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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to find this a bit creepy? (social media related)

77 replies

changeroorooroo · 09/05/2018 10:34

NC for this because...well, I'm paranoid and probably being U!

This is quite a small AIBU but it's something I'm wondering about...

I recently worked out how to use the 'story' function on Instagram - bit late to the party admittedly!

I hardly ever post them but I also recently figured out if you click on your own story you can see who has watched it. I noticed my ex (I can't call him' exdp' due to the extreme shittiness of the things he's done!) had viewed my story. We broke up 2 and a 1/2 years ago and he lives with his new gf. We don't talk.

Not that weird but I didn't even realise he was on IG, let alone followed me so out of idle curiosity I clicked on his page. He has about 40 followers, follows 0 people and has never posted anything or had a profile pic.

I only realised this morning that if he doesn't follow me he must have actually gone looking for my profile rather than just scrolling through, and since they dissappear after 24 hours and he's viewed at least three of them, could that actually mean he's searching me every day?? I've only just become aware of this feature so hopefully I'm wrong!

I feel a bit weirded out, especially since he has massive form for creepy internet behaviour (amoung many other things, he used to save his ex-flings and some of my friends facebook holiday snaps (in bikinis) for his 'personal enjoyment' BOAK).

If this turns into him looking at every story I put up, I'm bloody tempted to just put some text in my stories saying 'I can see what you're doing you know!'. Since he doesn't post on IG I'm pretty sure he doesn't realise I know he's looking. Of course I won't actually do that because that does come with the downside of making me look a total nutcase.

Fully prepared to be told I'm being U and childish!!

OP posts:

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 09/05/2018 10:36

I don't think YABU, that would creep me out too. Rather than putting a message on your stories though I would just block him! You don't need that anxiety in your life!

Fabellini · 09/05/2018 10:36

You can block him if you want.

Frosty66612 · 09/05/2018 10:36

Yes if he’s not following you then it means he’s actively searched for you on the days he views your stories. Weird behaviour!

itallhappensforareason · 09/05/2018 10:39

I would find it a bit creepy.

This is why I have my profile set to private so only people who follow me can see what I put up.

Assburgers · 09/05/2018 10:45

Just block him. That way he’ll know that you know, and won’t be able to see your stories.

Original poster

changeroorooroo · 09/05/2018 10:45

Rather than putting a message on your stories though I would just block him!

I'm not actually going to post anything, I was just imagining his expression of dawning comprehension when he realised he'd been rumbled.

OP posts:

adaline · 09/05/2018 10:49

Put your profile on private.

I think most people have a nosy on social media and look up random people from their past, be they ex's or old friends. I do, which is why all my social media profiles are locked down as much as possible

AjasLipstick · 09/05/2018 11:00

Meh. I've looked at ex's social media pages before. I'm not a stalker...just sometimes bored and curious.

Rudgie47 · 09/05/2018 11:02

Lots of people do this but its something hardly anyone would admit to.

adaline · 09/05/2018 11:07

Lots of people do this but its something hardly anyone would admit to.

Yep, I agree. Although I don't really see what's so embarrassing about it. Surely curiosity about people from your past is normal?

AjasLipstick · 09/05/2018 11:13

I admit it! So do my friends...we often do a bit of facebook snooping. For eg. our friend's DH left her and immediately took up with another woman.

We looked this woman up on social media...just to see what she was like. Curiosity.

We'd never message her or anything.

RexManning · 09/05/2018 11:16

Given the context of his slightly creepy behaviour, yes, that's probably a bit off.

However, if you are posting things publicly to the internet you can't really complain when someone views them. Block him or review your privacy settings.

Original poster

changeroorooroo · 09/05/2018 12:02

I totally get that people facebook snoop - I do myself. The thing that weirded me out was the fact he doesn't follow me but he looked at them all anyway. Either that's a whacking great coincidence or he's searching my name daily

OP posts:

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/05/2018 12:03

It's social media. If you don't want him watching your stuff then block him, but if it's in the public domain, chances are he'll find a way around it.

JingsMahBucket · 09/05/2018 12:14

I would take a screen shot of the screen that says he's watched the stories for evidence later. And then block him. Don't bother contacting him, just screen shot and block.

DiegoMadonna · 09/05/2018 12:15

This is one of the many reasons why people should put their profiles on private.

Kittykat93 · 09/05/2018 12:18

Why don't you block him? Seems a bit creepy yes.

GrandTheftWalrus · 09/05/2018 12:19

How do you see who has viewed your stories?

Auntyirene · 09/05/2018 12:19

Instagram is part of Facebook. It's entirely possible that Instagram recommended you as someone he knows and he just clicked on you out of idle curiosity rather than actively searching and stalking you.

You can set your account to private and/or block him if you don't want him watching your stories etc

StickThatInYourPipe · 09/05/2018 12:20

I might be wrong but I think on IG if you watch one thing on someones page, even if you don't follow and you don't have any followers it just uses previous history to give you recommendations

adaline · 09/05/2018 12:22

If you don't want him searching you on there, make your profile private so he can't see anything you post.

Social media is designed so people can find, and connect with, other people after all.

DiegoMadonna · 09/05/2018 12:22

It's entirely possible that Instagram recommended you as someone he knows and he just clicked on you out of idle curiosity

And then went back the next day. And then the next, too. All without following her profile.

Definitely being nosey at best. But as many people have said, most people on social media are nosey!

If it makes you uncomfortable, block him or put your profile on private!

Trinity66 · 09/05/2018 12:26

I don't use Instagram but with snap chat and messenger and whats app, it's always popping up people I might know etc he's probably nosy rather than stalker-y, just block him

DiegoMadonna · 09/05/2018 12:29

If someone watches your story, then comes back the next day and watches the next one, then comes back the next day again to watch the next one, that's clearly a little more than "oh she popped up on my 'people you may know'" section.

Original poster

changeroorooroo · 09/05/2018 12:29

I might be wrong but I think on IG if you watch one thing on someones page, even if you don't follow and you don't have any followers it just uses previous history to give you recommendations

Oooooooh that makes sense! I really hope that's it. I don't give a stuff if he's looking at my content, the thing that scared me was the idea of him visiting my page every day. That'd be mad!

OP posts:

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