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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've been catfished?

104 replies

NameChangeGaryOldmansMate · 08/05/2018 17:21

Name changed for this one, but penis beaker etc!

So I met a guy online after being single for a while. He seemed nice, attractive, we chatted for ages etc and eventually agreed to meet last week. I drove to his town (20 mins away) and waited at the coffee shop we agreed to meet at. After 15 mins or so and he didn't show up, I messaged him on FB asking where he was. No reply and did the same thing after about 30 mins had passed.

I hung around for about an hour (large shopping centre) but he never showed so I gave up and went home.

Later that night he messaged me on FB all apologetic, really sorry I had car troubles and my phone had died so I couldn't make it etc. I was still a bit miffed but he sounded sincere enough so carried on talking to him.

We have been having chats all week until this morning he messaged me out of the blue asking if I wanted to meet tonight at 5pm at the same place as he would be in town.

Its currently twenty past five and he isn't here! I've been stood up haven't I? :(

OP posts:
sobeyondthehills · 08/05/2018 18:17

sobeyond that’s the reason people mention it though. Don’t be pedantic. It’s not nice.

Personally I would of said its more likely to be a troll who mentions it (not saying it is in this case) then a long term mumsnetter, now that wouldn't of been nice

Fanciedachange1 · 08/05/2018 18:18

Was rob good looking?

PatchworkGirl · 08/05/2018 18:21

You've never met him and he called you "babe"? Block!

Catmum26 · 08/05/2018 18:25

Maybe he is a really nervous/shy person and completely bottled it the first time and then almost bottled it again but begged his mate to come to help him feel less awkward? Even still it’s weird and you’re better off without it but just trying to look at another option other than him just being a waste of space

AaronPurrSir · 08/05/2018 18:48

“Shy” my arse. When I was 16, I got stood up by a boy who was too “shy” to meet me on our own. I thought it was pretty pathetic then, in a fully grown adult it’s absolutely laughable!

acatcalledjohn · 08/05/2018 19:36

I had one of those years ago. Local guy, same town, and after a week or so of messaging decided to meet up in a pub. He was going on holiday the next day with a mate (or mates?), which we had talked about when messaging. We hadn't quite finalised the time, just gone with a rough idea (say: 7-7:30pm depending on traffic on our commutes home). So I get back home, texted him to say I was good to go for x time. It took him a while to respond, but effectively with about an hour spare before we were due to meet he cancelled because he had a mate staying over prior to flying out the next day. As I said, we had talked about this, so why it a problem an hour before the date and not a few days before when we arranged it is anyone's guess.

I decided to ignore him at that point.

When he got back from his holiday he tried to meet up. I told him no, that I didn't fancy dealing with that sort of flaky behaviour. His parting shot to try and convince me?

"But I'm really good in bed!"

Fuck off.

Original poster
NameChangeGaryOldmansMate · 08/05/2018 19:48

Thanks everyone for the replies! Yeah he has messaged me a few times (the first guy, will call him "Tom") basically saying oh I'm really sorry babe, give me another chance etc. I replied basically saying nope fuck off and nothing more has been forthcoming. Will chalk it up to experience and move on lol. Oh and for people asking, his friend "Rob" (again not a real name) did actually look a lot fitter from where I was standing lol. For the 2.5 seconds I saw him anyway before panicking and running away like a schoolgirl. Maybe I will match with Rob on Tinder one day.

Thanks everybody, my cake and I (and cake's new friend prosecco) are having a great evening in the garden without a Tom, Rob, Dick or Harry in sight!

OP posts:
fourquenelles · 08/05/2018 19:48

I am sure I read an almost identical OP a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I was dreaming.

Olddear · 08/05/2018 19:52

How did you know it was him if you hadn't seen him before?

Original poster
NameChangeGaryOldmansMate · 08/05/2018 19:56

@Olddear I had seen pics of him before cos we exchanged pics, I meant i hadn't physically seen him in real life before

OP posts:
Juells · 08/05/2018 19:57

@fourquenelles

I am sure I read an almost identical OP a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I was dreaming.

I think that was a guy who was obviously trying to sneak out because he'd arranged a date thinking his wife was away, then she didn't go... 😂

The world is full of wankers.

fourquenelles · 08/05/2018 19:58

Ah thanks @Juells. The world is full of wankers indeed Angry

NCbecauseIdontwanttooutasaman · 08/05/2018 20:01

Assuming he no shows send him a message tomorrow saying "had a lovely time and the sex was great" make him think he's missed out on something.

TheHumanMothboy · 08/05/2018 20:03

Scoffs@ penis beaker being old.
You need to be talking about cubes of poo and tablecloth lady!

AngkorWaat · 08/05/2018 20:08

Ah Tinder is a tough place...wankers. Wankers everywhere.

Glad you got some cake out of it though. The trick I found was to not chat for too long before setting up a date, then if they don’t show it’s not too much of a disappointment.

Having said that I met my DH on Tinder and I was a bit of a wanker...I was 2 hours late for our first date. Thank fuck he was dull enough to wait!

elderflowerandrose · 08/05/2018 20:10

This is not a great advertisement for on line dating.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 08/05/2018 20:11

awful person. that is terrible. Really really bad.

SavageBeauty73 · 08/05/2018 20:15

At least you know what a flaky arsehole he is so you haven't wasted your time. Enjoy your fizz.

ArchchancellorsHat · 08/05/2018 20:15

rivers of sweetcorn

And fields of pom bears.

Sorry you had a shitty date - at least the cake was good. I think your 'fuck off' response was perfect.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 08/05/2018 20:21

Op, if he is messing you around now and you haven't even had a date yet, imagine what actually dating him.would be like..he is either flaky, or he is deliberately messing you around for the fun of it..

Olddear · 08/05/2018 20:21

Ah I see!!

nocoolnamesleft · 08/05/2018 20:25

Sod the flaky date. We want to hear more about the chocolate cake!

SergeantCalhoun · 08/05/2018 20:33

Bit freaked out about the bringing a mate bit for some reason.

UmbridgeD · 08/05/2018 20:35

Please tell us noobs what sweet corn, Pom bears, tablecloths and poo cubes are about? I want to sit with the cool kids.

I had an abusive boyfriend who did that. It made him feel in control making me go here and there.

RomeoBunny · 08/05/2018 20:37

He's someone using a fake profile and is watching you while youre sat there OP.

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