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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

6 and 7 year olds being kep in at lunch time for forgetting homework

575 replies

DaanSaaf · 08/05/2018 20:55

Year 2 ds just told me they have to stay in at lunch time and do extra work if they haven't brought their homework in.

Aibu to think that's a bit harsh at their age?

OP posts:
Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 06:32

@Pengggwyn

Exactly. I have to set the homework, and would be in trouble for not following school policy if I didn't.

Coyoacan · 13/05/2018 06:44

I say "bring back the cane!"

I'm saying this totally personally, but I'm of the generation that got caned in primary school. I seem to remember getting caned pretty much every day, but what I hated was secondary school where they weren't allowed to cane us and we kept in or extra homework.

So I'm not really defending corporal punishment, just pointing out how horrible detention is. Much too severe for six year olds.

PinkBassoon · 13/05/2018 07:52

Setting the homework is fine. Expecting 6 / 7 Years olds to be in control of their own lives enough to ensure homework is completed (in only 3 days) despite probably having a busy home and family life is unrealistic.
It is totally not fine to punish children for something that is out of their control.

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 08:00

@pinkbassoon

If setting the homework is fine, surely it should at least be attempted? Otherwise it is pointless to me.

Keeping them in at lunchtime is just a deterrent to make them have a try with homework.

Pengggwn · 13/05/2018 08:05

It is totally not fine to punish children for something that is out of their control.

But that is where parental choice comes in, isn't it? Don't send your child to an institution where the established policy is that they set homework and they expect it to be done, if you know the consequence is that the child will be expected to do it in their 'own time' at school, if you would like to be able to choose for them not to do homework.

PinkBassoon · 13/05/2018 08:06

Do you mark the homework and send it home with comments on?
We get given homework - sometimes we have time to do it, sometimes we don't. It is never marked or sent home anyway, so for all I know it isn't even looked at when handed in.

Is it really so essential that your homework tasks are completed, to require such a harsh deterrent?

You haven't really listened to the views of other parents / teachers and you appear to have little understanding of family life with 6/7 year olds. They are still very young - there is plenty of time to teach homework discipline.

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 08:12

@Pinkbasson

Yes I mark the homework with comments.

Harsh deterrent maybe, but I can not think of alternative.

PinkBassoon · 13/05/2018 08:40

Just give them an extra couple of days to do it perhaps?! 🤦‍♀️

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 08:50

@Pinkbassoon

3 days is plenty of time. There are plenty of things that the children have to remember when they at school.

As an example what days they have p.e or to use the loo at break as I won't let them go during lesson time.

If parents are happy to put their child in a school where homework is expected, then they should go to the trouble of making sure it is completed.

PinkBassoon · 13/05/2018 08:52

If you say so 🤦‍♀️😣

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 09:11

If parents know the days the homework is to be done, they should ensure their child has done it.

ICantCopeAnymore · 13/05/2018 09:14

Linzey, I think your first job should be to go back to school yourself and learn how to use grammar and punctuation correctly.

Then you need to revisit some university modules, in particular, child development, how children learn and social inclusion. You don't seem to understand any aspect of those topics at all.

Finally, you need to perhaps have some therapy for the way you treat little children. It sounds like you have some massive issues with resentment and the need to punish.

I really don't think you should be teaching in your current state. It's very worrying.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 09:18

Pengwyyn - I firmly believe in sending kids to the closest school rather than shopping around - that’s what creates the vast differential between our schools. Besides, if it’s a box ticking ofsted exercise then all schools will be the same? It’s like religion - my local schools are all church schools, I have no choice but to send my kids to a church school when I fundamentally disagree with religion and education being linked. But I have no choice if I want to state educate? School know and accept we’re atheist though, as are most of the families in our secular community, so it doesn’t mean I can’t access education there just because I don’t agree with every little thing they do or believe? I think you’re conflating choosing state education with retaining no parental choice or control and that’s just not the case. Nor should it be.

I’m surprised that people are so conformist. We are all different. I make choices for my kids, you make them for yours. But to say parents can’t choose whether to do homework is ridiculous, and a good school must accommodate such requests appropriately or risk meritorious complaints (regarding unfair child treatment) to governors. I’m a governor myself, the school knows I’m not saying this to be awkward, to make a point, to be a rebel, it’s because it’s not in my children’s best interests which they accept. They respect my parental choice. Sounds like our school is much more forward thinking and innovative than most.

