To dress my child in this way?

[desperatehousewife101]

This is a dress from my early childhood , my mum passed away recently and I came across it in her belongings.
AIBU to dress my baby in this regardless of gender ?

One of the main abuse/neglect indicators social services look for is children dressed inappropriately.

Which means
Child in clothes inappropriate for the weather
Child in clothes that don't fit
Child in clothes that are inappropriate to the occasion e.g. always in school uniform including at weekends, permanently in pyjamas all day
Child permanently in clothes that are falling apart and were clearly bought for another child and handed down several times without mending
NOT
Child once wearing dress from much-loved, now-deceased relative.

Inappropriately for the weather, was how it was explained to me Cal.

You'll look like you're Making A Point, wheeling your boy around in a dress. Will you harangue lecture passersby who innocently assume a baby in a dress is a girl?

@drspouse

Like it or not, in UK society, boys do not wear dresses. Hence, it could definitely be viewed as inappropriate depending on the social worker, as a lot is left to personal discretion.

Another way it could become an issue is if the OP has interactions with health workers i.e. health visitors/GPs. As I say, it could be perceived as an indicator of a mental health issue, which would lead to further investigations not only by the GP but potentially by other agencies as well.

HV have always written that DD is dressed appropriately for the weather in her red book. Loads of the boys nearby are dressed in what are essentially dresses.

The worst anyone could say about OP is that she’s a bit sentimental. She’s not going to recreate all her childhood outfits for him until he’s 16. It’s one dress on a baby. If she has a traditional Christening dress he’ll be in one then.

Like it or not, in UK society, boys do not wear dresses.
Yes they do.
They wear christening gowns
They wear night gowns
They wear sleep bags.
This is not something she's going to do every day. Or have you not read the whole thread by any chance?

@drspouse

None of those items are 'dresses' by the definition of the word. Have you ever seen a boy wearing an actual dress in real life? I bet you the answer's no.

In hot weather dresses can be great, keeps them cool, easy nappy changing access and no tight waistbands. My babies always hated waistbands digging in.

Quite suprised by some of the responses on here. If toys arent gendered, why are clothes?

Sooner we get rid if the stereotypes of boys and girls things, the better.

Nobody will notice it's a dress if he's in the buggy, they'll only notice it's blue, ime.

good grief. I despair at the level and power of the CONFORM being broadcast on MN sometimes.

YADNBU OP.

Whether or not his massively controversial action of putting a baby in clothes will draw comment will likely depend on where you live. In London my nephew always went as princess Elsa on school dressing up days, and often wasn't the only boy to do so. Up here in the NE I've seen a man ignore his own child all afternoon at a party because the child wanted to wear fairy wings with his pirate costume to a pirates and fairies bash.

I think this thread is an example of how mumsnet is in a world of its own at times. I have lived in a number of places throughout my life, including a number of 'naice' areas in large cities and I have never seen a boy wearing a dress. Yet you would think it's a perfectly normal, everyday occurrence from reading this thread.

cal just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean it doesn't happen. On the other hand when others have experienced something, that means it does actually happen. You might want to acknowledge that before insisting incorrectly that boys don't ever wear dresses.

Your baby looks happy and healthy, so dress him how you like. In the past, children of both sexes would wear 'dresses' when they were very young. This 17th Century portrait is of the future Charles II, Princess Mary and James II - all dressed very similarly.

So a boy could wear something the exact shape of a dress as long as it’s called a gown? And a tartan skirt means it’s not a skirt?

Loads of boys round your way are wearing dresses, Buster??

cal I live in Totnes and I can assure you it’s totally normal here. I did witness a bloke having an argument with the security guard at Morrison’s yesterday because he wanted to take his owl into the shop with him though .

I wouldn't really ..I mean sure you can if you want and your baby won't give a shit but I don't see why would.
If the dress is really sentimental why not use the material to make something else from it for your child to keep.

@CalF123 are you joking?! This is not a manifestation of a mental illness?! I thought it was actually quite funny that he was in a dress, DP changed him into something whilst I was out as he "didn't like him wearing a girl outfit". Should I LTB?

Wow ..well this has taken a turn.

I personally wouldn't put a boy in a dress but it's your baby, your dress, your choice. I'd perhaps be mindful that if you take your baby out in the dress - people will probably assume your baby is a girl. If your baby is a boy - are you ok with constantly correcting people ?

Yes, @Iamagreyhound - lots of boys and men in traditional dress so calf and ankle length kaftans and thobes. They also wear the same sort of thing as any British kids at other times.

@Fizzymama I constantly correct anyway for my ds2 , less so now for my ds1 as he is almost 3 but had comments recently
Even when dressed in all blue , "boy "clothes

@desperatehousewife101

I'm not saying it is a manifestation of mental illness. I'm saying dressing children in inappropriate clothing, especially with the sentimental aspect here, can be viewed as such by medical professionals, social services and other agencies that work with families and children.

@CalF123 I think dressing young children in outfits like Prince George wears on photocalls (Long frilly socks, knickerbockers, matching hats, lacy tops ) , which a certain community seem to do at some of the playgroups we go to, is really quite inappropriate and doesn't aid the child in playing freely.
Would this be deemed a red flag by SS?

No, I have no idea why any mother would want to inflict this on a child. Ok, he has no idea now obviously, but I hope this kind of thing doesn't persist into his toddler years, unless HE chooses it.

Dresses in general and throughout history are a feminine garment designed to complement the female form. Of course you would feel more feminine wearing most dresses than a man's trousers and jumper or something. Does this even need explaining? I think MN is a different planet and some people try too hard to be "right on" to the point of becoming ridiculous. Who cares if children wore smocks in 1602 or whenever. That is not the context of the world we're in today, just as you would probably not waltz out in a toga.