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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give my cat away because he pees all over the house?

139 replies

Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:13

I have a 1.5 year old Tom cat, adopted at four months. He is neutered and well loved.

The problem is, he pisses everywhere. I have asked for advice from my vet numerous times and yes, he has been checked multiple times for UTI’s and even diabetes, all came back fine. All the vet says is it’s behavioural and she advised a few products to buy such as Feliway, catnip and spraying the urine off stuff all over, all of which I have done (and spent a fortune on...)

I have had to change an entire rooms flooring, throw numerous things away including some of my DC’s toys and clothes and have spent a fortune on cleaning products because of it. I am also four months pregnant and dreading the cat potentially peeing on the baby’s things too.

He is a house cat and always has been so I considered maybe he wanted to go outside and have tried putting him out a few times but all he does is cower and meow at the doorstep to come back in.

I am furious because today I found he had peed all over my new living room curtains Angry. I love him but I just can’t deal with this anymore. Does anyone have any advice or do I just need to admit defeat and give him away to a shelter?

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:43

@HarrietKettleWasHere assuming CP didn’t lie to me, yes they knew. And no, he was found in a field with his mum and newborn siblings years prior in the village I lived in and so we decided to adopt him - no special breed. He was ginger and white. A lovely cat but too much for us in the end

To give my cat away because he pees all over the house?
HarrietKettleWasHere · 09/05/2018 09:45

Gorgeous cat. Hope it worked out for him.

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:45

Yes he is fully peeing. He crouches down to do it, sometimes he brazenly does it in front of us and he knows he is doing wrong because we tell him off and he runs to do it in his tray instead...

OP posts:
Sleeplikeasloth · 09/05/2018 09:45

Might sound daft, but have they checked things like his eyesight? He seems very scared, and if he can't see (it's not always obvious) that could be the reason.

Also, persevere with the outdoors, but you have to allow him to do it on his terms, and it will take a while.

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:46

@Mousefunky I know how you feel. I still miss him sometimes, but honestly it’s such a relief too and I was at my wits end. You need to think about yourself Flowers good luck!

InspirationUnavailable · 09/05/2018 09:52

Just saw the bit about clearing the clean bits - if our cat has done a poo in his tray (rarer as he is an outdoor cat) he won’t use it again until the whole thing has been changed and cleaned. This is doable for us as he maybe uses it twice/three times a week but on the rare occasion he has been inside for long periods of time and we haven’t done a full change it has lead to him going elsewhere. I think the most sustainable solution is to really work on him being confident going outside.

IwankaTramp · 09/05/2018 09:53

Any chance you could try putting it out for extended periods of time and ignoring the mewing until it adjusts?

Pop food and water out. When it does come in limit the areas of the house it can go in where any piddles can be easily cleaned up.

Ginkypig · 09/05/2018 09:54

It's a difficult problem to deal with because once there's pee there it's marked and cleaning it doesn't necessarily get rid of the smell (to the cat)

How much time is he alone? Some cats the same as dogs do this if they are left alone in the house for long periods like if your all out at work/school.

Do you give him a row or anything for it? Cats are like small children or again dogs, they don't understand why your shouting or giving attention all they know is when they do xyz (pee) they get interaction from you.

Tinkobell · 09/05/2018 09:54

I agree with @FASH84, the cat needs to spread his wings outdoors. It takes a long time for a cat to really comfortably establish their patch - around a year in fact. We moved our cat 18 months ago and only now is he reasonably relaxed here outside. The risk you take of course is them getting hit by a car...,we live with that knowledge everyday but know we have an inherently happier cat.
If the weathers fine, leave the door open for him to explore. Get a flap fitted.

IwankaTramp · 09/05/2018 09:55

Another thing to check is the type of food it has. A lot of cats get issues from a diet of just dry food and need good quality wet food in addition because they get crystals in their bladder etc

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/05/2018 09:55

We had a cat trainer try to make ours more outdoorsy... never worked

Snappymcsnappy · 09/05/2018 09:55

Do you think he's doing it for attention...?
I know people say animals don't do naughty things deliberately to invoke a reaction, have no concept of guilt etc but I disagree.

My cat definitely does naughty things to get reactions.
For example, through the day she never pays any attention to my plants, but at night (when I feed the animals) she makes a point of biting and ripping the plants and when chastised runs to her food bowl....

