychoccyegg · 09/05/2018 18:02

I find it so annoying too e.g. awww my cute wee gran (ggggrrrrr wtf)

GrannyGrissle · 09/05/2018 18:04

But old dodders are very cute!

apostropheuse · 09/05/2018 18:06

Its demeaning and patronising. YANBU

Frustratedboarder · 09/05/2018 18:07

I really don't get the negativity?! Confused last time I checked it certainly wasn't an insult or derogatory...

I don't think the Queen is cute tho! Grin

SoyDora · 09/05/2018 18:09

It’s patronising.

Original poster
ILikeMyChickenFried · 09/05/2018 18:10

I can't really explain myself, it just feels insulting to me! I only use cute for baby animals or sometimes baby humans, it doesn't seem.right to clump the elderly in with them I suppose!

OP posts:
Mrsramsayscat · 09/05/2018 18:13

I agree. We are talking about adults, not children.

SoyDora · 09/05/2018 18:13

Entirely agree OP.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 18:17

Cute is a horrible word unless you're talking about small children or animals. It's belittling & patronising & the equivalent of a pat on the head or a tickle under the chin.

If someone called me cute I'd feel an instant need to show them exactly how uncute I am.

picklemepopcorn · 09/05/2018 18:17

It's demeaning because it reduces whole, complicated people with histories to a class of 'old dodders' or similar. It's a diminutive.

QuoadUltra · 09/05/2018 18:18

Completely agree. It is demeaning and ageist.

catinapoolofsunshine · 09/05/2018 18:19

I got called sweet by a woman in her late teens a few years ago (I'm in my 40s) Shock it was because of my voluble but grammatically incorrect use of her native language... Now I've been upgraded to "cool" because of my improved use of the language but remaining very strong English accent Blush

It is patronising, but there is some degree of affection and respect too, I like to think...

Anyway meh, I'm nowhere near being a pensioner, but I'm old and mildly unusual and vaguely interesting in passing to them, possibly like an amusing cat video... I don't actually mind at all!

Bluelady · 09/05/2018 18:34

At 64 I have no objection whatsoever to being called cute. It would be a bit of a stret, though.

Bluelady · 09/05/2018 18:35

Stretch, even.

bumblenbean · 09/05/2018 18:37

I see what you mean but I have been guilty of this. That said, I’d never say it to their face or in earshot- I might just comment (discreetly!) to a friend, on seeing a very elderly couple walking by holding hands, ‘ah isn’t that sweet?’. Don’t think there’s anything wrong with that

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 18:38

It's demeaning because you no longer consider them as full adults, but you go back to toddler vocabulary.

Would you describe that person at 20/30/40 ... as "cute"? If not, then it's rude to call them cute at 80.

It's patronising to consider someone is less of a person because they are older.

YANBU at all

Laiste · 09/05/2018 18:40

I don't think i know anyone who calls old people cute Confused

Some self confessed cute callers here though so i accept it's a thing.

Would i want to be called cute by a younger person when i'm old? ...

NO! I'm not 'cute' now and i don't want to be when i'm old. So much is removed from you as you really age. Control over your health goes, control over your lifestyle, ect. To be reduced to something 'cute' is a dreaded thing IMO.

dangermouseisace · 09/05/2018 18:50

Yes, I remember my sister calling my gran (unable to communicate with Alzheimers) something like that and acting like she was a baby.

I just felt it showed a complete lack of respect for my gran.

Dragonade · 09/05/2018 18:51

Simple. Don't read the comments in the Daily Fail

Swipe left for the next trending thread