To dress my child in this way?

[desperatehousewife101]

This is a dress from my early childhood , my mum passed away recently and I came across it in her belongings.
AIBU to dress my baby in this regardless of gender ?

I probably wouldn't, but mainly because I cba with babies in dresses. I really hate gender stereotypes so don't have any issue with boys wearing dresses. My two year old wore one of his sisters skirts over his shorts all day yesterday because he wanted to. Meh, it's an item of clothing, he was comfy and happy. And he's two! I'm not gonna start telling his he can and can't wear stuff because he's a boy, and vice vice versa for dd.

I do wish my dm had more children, boys, so I could have some gender appropriate sentimental items , but unfortunately she experienced a dangerous labour meaning she couldn't have any more children.
Must go and shout at her grave for not giving me those male sibilings!!

@CalF123 I think SS have more to worry about than clothes from end of last century being recycled.

@ScreamingValenta

"This 17th Century portrait" is the key phrase there. We are in 2018 now, and society has different norms and standards(rightly or wrongly).

I don't feel particularly feminine in anything, and I'm a woman. I can honestly say DS1's more feminine than me, and it's great that he feels free to express it.

So a boy could wear something the exact shape of a dress as long as it’s called a gown?
Yeah that's to make it more boyish.
So all the 2 year olds at nursery are wearing princess gowns.
And when my son asked for a skirt to dance in and I got him a tutu it was actually an orange net half-gown.
And the difference between his christening gown, and my wedding dress that I made it from was.. what exactly beyond size?

Ok OP you're all set.
Your DS is not wearing a dress.
He is wearing either a GOWN or a very long SMOCK.
Now is everyone happy?

Sorry but completely pissing myself at the thought of social services rushing out beacause a boy is wearing a dress.

@Grandmaswagsbag

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/custody-boy-living-as-girl-with-mother-awarded-to-father-high-court-judge-a7374761.html

That story is nothing like OP dressing her child in a keepsake. She’s not going to only put him in dresses forevermore.

Oh dear... DD has very short hair.... will I be in trouble with SS because passers by might mistake her for a boy...? Or worse..... not be able to guess her gender?

You've put him in the dress and got an adorable photo. Now put the dress away back in the memory box so it doesn't get ruined.

Everyone referred to DD as ‘he’ anyway. I really don’t think you can tell at that age. Once she was asleep in the sling with only her flowery leggings visible but they still asked how old ‘he was’. One woman was really annoyed with me for confusing her by dressing her in blue. She was wearing blue too!

I often buy 2 year old DD’s clothes from the boys’ section, and 3 month old DS is wearing her old clothes. Some people think I’m making some kind of point but I just do t think these things are important.

She’s not going to only put him in dresses forevermore.
Nor tell him he's a girl.
A boy in a dress is still a boy. The OP knows this.
Oh sorry. It's a gown.

People used to ask me if my baby was a boy or a girl a lot....I used to ask them why they needed to know.

Only ever got one straight answer and that was from a 4 yo girl at a swimming pool.

She said "I need to know because I don't like playing with boys, only girls"

Basically the only reason anyone needs to be certain or correct about the gender of a baby is so they can crack on with imposing those wonderful gender stereotypes....

Also I never corrected strangers on DD's gender - I like to think this contributed to a general reduction in the gender stereotyping she was exposed to in the first year of her life.

She got cited for being strong/brave/knows his own mind etc. almost as often as gorgeous/sweet/kind natured etc.

Unfortunately she started looking more female at 1.5 years when the inevitable' ohh I can't believe you are letting her climb that, poor little flower, what happens if she falls' started up.

We still engaged in cross dressing at the swimming pool until she was 6, because DD dressed in a spiderman swimming costume was allowed to swim in the deep end unmolested, while DD dressed in a flowery costume got stopped incessantly by lifeguards asking if she was really a good enough swimmer and sometimes forced to swim a length to prove it....

I’m really surprised at that morphene - I have 2 boys and often look after my niece too. They’re always up trees, swimming in the sea etc. No one has ever singled out my niece and told me she shouldn’t be doing that.

OP do you have a thing of wishing your boy was a girl, if only so you could have the sentimental satisfaction of dressing him in your keepsakes? You might want to give this some thought. My SIL occasionally dressed her boys in rather girly clothes for this reason, quite unconsciously I suspect. I’m not sure of the meaning of this for the child or your own feelings but it could be a think to give some thought to.

stop it surprised me too...but as mentioned in my earlier post, I think it depends on where you live in the country. I actually sent an email to complain about the lifeguards at one swimming pool...and suggested they all go on unconscious bias training.

It was really upsetting to see them undermine DDs confidence whenever they saw her as dressed as female.

its also age related I think. Female toddlers are massively biased against in physical activity.

There was a study done that showed male and female babies had the same physical skills on average, but that parents estimation of their abilities was very biased. By the end of a 2 year period the effect of constant undermining and bias had converted into actual physical ability differences.

The extent to which adults will restrict the activity and development of female toddlers is kind of horrifying.

Oh I meant to add that now DD is nearly 7 she doesn't get as much passerby interference when up a tree!

I would assume he was a girl and maybe raise an eyebrow when I found out he was male. I would think you were either trying to be very 'modern' or that you were a little batshit (in a nice way).

Go for it though if it makes you happy to see him in it!! Life is too short.

I was actually mistaken for a boy until I was around 14 years of age when I had a ill advised spiral perm and being mistaken for a boy was the least of my worries.

I used to get called 'son' in the supermarket all the time. I felt embarrassed at the time but it had no lasting damage.

very modern or very historic...

is it worrying that we might be living in the era of peak gender stereotyping?

It used to be perfectly fine for both genders of children to wear dresses....and obviously it will be in the future too....so I wonder what people will make of this random 200 years or so when people went out of their way to mark female and male children as different.

@Balaboosteh definitely not wishing I had a girl! Dp on the other hand ..

I noticed the same, @Morphene. With DD people direct her to different toys, talk to her about different things, and expect a different level of physical ability in the playground based on how she’s dressed. I don’t go out of my way to dress her ‘as a boy’ or ‘gender neutral’ but people treat her differently based on if they perceive her to be a boy or girl. Not everyone, obviously, but a significant percentage.