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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my cat away because he pees all over the house?

139 replies

Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 09:13

I have a 1.5 year old Tom cat, adopted at four months. He is neutered and well loved.

The problem is, he pisses everywhere. I have asked for advice from my vet numerous times and yes, he has been checked multiple times for UTI’s and even diabetes, all came back fine. All the vet says is it’s behavioural and she advised a few products to buy such as Feliway, catnip and spraying the urine off stuff all over, all of which I have done (and spent a fortune on...)

I have had to change an entire rooms flooring, throw numerous things away including some of my DC’s toys and clothes and have spent a fortune on cleaning products because of it. I am also four months pregnant and dreading the cat potentially peeing on the baby’s things too.

He is a house cat and always has been so I considered maybe he wanted to go outside and have tried putting him out a few times but all he does is cower and meow at the doorstep to come back in.

I am furious because today I found he had peed all over my new living room curtains Angry. I love him but I just can’t deal with this anymore. Does anyone have any advice or do I just need to admit defeat and give him away to a shelter?

OP posts:
DBoo · 09/05/2018 10:27

Yes that has been suggested before @Snappymcsnappy really need to look into it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/05/2018 10:31

What litters have you tried so far?.

Lizzie48 · 09/05/2018 10:33

I believe Cats Protection have fosterers who work with cats with behavioural problems? How does that work?

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 10:38

I’ve tried the organic wood pellets, antibacterial clumping from Morrisons, catsan clay ultra clumping, felight clumping and non clumping and also the stuff that turns blue when they pee.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 10:41

I don’t think I can afford a cat psychologist tbh. We must’ve spent hundreds or even over a thousand already replacing things and on cleaning products, toys, products such as feliway etc.

He seems to be enjoying sitting at the door looking outside but hasn’t ventured out yet.

OP posts:
juneau · 09/05/2018 10:44

My DM has had masses of rescue cats and they have ALL pissed in the house, bar none. One actually used to like shitting on her stove top (it's one of those sheet of thick glass ones). She has, over the years, used every product on the market, cleans the litter regularly, cleans up the piss asap, you name it. I think a lot of cats just do piss in the house. They are territorial, even females, and certain smells, often (ironically), of cleaning products seem to set them off. But I've never known one of them be truly cured of it. They may improve slightly over time, but from the experience of my family - and of about 10 different cats - is that 'once a pisser, always a pisser'.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 09/05/2018 10:47

Have you seen the My Cat From Hell TV programmes? They have some very good advice. I don't use covered trays personally because I've never had a cat that would use them. I think the rule generally is one tray per cat plus one extra, but more is definitely better.
How much time do you spend playing with him very day? I've found our cats behaviour improves a lot if they get regular playtime, and we make the toys usually so there isn't really a huge cost involved.

MilfordFound · 09/05/2018 10:49

Sounds like you've tried everything! I can understand how you feel, I'd be feeling the same.
We have 3 cats, one of them has always been a bit pissy. Since we moved house last year she has taken to weeing in the corner at the bottom of the stairs. I've put a litter tray there, taken her to the vet, tried all the suggestions etc. I was using the carpet cleaner twice a day, getting more and more frustrated. Couldn't bear the thought of rehoming her, she's such a lovely cat apart from being little miss piss. And she does use the litter tray too, and loves being outside, so it's not like she doesn't have options.
There is now a puppy pad permanently at the bottom of the stairs, when she wees its replaced. I don't think she'll ever stop weeing there, but at least the house doesn't smell of cat piss. And for now it's ok, we can manage like this without being desperate enough to rehome her.
It wouldn't work in your situation if your cat just goes everywhere and not in one regular place.
If I hadn't found a compromise that worked, and I had a shelter that was willing to take her and rehome or care for her, then I would've done it.

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 10:52

A friend of mine had a cat that shit all over her house including in her DC’s car seat and on her bed. I am glad it’s not also cat shit I am dealing with... she gave her cat up for adoption in the end.

We play with him for an hour or so a day and he has lots of cuddles. He has access to a big climbing tree and toys.

OP posts:
Synecdoche · 09/05/2018 10:52

I grew up with a cat like this. The final straw for my mum was when he peed in her slippers and she put her feet in...

He spent the rest of his life as a garden cat. He had a happy life. We had a shed where he could shelter and where he had his food and bed. We were always in the garden so he had company and was a much nicer and less scared/stressed out cat. He lived to 16!

As PP have said, once you have acclimatised him to the outside world could a garden cat be an option?

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 10:58

I don’t have space for more than two litter trays really and he only tends to use the hooded one downstairs as it’s the one he has had from the beginning so I think he likes it best.

I would consider him being a garden cat if he ever gets used to the outdoors. He is incredibly timid and doesn’t seem to enjoy being outdoors very much at current but perhaps that will change.

