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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6 and 7 year olds being kep in at lunch time for forgetting homework

575 replies

DaanSaaf · 08/05/2018 20:55

Year 2 ds just told me they have to stay in at lunch time and do extra work if they haven't brought their homework in.

Aibu to think that's a bit harsh at their age?

OP posts:
ThisIsTheFirstStep · 12/05/2018 13:55

Pengggwn Because until corporal punishment was made illegal, you didn’t have much choice except to send your kid to school.

I have zero interest in my kids doing homework. And they don’t at their current school, it isn’t given. When I go back to the UK, I expect I won’t have much choice where I send them, so what should I do? Complain, get ignored and then? Home school them? I can’t afford that so what’s the solution.

I will not teach my child that they have to do every single thing someone in authority tells them. My children are taught to respect feelings, to play nicely, to respect others.

But they aren’t taught that just because someone is older than them, then they have to do everything that person says.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 13:56

@Audree

I'm sorry but rushing homework before school and "not bringing it home" isn't an acceptable attitude at secondary school and will affect his academic progress.

Whether he likes doing it or not, it's your job as a parent to make sure he does it properly, as he clearly lacks the maturity to do so(probably an inherited trait tbf).

This is an example of what impact parents' anti- homework and generally anti-authority attitudes can have on DC. It's all very well not doing it in yr2 when I agree it doesn't matter educationally but if you don't enforce it then, your DC thinks they have free rein when it does matter.

Believeitornot · 12/05/2018 13:57

@CalF123 at primary school you’ve not been able to point to any studies which demonstrate the benefit. Only at secondary.

Throw around insults all you like. That’s usually what people do when they have no logical argument for making a 6 year old do homework.

Pengggwn · 12/05/2018 13:58

ThisIsTheFirstStep

So instead, you teach your child to disrespect the rules of their school. Well, good luck. I'm sure that will work out for you.

Believeitornot · 12/05/2018 14:01

This is an example of what impact parents' anti- homework and generally anti-authority attitudes can have on DC

Really.

There’s someone I work with who drives me insane because he lacks initiative and drive. Has to be told to do anything. Just won’t do it himself.

We were chatting once and he told me his mum made him do his homework all the way through his childhood, and he basically screwed up university because Mum wasn’t there to tell him what to do.

Parents who don’t enforce homework aren’t automatically anti-authority. They’re usually quite pragmatic and realise it’s not worth the battle at aged 6.

Age 6 is about encouraging learning, not waving a battle axe and create the association that school work is something that must be done just because a grown up says so. We as adults should encourage our children to come to the conclusion that learning is fun and to find a subject that suits, and tolerate the ones which don’t.

ICantCopeAnymore · 12/05/2018 14:01

You know, there are other ways rather than teaching your child to disrespect the school? Confused

I told my DS' teacher he wouldn't be doing any homework until late KS2. She completely agreed with me and he doesn't do homework. He wasn't even aware of it until Year 5 and he now does it once a week.

CecilyP · 12/05/2018 14:08

Whether he likes doing it or not, it's your job as a parent to make sure he does it properly, as he clearly lacks the maturity to do so(probably an inherited trait tbf).

At secondary school it really isn’t. It is his responsibility and if it is not up to scratch, it is up to the teacher to say something. At secondary there is often time set aside at lunchtime or after school to do homework, so there will be some that parents never see. Also, they could well be studying things their parents have never done, so they wouldn’t know if it’s done properly.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 14:13

It's not about 'forcing' then to do homework. It's about giving them the skills and self-discipline to do it for themselves.

I completely agree that there's a big issue with overbearing parents micromanaging their DC so they can't cope at uni. I'm a great believer in independence- my DC have completely unlimited access to screens, for example, as long as homework and revision is done. They can go to bed whenever they want also. They're mature enough to self-regulate because of the skills they've been instilled with from a young age.

Pengggwn · 12/05/2018 14:13

When I come home sometimes from school, utterly mystified at the attitudes of some students towards their learning - rushing homework, not handing it in, not responding to either encouragement or challenge, not understanding the value of their education - I'll think of this thread. It explains a lot.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 14:14

@CecillyP

Except in this case, the reason he isn't doing it is the PP's fault because of the anti-homework and anti-authority propaganda she has been feeding him. It's now her responsibility to fix the mess she's created.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/05/2018 14:15

he clearly lacks the maturity to do so(probably an inherited trait tbf).

That's just rude, @CalF123. Not a sign of a good argument, when you have to resort to personal abuse of another poster.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 14:19

@Gasp

It's not rude, it's a factual observation based on the information provided.

Audree · 12/05/2018 14:31

Lol, you’re funny. Your arguments don’t really deserve a reply. You actually made me chuckle.

Audree · 12/05/2018 14:33

On a different note: dd has tests next week; the first thing she said this morning before even saying hello was: “My teacher told us to eat well and sleep well this weekend so we are ready for the tests”.

I’ll have to buy her teacher flowers 🌺 I love her.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 14:51

@Audree

Unfortunately, you seem to think your DC don't deserve a proper education either.

Audree · 12/05/2018 14:54

Obviously that’s what I think.

So insightful of you.

Grin
CecilyP · 12/05/2018 14:58

Except in this case, the reason he isn't doing it is the PP's fault because of the anti-homework and anti-authority propaganda she has been feeding him. It's now her responsibility to fix the mess she's created.

How on earth have you reached that conclusion from what Audree wrote? She said he does his homework; he does it before or after school; sometimes in school and he does it without her help!

Linzeyhun · 12/05/2018 14:59

I can see it in 5 years, a thread saying Aibu to blame the teacher for why my child is behind? Think of this thread.

As I have said I don't believe children should not be given time to eat or use the loo, but they have to do what told and if that means 6 year olds doing homework then they should.

CalF123 · 12/05/2018 15:07

@Cecily

You know perfectly well that completing homework in the 10 minutes before school isn't acceptable.

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/05/2018 15:16

Calf123 wasn't the study you are quoting from referring to secondary schools.

People can't point to whatever dodgy studies they like to suit their own hippy agenda, but the fact is homework benefits children

In ds's and a few of his fellow classmates case it was a detriment to them.

When it goes on to infer how much more advanced Indian and Chinese students are as they do so much more study than uk born children it doesn't follow that up with the suicide rates increasing in those countries for young people.

Linzeyhun · 12/05/2018 15:23

@Cecilyp

If your ok with time being set aside for children at secondary school at lunch for hometime, then what is the difference from a teaching making them stay in and do it at Primary school, within reason?

ICantCopeAnymore · 12/05/2018 15:25

Linzeyhun - I've sincerely doubted you're a teacher all the way through. Now you're just proved it Smile

Linzeyhun · 12/05/2018 15:29

@Icantcope

What?

Linzeyhun · 12/05/2018 15:31

*homework

Stupid predictive text.

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/05/2018 15:35

Linzeyhun. Are you being serious?

If children in secondary want to do the homework in their lunch time then that is their choice. Do the 6 year olds you keep in have a choice?

Again you don't seem to be able to compare like with like which for someone who is a teacher would worry me greatly.