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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he should sort it out himself?

70 replies

Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:04

My parents brother is staying with us tonight. He's got an early morning flight tomorrow morning from an airport that 2 hours away from us. There is modified service between kings x and Paddington tomorrow so he can't change there to get to Heathrow.
He just mentioned to my partner that 'it's a road trip for us tomorrow then'
Now you see my partner has been away for 2 weeks with work (got home today) and going away again for a week in Tuesday.

AIBU to think just be a grown mad and sort your own s**t out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:04

*my partner's brother

OP posts:
Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:05

*grown man

Geez loads of typos - sorry guys!

OP posts:
Graphista · 06/05/2018 20:05

Yanbu he's a grown arse man he can sort his own transport!

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 06/05/2018 20:05

So did you tell your Uncle no?

Why isn't he staying somewhere closer to the airport?

Ragwort · 06/05/2018 20:06

If it was your sister would you want to help her out?

Idontdowindows · 06/05/2018 20:06

So your semi-BIL is staying with you and is assuming that your husband will take him to the airport?

Has he actually asked?

Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:13

Just to clarify he's my 'brother in law' not my uncle- so sorry about the typos. Nope he hasn't actually asked just said that.
I know my partner will help him if there is no other way but I'm thinking he can get to London and worst case he'll have to take a cab from kings x to Paddington rather than get my partner to drive him to Heathrow.

I wouldn't normally mind if he asked nicely but my partner has been working bloody hard and he could do with having one day off tomorrow in 3 weeks.

OP posts:
mither · 06/05/2018 20:14

Tell him to get the underground to Heathrow. Picadilly line from Kings Cross.

Ragwort · 06/05/2018 20:18

Surely it is up to your DP to decide whether to take him or not, you sound rather controlling 'I wouldn't normally mind if he asked nicely' Hmm.

I would be more disappointed in my DP if he didn't offer to run his brother to the airport.

Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:20

I don't think I'm being controlling but I do think it is taking the piss a bit. Of course it's up to my partner but he'd do anything for his family and I think he's brother is taking the piss here

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 06/05/2018 20:21

He's telling your partner to do a 4 hour drive while there's adequate public transport available? I think that's taking the piss.

Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:23

@Ragwort so are you saying that you would be more if your partner who have been working abroad for the past 2 weeks and going away again on Tuesday wouldn't want to drive 4 hours in total to drop his brother off at the airport because there is a closure?!

OP posts:
Skarossinkplunger · 06/05/2018 20:26

Would you take your brother or sister or leave it to sort themselves out?

Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:28

In this case I'd let them sort it out. It's a 20 minute cab drive from kings x to Paddington!

OP posts:
mither · 06/05/2018 20:33

By the time you go from kings cross to Paddington and get the express then walk from the express to whatever terminal you are as quick just getting the underground. It takes an hour compared with the express 15 minutes, but you have to factor in tube/cab/walking/waiting time so it's near enough the hour anyway.

Smeddum · 06/05/2018 20:33

If he’d asked rather than told your DP he was driving him you wouldn’t be as pissed off would you OP?
I get where you’re coming from, I’d be annoyed too, especially since he was so rude about it.
My DP is happy to help anyone, but if someone “asked” like that they’d be told to bolt!

Ragwort · 06/05/2018 20:34

Yes Duck - my DH frequently works overseas and travels a lot for work but one of the things I really admire about him is that he is kind - he would give someone a lift or help someone. I think that is a great quality and I admire him for it.

Or perhaps you could offer to drive your brother-in-law Wink - do you like him? Are you glad to have him in your family?

DelphiniumBlue · 06/05/2018 20:40

Is there a mistake in your post? I don't understand why he needs to get from kings cross to Paddington, when he can get from kings cross to Heathrow very easily on the tube. What's Paddington got to do with it?

Original poster
Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:42

I definitely wouldn't get upset if he said please can you drop me off at the airport or something like that but not just telling my partner.

I don't mind him but I don't like him. I have a good chat with him etc when I see him but that is it. I think I'll suggest him what @mither mentioned and go on the Piccadilly line

OP posts:
HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 06/05/2018 20:43

I'm confused.
Why can't he get the Piccadilly line to Heathrow? Much easier.

Failing that there are other ways to get between kings cross and Paddington, routing around on the tube, bus, Uber, black cab.

Otherwise National Express coach or an Uber or taxi to Heathrow.

As an adult it wouldn't occur to me to even ask somebody to drive four hours for me, especially when there is public transport. Completely nuts.

mither · 06/05/2018 20:47

Paddington is where the Heathrow express runs from

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 06/05/2018 20:49

You can take the tube to Heathrow mither, you don't need to go via Paddington.

mither · 06/05/2018 20:55

Yes I know, I posted that twice already Confused

Musicaltheatremum · 06/05/2018 20:58

My daughter lives in Acton and had to be at Stansted for 6.15 this morning. She just didn't go to bed and left home at 3.30 she got there for 6! She's 25, I'm sure bil can cope!

DelphiniumBlue · 06/05/2018 21:10

The other thing is, it's his brother. Brothers talk to each other differently from how they speak to their partners, or even friends, so if SO isn't annoyed at his brother speaking to him like that, there's no reason discount be miffed on his account.
The actual issue that you ( quite reasonably) want DP to spend the time with you rather than ferrying his bro around.
What does he want to do? If he doesn't see his brother much he might actually be quite happy to spend the time with him driving him to the airport. I know my sons and dH actually like What they call " boys road trips" and happily do journeys I wouldn't consider - it's their idea of fun bonding times.
I think it's up to your DO to decide what he would rather do, unless you have children that you have to deal with in his absence.