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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think he should sort it out himself?

70 replies

Duck77 · 06/05/2018 20:04

My parents brother is staying with us tonight. He's got an early morning flight tomorrow morning from an airport that 2 hours away from us. There is modified service between kings x and Paddington tomorrow so he can't change there to get to Heathrow.
He just mentioned to my partner that 'it's a road trip for us tomorrow then'
Now you see my partner has been away for 2 weeks with work (got home today) and going away again for a week in Tuesday.

AIBU to think just be a grown mad and sort your own s**t out?

OP posts:

CandleWithHair · 06/05/2018 23:59

Tell him to get an Uber!

Homemenu1 · 07/05/2018 00:13

What does your husband want to do?

thegreatbeyond · 07/05/2018 00:15

I would stay out of it.

Blizzardagain · 07/05/2018 00:21

If you're so concerned about your partner could you not offer to take BIL and let OH have a lie in. Get back in time for brunch together.

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 00:34

My partner doesn't want to do it. He said that, but its brother and he will if it comes down to that.
I don't really feel comfortable driving him as

I don't mind him but I have NOTHING in common with him and it would be awkward for 2 hours
He won't pay for petrol-I can guarantee that and I am a bit tight on money right now so rather not waste £30-40 on taking him
Selfishly I think it's bloody bank holiday tomorrow and I want to enjoy the nice weather and a lie in
I don't see what his problem is with public transport as clearly he could take an hour train ride to kings x and then take Piccadilly line which Is another hour so just suck it up and be an adult and do that

OP posts:

K80E · 07/05/2018 00:35

Your DP sounds exactly like my DP! They can't say no to anybody and will definitely not accept money at all! It gets annoying for us, especially when you have a joint bank account & they don't accept petrol money so it ends up costing us!

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 00:48

I'm so sad tho, it's his brother and I feel like both him and his sister been taking advantage of my partner. And on top of that I had to listen to him today how he ('Bil') earns a shed lod of money.

OP posts:

Namesallgone18 · 07/05/2018 00:53

Why does your partner work such long days and long weeks? Why isn't he entitled to time off each week? Or is he self employed and choosing to do those hours? I dont think an employer could make him.

Ariela · 07/05/2018 00:56

....he does 12-14 hour days when he is away and for his sake I wish he could have a lie in tomorrow.

So let him lie in and take BIL yourself.

a) it'll give your OH a lie in
b) it'll indicate strongly to BIL what a presumptious chap he is

Failing that surely BIL can just pay for a taxi?

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 00:59

He works in motorsport as an performance engineer. It's race season. 6-12-24 hour races plus the prep before and debrief after. He kinda can't say to the driver on the radio 'F*ck you I've been working for so many hours so I'm off'

OP posts:

SapphireSeptember · 07/05/2018 01:03

BIL sounds like a dick, there were Tube closures last bank holiday weekend when I was in London and I managed to get around (and I'm not a local, I dunno what I'm doing half the time! I normally get lost.) Oh, and he's a high earner who likes to brag about it and who's too tight to pay his own way, fabulous! (Not!)

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 01:08

I know, I really wanted to like him but I am just more and more put off by his actions. So inconsiderate! Bragging about his salary was so annoying like honestly who does that?! My partner does alright in that area and never ever heard him mention anything about it to anyone before!

OP posts:

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 07/05/2018 02:39

DH just visited his brother in the UK and wouldn't dream of assuming he would be driven to/from the airport when there's perfectly good public transport available.

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 07:01

Honestly I think he was taking the piss. According to my partner he didn't want to go on public transport because of his luggage (1 big suitcase and a backpack)

Whatever I woke up early this morning to say goodbye to him and my partner just dropping him off at the train station. Bless him he is completely wrecked! My 'bil' left his rubbish in the room he stayed slept last night and didn't make the bed. I just think hes an ass now and having slept on it now I definitely am sure he had been off his head thinking my partner should drop him off at the airport. So whatever the other mnter said about being dropped off at the airport by siblings etc and think it's fine, well... think again... is it fine, have you asked because I think there are senerios when it's definitely not fine. People got to start behaving like adults and stop being inconsiderate!

OP posts:

aladyofindeterminateage · 07/05/2018 07:08

We always do Uber to convenient station on Piccadilly line then straight into Heathrow. It is by far the most efficient way. We tend to head out to Oakwood because it has a lift and you are guaranteed a seat and room for luggage.

Charley50 · 07/05/2018 10:03

I'm with you Duck77. I don't expect lifts to the airport and I don't generally offer them, especially for healthy, not elderly adults on a good salary.

Charley50 · 07/05/2018 10:04

Especially to Heathrow, so easy to get to by tune.

Charley50 · 07/05/2018 10:20

Tube even!

StickyProblem · 07/05/2018 10:33

I never understand these people who think the only way to get to an airport is to be driven by a friend or family member. There are so many on MN.
Public transport, uber, taxis! YANBU.

Original poster

Duck77 · 07/05/2018 12:05

I'm just going to let this go now. Just so annoying that because we don't have kids (partner s siblings have children) everyone thinks we are super flexible and should work around them. Honestly so many times his sister for example told him when she and her family was coming to his SUPRISE 30th party organised by me. Why?! Why did she do that? Well she did that because she wanted him to pick them up from the airport. And honestly there has been so many other occasions ...

OP posts:

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