Very worried

[tasha1223]

I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have had our fair share of ups and downs! Around 4 teats ago I cheated on him with a friend of my sisters. I regretted it immediately and we managed to sort things out. He went on holiday to Vegas for 10 days with his brother and friend and left me at home with out 3 kids( a whole different thread)!! He is due to come home on Friday. The problem is he is still finding it hard to trust me! And the whole time he has been away he has messaged accusing me of Everything. Today we had a chat and I thought we were good. However tonight he has called me and announced that years ago I was carrying in with his brother and he's admitted it!!! He. Tried to call tonight and I ignored him. He then sent me an intimate picture of me and told me If u didn't answer he was listing it in Facebook!! I'm in tears as I am terrified of him posting Thea rummages and also because I am physically and emotionally drained of being accused of everything u can imagine over a mistake made 4 years ago. I need someone to put my mind at ease
Posted in aibu for traffic

@doormat12
Wish I was as strong as some of you

Unfortunately some of us are strong now only because we've been through shit and managed to come out the other side. Now I look back and wonder how I ever allowed someone to grind me down to such an extent. 😕

" I would rather have a few weeks of embarrassment than a lifetime of hell. "

What a fabulous way of looking at it-and what your Gran says!

Also-" those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."

doormat, you will need to practice the "grey rock" attitude.
there is a cycle of behaviour that he will put you through:
he will turn it all on you, he will promise to change, he will buy flowers, he will cry, he will then say you are mad, nuts, incapable, he will threaten to take the Dc, he will do all of this.
You must remain sceptically silent,
the best response is, "its not working for me", & repeat.
Do not try & justify yourself, explain, reason, or cry.
just say its over & not a day too soon.
It will be tough, you never wanted it to be this way, you don't want to be a single parent, you love the person he used to be.

But PEACE is in front of you, all the hurt, dread & anger is soon in the past. Please do this. Do not back down. re photos, tell him you have reported this to the police?
Beware of him getting violent when he realises this is for real.

Op, I can personally attest that the reason I sound "strong" now is I learned the hard way not to get used and disrespected

My self respect is hard won....and yours will be too

Same here. With exP for 11 years and put up with lots of shit. Final straw when this year when he verbally abused and physically assaulted me in front of our son.
I just lived with it for so long it became normal. I feel a lot happier now. Still loads going on but Home is peaceful, no tip toeing around someone all of the time.

glad to hear you are not staying and putting up with his vile abuse, take copies of bank statements, mortgage/house rental, bills, birth certificates, marriage certificates, passports kids red books and anything else you think might be useful

good luck