Linzey- you seem to lack the imagination or flexibility which is integral to teaching. You mark those books you get. Re the ones you don’t get back, the most you should do is drop a note to parents. Regardless of the response, you’ll then know what you already should have gleaned from the facts - that it’s a parental issue rather than child culpability. Punishing the child is both poor practice and child cruelty.

As a teacher you are obligated to adapt learning to suit all children. One size does not fit all. Were you in my school I suspect you would be disciplined for your actions described. I hope you intend to serve out your career where you are as your practice might need to adapt quite significantly elsewhere.

As for not letting kids go to the loo, bloody hell I hope you don’t have kids. My youngest goes every half an hour. No diagnosed medical condition, just very late development of control. If you said no, she would soil herself. Her confidence would be crushed in your care.

Do you actually like children at all? Most importantly, do you have your own? I think you have an awful lot of learning to do about children.

ICantCopeAnymore · 13/05/2018 09:23

I'm actually wondering if she is the piss troll going about bringing up toileting in a long and elaborate way because they keep getting kicked off when they are obvious about it.

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 09:27

@Curious

As I have said the kids do actually do the work, so punishment is incredibly rare.

As for the loo, they have three breaks a day, plenty of reminders and are fine holding on.

No children of my own. I do actually really enjoy my job and my class.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 09:32

Icantcope - I hope she is to be honest because she shouldn’t be teaching at the moment.

If you’re not a troll linzey, please please please take some time to consider your practice. It sounds like you’ve become hardened to education and have lost sight the reasons you may have entered the profession in the first place. Knowing the pressures placed on teachers from behind the scenes, I can see how they might happen over time. But punishing children unfairly, taking away their breaks and rendering them unrefreshed for the afternoon is not the way to assure your stats. Quite the opposite.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 09:33

Linzey - I’ve told you my daughter’s toileting situation. What would you do in relation to her?

ICantCopeAnymore · 13/05/2018 09:34

I've reported her so Mumsnet can look into it - something doesn't ring true and the bringing up of toileting has just confirmed my doubts.

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 09:37

@Curious

Allowed to go of course.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 09:41

Thanks for confirming that linzey. You may need to just apply that flexibility to other child related matters. Honestly, I think you may have lost sight of what’s important about education. Those kids trust you - don’t teach them that life is so bloody unfair so early on.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 09:42

Put your hand on your heart linzey - do you really think a 6 year old has any real control over her life outside school?

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 09:50

@curious

If a parent writes a note explaining such situation as your daughter, they are allowed to go.

To be fair I've always assumed that all parents would want their child to do homework, but obviously

I have nothing more to add.

Linzeyhun · 13/05/2018 09:50

obviously not.

Curiousaboutchoices · 13/05/2018 10:01

I sense you are an inexperienced teacher Linzey but you obviously accept that 6 year olds aren’t in control and I truly hope you will now change your approach to homework. Clearly a letter from parents doesn’t change that situation and it’s never the child’s fault.

The reason I suspect you are inexperienced is because it seems like you’ve not had a great deal of exposure to a range of classes and parents. Lots of parents hate homework - not all of us are part of this pushy parenting trend where we wear our children’s academic achievement like a badge of honour and some of us desperately want them to develop at their own rate, like we did as kids when education wasn’t so micromanaged and parenting wasn’t a competitive sport. Open your eyes and try to see things from the child’s perspective, not from the perspective that one size fits all. You have conceded in this thread that it does not, which therefore means that you must concede that applying this principle, as you hitherto have been doing in practice, is wrong.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/05/2018 10:03

I think Linzeyhun life has not touched you.

You work in a school and that is all you know.

When you say children have 3 days to complete their homework you aren't taking on board that actually they have in those 3 days, school, eca's, sleeping, eating, bath time, travelling and siblings taking up those 3 days.

Both dd and ds went straight from school to 2-3 hours of eca's, ate in the car, then back by 7-8ish, bath time, getting ready for bed. A story then it would all start again the following day.

Homework maybe squeezed in between lessons or I did it.

Then dd went to a senior school that didn't set homework in the first year, and only did academic work half the week.