OP posts:
SamHeughansLeftEyebrow · 09/05/2018 11:01

You could also try going right back to basics. Keep him restricted in one room, with a litter tray, until he consistently only uses the tray.

And put bowls of food in the locations he pees. They don't usually like to pee near food, so this may help break the cycle.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/05/2018 11:03

Right, try sanicat gold ultra clumping talcum powder scented.

It’s the litter that stopped ours peeing everywhere.

He hated the crystals, wood pellet, recycled paper, catsan, & normal clumping.

SabineUndine · 09/05/2018 11:04

I would try using less cat litter and changing it every time he has a pee. Also keep all your doors shut so there’s a limit to where he can get to. And put in a catflap so he can come and go.

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 11:06

I did keep him restricted to the kitchen for about a month but I felt really mean doing it and he still peed in a couple of places in the kitchen. I would put bowls of food where he pees but there would honestly be about 15 bowls dotted around the house! He has done it in every room of the house in various places around each room.

Sorry, I don’t want to sound as though I am dismissing anyone’s advice. I just really have tried so many things now and I am incredibly frustrated with it. I’m genuinely concerned when we start to add baby things to the house those will become targets for him too. I was angry enough when he peed on my DC’s clothes and toys.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 09/05/2018 11:07

You don't need to actually pay a psychologist. If you buy the Vicky Halls books on cat behaviour (or borrow them from the library), she has so much good advice on things you can do.

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 11:07

I will try that litter, thank you Smile.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 09/05/2018 11:08
  1. World's Best Cat Litter - buy it on Amazon. Expensive, but lasts ages.
  1. Put the litter trays on a higher surface. He's stressed for some reason about using them, cats usually feel safer when up on a higher surface.
  1. Can you restrict his movements around your house for a while, stop him going upstairs and keep him in a room/few rooms downstairs? I don't mean lock him in a cupboard or anything cruel, but give him somewhere nice and cosy and safe to hang out until he gets out of the habit of mooching off to have a pee on your bed. In the meantime, deep clean the rest of the house and stop it smelling of wee, so he doesn't return to continue having a wee on what he considers a suitable toilet.
  1. Gradually reintroduce access to further rooms and see how he goes. If he wees again, repeat step 3.

This was how we dealt with my cat when she started doing similar. She's also nervous and doesn't like going outside.

PuppyMonkey · 09/05/2018 11:11

sorry cross posted about you saying you tried restricting to the kitchen. You need to bite the bullet and do it, OP.

ToadOfSadness · 09/05/2018 11:12

I lived with this for 10 years, however mine was a rescue cat and had met with an accident before I got him, had no tail and possibly nerve damage. He could pee in a litter tray but didn't.

I tried crate training after all the medical tests had been done, although he had what the vet called a thick bladder, and he was prone to UTIs when given dry food so stopped that as he also had constipation which can cause bladder discomfort/problems due to the proximity of bladder and bowel.

I removed some of the curtains, and bought industrial quantities of Simple Solution as I new no-one else would adopt him if I gave him back and I couldn't do it anyway, so just did a lot more cleaning and laundry.

It can also be a medical issue, a tumour could cause it.

If you rehome him please look for a sanctuary rather than a rehoming centre, where they will give him a home for life. Due to his disposition I think he is a very nervous and unhappy cat and would be happier in a different environment, not saying that it is your fault, some cats are naturally stressed.

Rudgie47 · 09/05/2018 11:13

He needs to be going out, I'd get a harness and keep taking him out all the time until he gets his confidence up. He will run straight back in a lot, they do that. Mine was a house cat for 5 years before I got him and hed never been out.
He used to cry when out and run straight back in, but we got there in the end, he now loves going out. He also has never had a problem with his harness, i've got a www.mynwoodcatjackets.co.uk and an extender lead.
Also when hes o.k at going out I'd get him a small dog kennel and he can go in there when its too hot or raining etc. Thats what mine both do.

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 11:14

I don’t know if there is something wrong with him but he can’t jump onto high surfaces without a step up to help him iykwim. I.e he can’t get onto the living room windowsill without climbing onto the TV stand to reach it. So I would worry about him not reaching his tray if I placed it high up. Also where could I put it high up, it doesn’t seem hygienic having it on the worktop or kitchen table?

I will try the litters suggested though for sure, thank you. And I will try restricting him to the kitchen only again. I deep clean the house twice a week and spray the enzyme stuff all over daily.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 09/05/2018 11:16

It's not ideal on a work surface, I know, it seems mad - but also it's not ideal on your furnishings either...

Original poster
Mousefunky · 09/05/2018 11:18

No known medical issues, he has been checked over by a vet a few times.

I will try the harness to introduce him to the outdoors and keep him in the kitchen again.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 09/05/2018 11:22

It seems like you have tried everything. You can't go on like this so I would say that sadly, yanbu to take him to a shelter. With a big donation.

If you still want to try things, cbd oil could help. Not veterinary approved but I've found it useful for many cat issues.