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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinks at a wedding

96 replies

snowy2000 · 09/05/2018 15:28

Hi everyone, two friends are getting married this summer. Both of them earn good money (at least £100k between them and no kids yet, own their own place etc.). Obviously very excited and looking forward to the wedding but AIBU to be annoyed that they are making everyone bring their own booze? The wedding is in a field in the middle of nowhere, no parking, guests will have to walk over one mile to the marquee, carrying heavy bottles. Is this normal? Understand that not everyone wants to blow loads of money on just one day but this seems stingey when most people will be traveling over 100 miles to attend the wedding, spending money on transport, accommodation, only to then have to supply their own refreshments! Also if anyone brings nice booze, it’s going to get shared out amongst the whole wedding so it makes no sense to buy anything a bit fancy. I know it shouldn’t get me down but I can’t help be irritated by the whole thing.

OP posts:
CuntinuousMingeprovement · 09/05/2018 16:24

Fark no, this all sounds ridiculous. I'd never expect to have all my drinks paid for at a wedding, but they should just make like normal people and do a cash bar. So people can order and drink what they want. That's the sensible decision on a budget.

Original poster
snowy2000 · 09/05/2018 16:25

@ToadofSadness, I don't expect someone to pay for me to get pissed, am more than happy to pay for that myself. But given that I'll already be spending close to £200 on travel and accommodation i slightly resent being asked to spend more money on booze and then having to carry it myself! If a wedding runs for 12 hours effectively (from church to last dance) then that could be quite a lot of booze, and as others have questioned, i have no idea if they are providing mixers / water etc.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:25

Have you asked what their arrangement for a loo are? That would also put me off unless the wedding is casual dress or you can change. Managing a port-a-loo when you're in a dress and tights and/or nice shoes and pissed is my idea of hell.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:27

Seriously, snowy, I wouldn't go. I've been to very casual weddings but they were all local.

Original poster
snowy2000 · 09/05/2018 16:31

there will be loos there, they have confirmed that much, thank god

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 09/05/2018 16:34

Pop some sarnies in your cool box as well.
It all sounds like a huge faff to me. I hate faffing.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:34

It sounds like too much faff to spend £200 on and travel for.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:35

What if it rains or blows a gale? The ground's going to be sodden and it's going to be shit. And then if you fancy a smoke you'll be stood out in the rain and gale. Nah.

WowserBowser · 09/05/2018 16:36

I like the sound of that diddl

rodstewartsmerkin · 09/05/2018 16:36

The wedding sounds like one huge pain in the arse

LagunaBubbles · 09/05/2018 16:36

Im in total agreement with Expat - dont go. There wont be enough toilets I bet!

coldhardbitch · 09/05/2018 16:40

My friend done this, I was pregnant at the time so didn't drink. We just brought 2 cool boxes and some friends brought big washing basket tub with handles and filled with bottles.

The journey was a squeeze in a taxi with the stuff carrying drink.

Bring a box of wine, not too big and you can share?

wizzywig · 09/05/2018 16:40

And flies around the food. Yum!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 16:40

How rude. If you invite people for diner, or for a wedding, you provide food and drink. If you can't afford it, then you invite less, it's not that difficult. What's the saying? Champagne taste, beer budget? or tap water in this case.

"inviting" people to a restaurant but expecting them to pay for their meal is cheeky beyond measure, it's funny.

I hope guests wear outdoor clothes to fit the theme!

I have been to a couple of home-made BYO pot-luck weddings, they were absolutely lovely, but it's a totally different atmosphere than CF telling you to carry your bottle.

AdriannaP · 09/05/2018 16:40

YANBU

I think if you get married you should get people drinks.
Hate going to weddings and having to pay for drinks. Invite less people if you can't afford drinks
(btw this is a very British thing - have never been to a wedding in Europe where I had to pay for drinks)

coldhardbitch · 09/05/2018 16:41

Ps my friend had a small room with some prosecco and homemade beers for guests.

Mumblechum0 · 09/05/2018 16:43

Seems a bit daft. DS is getting married in a field in Aug. We're paying for fizz after ceremony, wine / beer with lunch and more fizz for toasting, then have a pay bar set up for the evening.

Apart from anything else, if everyone has to bring wine/beer etc it's going to be warm and horrible.

burnoutbabe · 09/05/2018 16:43

so once you have drunk your 1 bottle of warm wine, you go home? seems fun!

Mumblechum0 · 09/05/2018 16:44

I'm sure they'll have those big trailer loos and some sort of marquee or tipi surely?

IggyAce · 09/05/2018 16:46

We covered a tipi wedding and the couple arranged a pop up pay bar. I believe it was a small amount to hire and it came with a minimum spend limit. But it was much easier for guests than what ops friends have planned.

LoniceraJaponica · 09/05/2018 16:46

"And then if you fancy a smoke you'll be stood out in the rain and gale."

You would have to do that anyway.

crunchymint · 09/05/2018 16:49

If I was them, I would have provided alcohol and maybe said there will be enough alcohol there for everyone to have half a bottle of wine each. If you want other alcohol, or more, please bring your own. I would also have organised lifts for those who can not walk a mile. I would be happy to, but my DM for example because of arthritis, could not manage a mile.

RidingWindhorses · 09/05/2018 16:52

It's absolutely fine not to provide spirits - but to provide no drinks at all is shit. It shouldn't be you bulk ordering from Ocado it should be them!

As for the mile walk - that will majorly limit the amount of alcohol anyone can lug with them. And what if it rains?

Are these people thick?

NewPapaGuinea · 09/05/2018 16:57

I went to a wedding in a field and it was brilliant! Pitched up tents on night before. However, you could drive onto site and it was local. It was BYOB, but cos we had tents you could keep them separate. We had our own beer table. I would provide alcohol personally (and did so at our Wedding). You can get 70 pint kegs quite reasonably and fits in the field theme well. Bottles of Prosecco from Aldi (were less than a fiver a bottle) and cases of red, white, rose from Majestic. Obviously it depends on head count, but we had circa 70 people, spent about £400 on alcohol and had LOADS left!! Only a handful were big drinkerd apparently.

thecatsthecats · 09/05/2018 17:06

Have to go against the grain and say I love the sound of this!

Weddings are so boring and samey. A mile walk is nothing, and I have plenty of 'elderly' relatives who would look with scorn at anyone who said so - and it seems easy enough to drive if you're not up to it. Wearing flats is my default mode anyway, and with trying to lose weight, it's nice to have an event with built in exercise!

Drinks - a couple of bottles of wine would be so much cheaper than pop up bars. And I get to pick it (I've had plenty of sod awful wine chosen and paid for by the bride and groom). My sister had people just toast with whatever they were drinking and no one died.

I'm not having a go at people who think differently, just thinking I would really quite like the idea!

(saying that, my wedding and reception are taking place in the same venue, and we're providing a free bar)