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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate people calling older people cute?

57 replies

ILikeMyChickenFried · 09/05/2018 17:55

I really hate people calling pensioners cute. I think it's disrespectful.

I was reading something about the Queen today and the top comment was "As, isn't she cute!"

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 09/05/2018 18:57

It wouldn’t be so bad if they were cute, but they’re not. Old people are as variable and bloody annoying as anyone else.

Dwellerfromunderthesink · 09/05/2018 19:01

I’ve been called cute since I was a toddler. Am now 57. I was premature and tiny and stayed tiny. I imagine the cute comments are because I’m so short and look like a sort of hobbit. I don’t like it but am resigned to it. I’ve found it difficult to be taken seriously over the years which had been very frustrating.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 19:19

Yes. I'm short & have always looked younger than my age which is probably why I hate the word so much.

I do find that responding to "awww you're so cute" or "aren't you tiny" with "Awww, and aren't you (insert personal remark here)" tends to work.

UserV · 09/05/2018 19:22

I GENUINELY don't see anything wrong with it! Confused

Definition of cute..

CUTE

attractive in a pretty or endearing way.

synonyms: endearing, adorable, lovable, sweet, lovely, appealing, engaging, delightful, dear, darling, winning, winsome, charming, enchanting

WTF is so offensive about that?

Some people just reach for the stars to find offence in ANYthing! Hmm

ShinyMe · 09/05/2018 19:31

I think it's patronising in many cases. You see it whenever any poor old dears are on things like First Dates - Twitter is full of people going awwwwww how cute! as if old people doing perfectly normal things is actually something cute and adorably sweet. If you wouldn't call a 25 year old holding hands with his girlfriend cute, then why is a 75 year old doing the same thing cute?

Helmetbymidnight · 09/05/2018 19:38

I’ve not heard it but if I did I’d loathe it.

I’ve heard young people say ‘bless’ about elderly people and it made me rage.

SerenDippitty · 09/05/2018 19:39

It’s an American thing isn’t it, to call a good looking adult person cute? It always grates on me though, hearing some girl in an American programme describing a grown man as cute.

CocoPuffsInGodMode · 09/05/2018 19:39

I think it's very patronising. Likewise adorable. Somebody who does this a lot (though with all adults, not just older people) is Claudia Winkleman and it makes me want to throw things. Sooo fake and patronising.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 19:42

Sweet, cute, winsome, appealing... maybe it is a US thing but to me all those words imply patting the pretty little thing on her fluffy little head & not taking her seriously. They're not words to be used to someone you respect as an equal.

Shopkinsdoll · 09/05/2018 19:49

Hate it too. Hate when people call other people cute, if they are over 10

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 09/05/2018 19:52

I've never heard anyone over the age of ten described as cute Confused. Is it a thing?

Laiste · 09/05/2018 19:53

Cute to me = sweet, harmless and a bit vulnerable. A bit reliant on the good will of others to get by. A kitten. A teddy. A baby. A fluffy rabbit.

Dwellerfromunderthesink · 09/05/2018 20:10

Helmet yes ‘Bless’ is another one that makes me feel patronised and not equal to others. I’ve had assistants in shops say it and the last time was when I asked a woman in her 20s stood next to me if she would be able to get my case off the rack of the train. She was being kind I know but when I asked her, she seemed to clock the level of my shortness (4’10”) and said “Bless, of course”. It makes me feel a bit hopeless somehow.

Dwellerfromunderthesink · 09/05/2018 20:11

lamagreyhound in my experience it’s very much a thing.

DixieFlatline · 09/05/2018 20:16

I’ve only heard this from ignorant teenagers/people in their early twenties who couldn’t possibly imagine an elderly stranger is, in fact, a fellow human being with far more life experience and wisdom than them, as opposed to some kind of whimsical background decoration for other people to concern themselves with.

cosytoaster · 09/05/2018 20:19

Totally agree, it's very patronising and ageist

picklemepopcorn · 09/05/2018 20:35

It reduces someone to a stereotype of neediness.

HotSauceCommittee · 09/05/2018 20:38

I get called it by my 21 year old colleague. She says it affectionately, I’m nearly 46 and I like it. I have more of a problem with women being called “feisty” or “fierce”. You wouldn’t call a Rottweiler or a bloke that....

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/05/2018 20:55

Some of them can be adorable.

picklemepopcorn · 09/05/2018 21:01

I think if you are using it about someone you know, it's not so bad. It's the random reduction of older people to needy stereotypes. My mum, for example, is not cute no matter how much of an apple cheeked granny she may appear.

mistermagpie · 09/05/2018 22:25

YANBU, I hate it too, so patronising. There was an episode of First Dates on recently and a man in his 90s was on it, he seemed genuinely interesting (as most older people are, having lived through many decades) and spike eloquently about his experiences in the war. All my coworkers were saying how 'cute' he was, just because he was old really, and I just thought WTF?!

Laiste · 10/05/2018 09:12

picklemepopcorn - My mum, for example, is not cute no matter how much of an apple cheeked granny she may appear.

Crikey i can echo that! So many local people think (going by an occasional chat outside the post office ect) that she's such a sweet kind and vulnerable woman ... Hmm ... I'm saying no more.

tradervictoria · 10/05/2018 09:18

Another definition of 'cute' has the word meaning clever, shrewd or cunning, perhaps derived from 'acute'.

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/cute

claraschu · 10/05/2018 09:22

I remember being bemused as an American in my teens and 20s when friends would talk about "cute guys", as in "Do you know any cute guys?". In my opinion, there was never anything remotely cute about the boys/men they were discussing.
The word means something different in the US.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 10/05/2018 13:38

What does it mean in the US, clara? It certainly does sound an odd choice of phrase for a fanciable guy!