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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my cat away because he pees all over the house?

139 replies

Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:13

I have a 1.5 year old Tom cat, adopted at four months. He is neutered and well loved.

The problem is, he pisses everywhere. I have asked for advice from my vet numerous times and yes, he has been checked multiple times for UTI’s and even diabetes, all came back fine. All the vet says is it’s behavioural and she advised a few products to buy such as Feliway, catnip and spraying the urine off stuff all over, all of which I have done (and spent a fortune on...)

I have had to change an entire rooms flooring, throw numerous things away including some of my DC’s toys and clothes and have spent a fortune on cleaning products because of it. I am also four months pregnant and dreading the cat potentially peeing on the baby’s things too.

He is a house cat and always has been so I considered maybe he wanted to go outside and have tried putting him out a few times but all he does is cower and meow at the doorstep to come back in.

I am furious because today I found he had peed all over my new living room curtains Angry. I love him but I just can’t deal with this anymore. Does anyone have any advice or do I just need to admit defeat and give him away to a shelter?

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 09/05/2018 09:17

Oh bless him. Can you go outside with him to make him feel safe?

I can see why you're at your wits end but it was the bit about him being frightened which made me feel for him!

Crispbutty · 09/05/2018 09:18

Watching with interest as our cat (8yo rescue we have had 3 months) is doing similar and DP saying we can’t keep her unless this stops.

ImAGoofyGoober · 09/05/2018 09:18

It does sound behavioural but I’m no expert. Do you think he feels secure and relaxed in his home?
How many litter trays does he have access too? Have you thought about getting a cat flap so he can come and go as he pleases? He may be nervous at first but even just going in the garden can excite a cat once they get used to it.

It’s a shame to give him up as it’ll probably make his problem worse, but I can understand why you are frustrated.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 09/05/2018 09:19

Well who's going to adopt him?

If you want to try the going outside thing, you can't just lob him out. I've just advto go through this with my cat, who had never been outside in her life (adopted at 3) but was driving us all nuts meowing at us constantly. I thought she was bored and it was time to go outside.

I sat with her the whole time, she was terrified at first. She gradually got bolder. It took a session every day for a month and she's just at the point where she'll pop out alone for ten min if I leave the door open.

It takes work. Pissing everywhere is horrible, though, how many litter trays does he have access to? My cat needs 3 in different places or there are dirty protests Confused

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:19

I forgot to say I have a big hooded litter tray and have tried a couple of different ones and also having two different ones in the house. Have changed litter a few times over the past year to see if it’s that he had a discrepancy with too. He does pee in the litter tray but loves to do it around the house too for some reason...

OP posts:
Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:21

Oh and yes DP has sat with him outside a few times. He would sit on the doorstep and let him roam around the garden but he cowers and jumps at every little noise. A cat flap may be an idea though.

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 09/05/2018 09:22

How many litter trays do you have and where are they? Are they somewhere private and well away from his food? Have you tried different types of litter and tried altering the amount you put in the tray (my cats won't use their trays if there's more than a very shallow layer of litter on the bottom)?

catinapoolofsunshine · 09/05/2018 09:22

I can see why that's impossible to live with, but I think you're kidding yourself about "giving him away" - nobody will want a house cat that pees everywhere! If it really can't be cured and he can't adjust to being outdoors either then he isn't give away-able, he's going to end up being put down or permanently in a shelter (which is probably worse).

InspirationUnavailable · 09/05/2018 09:23

Have you tried a different type of litter? Again no expert but I caught 5 minutes of an animal programme on the bbc featuring this problem and the vet recommended that alongside more toys to stimulate the cat. I think they had a ball that dispensed food and some other bits. It might be that he’s bored/understimulated or just as simple as he doesn’t like the feel of the litter.

WhatComesAfterS · 09/05/2018 09:23

We had this and it was because our boy was being terrorised by the neighbour's cat. We used a felliway which seemed to chill him out a bit, you could try that as it's usually a sign of anxiety when the wee indoors

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:24

He has a big hooded one in a private corner in the kitchen away from his food and also a smaller one upstairs, that was something the vet advised. I clear the dirty parts every day and fully change the litter twice a week.

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FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:24

We had to rehome our cat for this reason. We tried everything, including a frigging CAT TRAINER! I never even knew they existed! Anyway he would piss all over the house as soon as he was allowed out of the kitchen/front room (also in there, but about 50% less than elsewhere). He hated going outside too, didn’t like using his litter box (sometimes he did, but it was rare and we had a few but he liked none of them). Unfortunately we had to rehome him.

