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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Finally admitted it

78 replies

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 19:23

So I posted about my fudgeing son the other day who has a issue at work

And after days of teasing it out of him he has admitted he was involved 🤬

He said he had allowed the person in question to use the vouchers at his till not knowingly at first but then knowingly

He said he never had the voucher himself

Just glad he finally came clean

One of the other boys their are 11 of them all in the frame for this had his meeting yesterday confessed all and is having dissapliry on Friday to be sacked no dobut

My son is already appyfor another job and hopefully he has learned his chuffing lesson I told him sometimes you need to have courage enough to stand up for your future

Why would he allow someone to commit fraud with no gain to himself guess he thought no one would care 🤭🙄 and going along with the others

OP posts:
Original poster
Metoodear · 06/05/2018 21:32

slippynips He said he paid for them out of his wage

We have been questioning him for days and we have only got as for as we have got

Like I said I can’t stand the sight of him at the moment

OP posts:
slippynips · 06/05/2018 21:46

I don’t doubt you are furious, and I don’t think you’re condoning this. Just wondered if he had a very logical answer for this. Seems odd to buy gift cards for yourself though. Time will tell I suppose, depending on if his employer Perseus this or not

Ki0612 · 06/05/2018 21:58

Ye I don't think he's telling you the whole truth. You wouldn't buy yourself gift cards. Hopefully he won't get prosecuted but as there are so many involved it is likely. He definitely shouldn't put this place of work on his cv though even if he has no other experience or place of employment. He won't have gaps as it'll say he was at college.

JustHereForThePooStories · 06/05/2018 22:13

He said he paid for them out of his wage

Do you believe him?

Original poster
Metoodear · 06/05/2018 22:17

slippynips I agree that’s what sent my mummy antlers tingling in the first place the vouchers i think will remain a mystery

OP posts:
Original poster
Metoodear · 06/05/2018 22:21

He says he lost his bank card again and wanted to go pictures

But he has online banking so not sure why didn’t transfer money to his mate and get them to draw the money out who the fudge knows

OP posts:
slippynips · 06/05/2018 22:31

What a shitty situation for you. Just know that this is no reflection on you as a parent. He has made his own decisions and now must face the consequences. It is nice to see a parent on Mumsnet not making excuses for their child for once!

JustHereForThePooStories · 06/05/2018 22:31

Why won’t you say “fuck”?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/05/2018 22:33

If he had no bank card, how did he buy a cinema voucher? You can pay with apple pay at the cinema no need for a voucher.

lhastingsmua · 06/05/2018 22:36

I remember your previous thread. It’s good that he’s finally starting to be truthful. Unfortunately I’m sure this will be considered gross misconduct, as you said he knowingly served his pal with the dodgy vouchers and essentially defrauded his employer. As I said before they’ll have all his till records and will already know the extent of how many fraudulent transactions were carried out so it is best he resigns. As you say, he has lost his integrity at work and it won’t be the same after this if they do keep him on as the trust has been broken.

I used to be a team leader/supervisor in retail whilst at uni and was in charge of recruitment - it’s honestly not that hard to land another retail job so he hasn’t ruined his life. If retail is not for him he could try a cinema, restaurant, bar etc.

InsomniacAnonymous · 06/05/2018 22:59

WishTheGroundWouldSwallowMeUp "could someone link to the other thread, or please explain what metoodear DS has done?"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3240423-To-be-so-very-disappointed-in-my-dd-18

SandyY2K · 07/05/2018 01:22

Best action as has been said is to resign with immediate notice.

If they don't involve the police, then it won't have to follow him around.

He's best not mentioning he worked there when applying for future roles, because he won't (is unlikely) to get a job with the reference he'll get.

clockworklime · 07/05/2018 06:04

Well fudge me

AnnieAnoniMouser · 07/05/2018 06:45

He said he paid for them out of his wage

...and I’m the Queen of Sheba.

Stop letting him make a mug of you, tell him you don’t believe that. Tell him he has one chance to tell you the truth or you’ll be taking the vouchers into his place of work to ask about them.

You need to stop helping him get out of this with ‘less shit on his face’ and make him face up to the whole truth, else he’s going to think he’s got away with this & no reason not to do similar again.