I bet if it's not UTI and other medical things he's doing it for attention.

poopsqueak · 09/05/2018 09:56

Our cat pees through his litter tray every day. Could you change it every day? Also have a few around the house.

Limit his water? Cats don't need as much water as other animals.

He needs to be going outside, I would have the back door open every time you are in the house and sometimes lock him outside with yourself.

I would also maybe limit his access to a few rooms and remove soft furnishings that might seem like a nice place to pee.

MumofBoysx2 · 09/05/2018 09:56

To be honest if it were me and I'd tried all the things you already have, and I was about to have a newborn in the house, I would probably take him to the shelter you mentioned, because for sanity reasons there is no way you can have cat wee near baby things! And you will be busy enough cleaning with a baby and young child without clearing up after a cat as well. As long as they really do have a long peaceful life. You could always offer to contribute to the cost of keeping him there. Get a dog, they are much more easily trained!

HarrietKettleWasHere · 09/05/2018 09:57

'Get a dog' ?!

Yes, training a puppy/dog is a piece of piss Hmm

poopsqueak · 09/05/2018 09:58

Also it could definitely be attention. When I scold my cats, one clicks where he is (could be anywhere) and the other scuttles off and goes for someone's drink (Any drink, even booze if it's around!) we think it's quite funny, but really they do do these things for attention.

Emma198 · 09/05/2018 09:58

Have you tried an open tray? A lot don't like the hooded ones. If it's stress or frustration then persevering with letting him outside could work. There's also anti anxiety medication. You could try keeping him in one small room just with bed, food and litter box to help him establish the right habits.

I volunteered at a shelter where there's a cat who went to them because he would poo all over. They usually manage to resolve these issues but with him they couldn't so now he lives there, in a pen he can get outside from and someone just cleans his poo up from wherever it I. Usually at the entrance to his own! He wees in his box. So there are some lovely places who keep them. He has the run of the place and seems very happy.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 09/05/2018 10:00

mumof if someone can’t deal with a cat, they definitely can’t deal with a dog.

I’d keep working on taking him outside if I were you, but it sounds like you have already made up your mind.

FASH84 · 09/05/2018 10:01

OP I'm assuming you're using a proper enzyme cleaner? If not it'll encourage him to do it more, even if you can't smell it he will. This one from Amazon is good, our cat peed inside a bit when we moved house and had lots of builders etc in and out.

To give my cat away because he pees all over the house?
Fluffycloudland77 · 09/05/2018 10:01

Try ultra clumping litter, it’s very cheap in Wilkos, it’s the closet to earth which is what cats are designed to wee in.

Buy cystease capsules from feliway, just the month supply pack and mix the capsule contents in his food. If he has stress cystitis or is prone to it this will help. It calms them down a lot. I stopped our Bengal weeing everywhere doing this.

There was a bbc program on this a few weeks ago and they stopped her cat doing the same just by changing the litter to ultra clumping.

butterballs9 · 09/05/2018 10:01

Our cat does this sometimes. She does it when she is stressed. We now tend to keep her confined to a small area of the house downstairs (study/home office area) where they are no soft furnishings and there is her basket, a litter tray and cat flap. She was a rescue cat too and has always been very timid. Now she is quite elderly and doesn't seem to mind having her own small area. And now it's summer she can be outdoors a fair bit too. This has worked. It is also really important to clean out the litter tray several times a day if necessary.

RidingWindhorses · 09/05/2018 10:03

You can't just put a cat outside the back door and expect him to go figure.

You need to introduce him to the garden slowly and regularly until he adjusts.

Having said that, now he's in the habit of peeing inside I doubt he will stop, even if he did get used to going out.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/05/2018 10:03

Don’t limit his water btw, sure fire way to cystitis is low water intake and then you’ve got a vets bill to get rid of cystitis.

Snappymcsnappy · 09/05/2018 10:04

Not that I am insinuating you should get rid of kitty for a dog but I have to say, like *mumofboysx2' I have found dogs much better behaved!
Probably because most of them want to please and get most upset if they do something wrong whereas cats don't really give a shit!

My dog spends most of her evening actually alerting me to the various naughty things cat is doing Grin

FASH84 · 09/05/2018 10:04

You're also not changing his litter enough