I genuinely feel for you, it’s SO stressful. We had to refloor and replace most of the furniture becuse of it. Eventually had to give in because the cleaner said she couldn’t do it anymore (and yes we had a cleaner... especially for the cat!) she said the smell wasn’t coming out properly anymore and also my youngest son smelt like cat pee one day so it had clearly became unmanageable and we had to get rid. BEST THING we ever did! I’m a bit of a clean-freak and it was driving me insane, plus having to live in separate parts of the house because of a cat just to keep the kids away from it. Nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE. I certainly don’t look back on that part of our lives with any fondness.

I’d Rehome asap and enjoy a lovely clean, nice smelling home!

Els1e · 09/05/2018 09:24

I think behavioural too if there are no medical reasons. For some reason, he is not comfortable and confident using the litter tray. If you can afford a cat behaviourist to come to your house, then worth trying. Otherwise yes, sign over to a responsible rehoming organisation like Cats Protection.

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:26

@catinapoolofsunshine ours was rehomed no problem,via cat protection. They also noted his problem down so the new owners knew etc. Some people can deal with issues, some can’t. 3 years we tried and I eventually called it a day

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:26

And yes have tried a few different litters over the past year including wood chips. He has plenty of toys. There is a lovely shelter near where I live that never put healthy cats to sleep and always rehome them to lovely places or keep them if not. It is obviously a last resort but I don’t know what else to do.

Feliway didn’t work.

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Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:29

I would say he doesn’t feel comfortable using his tray but he does pee and poo in it, he just also likes doing it on carpets, clothes and soft furnishings sometimes too Sad.

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HarrietKettleWasHere · 09/05/2018 09:32

I'm not sure that any shelter would deem a cat that pisses all over the house a good choice for rehoming, sadly Sad

They really 'keep them'? What, for potentially the next 15 years?

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:32

Don’t feel bad @Mousefunky . If it’s anywhere near as bad as mine was then it caused serious anxiety and stress, it’s not worth your mental health no matter how much you’ve bonded with that cat. Don’t be like me and wait years thinking it will solve itself - it didn’t. You and your cat aren’t meant to be so give him the chance to be elsewhere and give yourself the chance to not be on edge due to cat pee everywhere. Mine also used the tray.... sometimes. Really doesn’t matter.

Most people won’t understand how truly stressful this situation is, but I really do and I say you should get rid for your own sake. And I love animals! But your mental health and sanity comes first

Theresahairbrushinthefridge · 09/05/2018 09:34

I lived with a beloved cat who did this for 12 years. We tried EVERYTHING. All the above ideas. Spent a fortune. It was so stressful.

In the end my 6 month old crawled through a pool of wee and we were moving house.

We knew she would never cope. I found her caked in excrement as an 8 week old kitten. I adored her. But we had her PTS. It was heartbreaking but the right thing to do. She had had a wonderful much loved safe life. I wasn't going to let her go somewhere else and be afraid. We just couldn't cope any more.

My parents who have had dozens of cats over the years are having this problem for the first time with a rescue cat they have had for 6 years. It's breaking them. They are considering making the same choice.

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:34

@HarrietKettleWasHere mine was rehomed after about a week, and apparently they needed a few days to get them checked etc. I made sure because he was obviously still loved, we just couldn’t cope

FASH84 · 09/05/2018 09:34

Get a harness and take him outside everyday, you'll need time and patience but he'll get there, and once he can come and go freely off harness this should stop because he'll see the house as his safe space and the territorial stuff will happen outside. Also make sure he has a safe space that's high eg a climbing tower type thing and plenty of toys that are mentally stimulating

HarrietKettleWasHere · 09/05/2018 09:35

Frantically and the new people truly knew about the peeing?!

Was the cat a very desirable breed?

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:39

The shelter is basically a lovely woman who has extended her house to rehome cats across the city. I have met her a couple of times and she is wonderful. She has hand-reared many kittens and has a few cats she has kept long term due to disabilities such as blindness so I trust she would do what was best for him.

I do genuinely adore him but I don’t adore him ruining my home. I’m also a clean freak so it is driving me berserk. I just feel like I can constantly smell cat pee wherever I go.

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Emma198 · 09/05/2018 09:39

Is he doing full wees or spraying?

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:42

He once peed on DP’s paperwork for work so he had to redo it all. He also once peed on my backpack for work with students essays in, luckily it didn’t seep through but my back reeked and had to be replaced.

He has peed on expensive things before like the MacBook charger too so it’s not just a case of him peeing on cheap things that are easily replaced. We have honestly spent hundreds if not thousands over the past year on this Sad.

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