Drinks at a wedding

[snowy2000]

Hi everyone, two friends are getting married this summer. Both of them earn good money (at least £100k between them and no kids yet, own their own place etc.). Obviously very excited and looking forward to the wedding but AIBU to be annoyed that they are making everyone bring their own booze? The wedding is in a field in the middle of nowhere, no parking, guests will have to walk over one mile to the marquee, carrying heavy bottles. Is this normal? Understand that not everyone wants to blow loads of money on just one day but this seems stingey when most people will be traveling over 100 miles to attend the wedding, spending money on transport, accommodation, only to then have to supply their own refreshments! Also if anyone brings nice booze, it’s going to get shared out amongst the whole wedding so it makes no sense to buy anything a bit fancy. I know it shouldn’t get me down but I can’t help be irritated by the whole thing.

I’d take this bad boy filled with ice and bottles

The field is one thing, but one mile to get to it? Ridiculous.

Is the bride planning to treck a mile in the mud in a wedding gown, or will she be wearing outdoor trousers and wellies?
Is the wedding finishing late afternoon so everybody walks back before dark, or are they really going to lighten up a mile to help guests?

I am all for organising the wedding of your dream, mine was abroad and probably not the cheapest for guests, but you still try to make it as easy as possible for people who are there. Otherwise, just organise a jolly with a few friends.

I feel like I'm reading a different thread to everyone else....

The field and church are on a road. So if you don't want to walk, don't. You can drive to the field where the reception is.

Also, I'm a pretty big drinker at parties, but even I don't think it's that onerous to carry a couple of bottles of wine (or box of wine, partially frozen to keep chilled) for 15 minutes. As if it is, I refer you to my earlier point. Drive.

You don't want to share your drink, then don't. I can't imagine there will be drinks monitors confiscating your booze.

Or, if it's all to much, don't go.

Honestly I love MN but it's full of miserable bastards complaining about weddings. Too expensive / cheapskates / some variety of zilla / abroad / asking for money / poems, is it possible to actually get it right?

If they are insisting on you bringing booze then I'd drive and leave the car or get a cab along the road with a cooler bag. No way would I be lugging bottles through a feild.

field

I’d be doing a supermarket order direct to field, and including ice.
I hope you are going to come back and update us op, I want to know how the logistics work out .

Yes to an Ocado delivery. Plus ice.

"She won't fail uni" you cannot possibly know that. In addition these days there are minimum attendance and submission requirements because your daughter is taking a place that can EASILY be filled by a higher paying more dedicated international student.

You're in deep denial here.

You need to address properly why you have enabled her so much in order to avoid doing so for your other DC. I very much doubt you can afford to bail out 4 of them!

Are your other 3 DC missing out on things because of bailing your eldest out? Where was that £200 going this summer originally? Days out? A holiday?

Why should they be missing out?

You HAVE to acknowledge your responsibility in this. Until you do this very unhealthy dynamic will not change.

'"And then if you fancy a smoke you'll be stood out in the rain and gale."

You would have to do that anyway.'

Not necessarily. A lot of places have a covered area or the like. But a field won't.

@Graphista

Wrong thread I think...!

"inviting" people to a restaurant but expecting them to pay for their meal is cheeky beyond measure, it's funny.

It might be funny to you, however when people ask what you would like for a gift and you say nothing but a contribution to your food would be welcome, they don't have to go. Close friends and family only, about 14 people in all and they knew we couldn't pay for it all before we asked them, and planned it accordingly.

We did pay for the witnesses, photographer (friend) etc. as it wasn't a flashy do, just a meal out with friends and family who had been included in the ceremony, all of whom paid for their own meal on other get togethers, so no different other than someone taking photos.

Not everyone does things the same way, and as it happened it was a lovely day with people that mattered.

YANBU - that’s the tightest thing i’ve Ever heard. Of course they should be providing some alcohol! What tight wads. They could even make their own bar - that cheap when you can buy the booze from a supermarket or wholesaler and hire a couple of waiters to dish it out

"inviting" people to a restaurant but expecting them to pay for their meal is cheeky beyond measure

actually, it's just plain rude

Organising a meal in a restaurant with friends and family is one thing, they are free to decline. When it's your wedding, most people are kind and will try to make the effort, you put them under pressure.

It's funny, because it goes into the endless list of CF. If you can't afford to do something, then just don't. I am sure it was a lovely day for the bride and groom who didn't have to spend money!

I would absolutely NOT share my wine! Not because I am mean, but the quickest way to get me drunk and having a serious hangover is to drink a glass of one white, followed by a glass of something different, and so on. I can drink copious quantities of the same wine, but mixing it up is horrendous for me.
Are they expecting people to take soft drinks too?
Provided the weather is good, and the ground is dry, I think the walk sounds quite nice.

Oh ffs yes!

Should have been

Is this in the U.K.? Anyone else thinking a rainy day (or even a few hours) will make this a disaster? Anyone who isn't completely steady on their feet is buggered too! I couldn't attend that. Surely they have elderly/disabled guests?

Also as pp said what about toilets? I hate those Portaloo things would hate it even more with a nice (probably expensive) outfit, nowhere proper to fix hair/make up. What about babies in nappies? They're also horrific for menstruating women. Almost impossible for fat/heavily pregnant people to use. Ugh.

Byob is fine sharing with other guests is not. Their earnings are irrelevant.

But there appears to have been the bare minimum of thought given to the comfort of guests! Which is bloody rude!

Could be a licensing issue. A license is required for a pay bar and I don't believe it is for byob. They could of course supply themselves but that's actually quite an undertaking when they must consider 1. How much to get of everything without running out and 2. Having enough glassware and keeping it all clean.

They could apply for a temporary licence. I think they are only £21.

If you have a pay bar all the licensing is sorted out by them. The last one we were involved in wanted a fee or minimum spend - the minimum spend was easily reached by all the guests consuming reasonably priced alcohol! All glasses and ice etc were provided by the bar company win! Win! For all involved.

Oooo the half frozen box of wine sounds like a good idea. Less to carry.

This wedding could go either way dependent on the weather. There may be a local pub you could gonyo if it rains.

I like weddings unlike many a MNer, but I simply couldn't be arsed with this.