Original poster
Metoodear · 07/05/2018 07:57

AnnieAnoniMouser Sorry your being extra harsh because you don’t like what my son has done

At no point have I condoned or excused my sons actions he’s not mugging me of as I have clearly stated I didn’t believe him from the off and felt he was completely envolved just couldn’t prove it

Re the voucher cards I found in his room he tells me he brought them I don’t believe him not much else I can do he’s finally be honest about the till scam they all been involved in but won’t guess up about anything else
We had words with him and this hasn’t been a pleasant bank holiday
Would you have me whip him until he talks

He’s my son and we all have to live here and he needs to be honest however he will need to move on and not let disrupt his whole life he has exams he need to go in on Friday confess all at his meeting then resign and the. Move on

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouser · 07/05/2018 08:55

I’m not being extra harsh.

Of course I don’t ‘like’ what he’s done. He’s stolen, lied & been part of others scamming the supermarket. What’s to ‘like’ about that?

However, my point to you was that he needs to realise you are not stupid and he needs to learn a lesson, not have your help minimising what he has done.

So over the last couple of weeks I noticed he had a lot of vouchers in his room the type people buy for birthday gifts when I asked he said his mate gave it to him bank However something didn’t sit right went a snooping and I found about £60 worth of different vouchers food and can ones

He is making you out to be a mug because as far as he’s concerned you believe that he bought them.

There is more you can do. You can tell him either he tell you the truth, right now, about the vouchers or you will take them into the supermarket for them to look into how they were purchased.

He will not ‘confess all’ he will admit what they can currently prove and think he’s got away with the rest...time will tell.

You’re shoving this under the rug and it will not help your son in the future.

Original poster
Metoodear · 07/05/2018 09:10

I don’t believe he brought them
I said on here and to him I don’t but once you tell someone you think their lying
And they say they are not without concert proof not much else you can do lest I whip him till he confess of course

He would only be making a mug as you put it if I believed him

OP posts:
Original poster
Metoodear · 07/05/2018 09:12

I don’t have the actual vouchers I found the card surrounds they come one they come in little gift cards packets

Just not sure how I am shoving this under the rug to be honest

OP posts:
NorthernKnickers · 07/05/2018 09:24

Oh for the love of god PLEASE JUST SAY FUCK!! Or at least STOP saying 'fudge'! We are all adults on here! It's not a nursery!! Fuck fuck fuck! See? It's easy! Also SHIT...who says 'poo on his face'? It's SHIT!!! Jesus! If you can't bring yourself to use grown up expletives in a grown up environment, then leave out the Play School versions altogether...it's quite frankly bizarre to read (as already pointed out MANY times in this thread!)

Queenio24 · 07/05/2018 09:38

IF those vouchers are stolen, you'd better tell him not to try and use them, as he would then be on cctv benefitting from stolen goods.
He'll be lucky to get away with just resigning without the Police being involved IMO due to the scale of it (11people).
What a nightmare for you OP.
P.s you are allowed to swear on mumsnet Grin

Original poster
Metoodear · 07/05/2018 09:38

NorthernKnickers😶

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/05/2018 09:44

I don't think you are going to get anywhere by questioning him more OP. He is clearly saying the very minimum he can get away with. I do not believe there is 10 others involved in this, that's just ridiculous. I also do not believe any meetings would be so spread out enabling the ones at the end of the week to prepare their defence based on what those whose meetings took place at the start of the week said. As has already been said his bosses will have all the necessary evidence, they will have been watching him for some time.

SandyY2K · 07/05/2018 11:36

NorthernKnickers

Everyone has a choice to whether to swear or not. You may choose to use expletives ... but you can't force others too. If they wish to say 'fudge' ...so be it.

Because one is an adult does not mean swearing is a must.

DontHaveAGoPlease · 07/05/2018 12:04

Absolute crap this will follow him round!!

He's young enough (by the sounds of it) to never have to admit he ever worked there.

If I was him, I'd resign, get another job & be done with it.

In regards to references, I left a job on very bad circumstances (them, not
me), their reference looked like this

"Don't worked for xxx from xxx to xxx

Kind Regards CF's who took the piss out of her"

IRefuseToAgree · 07/05/2018 12:23

OP,

I think you are handling this as well as can be expected. He has been a complete idiot but it’s not something that should shape his life forevermore. Hopefully he will learn from it.

BTW please continue to use fudge if you want. There is nothing wrong with it. Posters are being childish and clique’y to find it irritating. I’d tell them to fudge off if I were you.

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