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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Finally admitted it

78 replies

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 19:23

So I posted about my fudgeing son the other day who has a issue at work

And after days of teasing it out of him he has admitted he was involved 🤬

He said he had allowed the person in question to use the vouchers at his till not knowingly at first but then knowingly

He said he never had the voucher himself

Just glad he finally came clean

One of the other boys their are 11 of them all in the frame for this had his meeting yesterday confessed all and is having dissapliry on Friday to be sacked no dobut

My son is already appyfor another job and hopefully he has learned his chuffing lesson I told him sometimes you need to have courage enough to stand up for your future

Why would he allow someone to commit fraud with no gain to himself guess he thought no one would care 🤭🙄 and going along with the others

OP posts:
slippynips · 06/05/2018 20:08

But what about all the gift cards you found in his room? How did he explain that?

MrMeSeeks · 06/05/2018 20:10

What about the vouchers in his room?
‘Proper jobs’ Confused
He had a ‘proper job’.

Penfold007 · 06/05/2018 20:12

He's not a teen, he's an adult who has admitted to theft and fraud. I'm so very sorry you are going through this.

Mightymucks · 06/05/2018 20:12

Yeah, he’s been stupid. As long as they don’t involve police this shouldn’t affect him long term or need to be put on CVs etc.

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:13

@gobbynorthernbird. Can I just say please don’t make out like I condone exuse his behaviour I am appalled and so shocked and disappointed in him and at no point in this or the other thread have I tried to cover up or condone his actions

I have ranted for days at him now to focus on how he can come out of this with the least about of poo on his face and get another job and not let this him loose focus on his course at college

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Raggs · 06/05/2018 20:18

Are you not worried about revealing identifying details before his disciplinary?

And please for the love of God say fuck instead of fudge. The intent is the same so if you don't want to even imply fuck don't say fudge

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:21

Nope because if he’s telling the truth then their should be nothing to worry about if he’s lying

Then he deserves everything he gets and if he’s only going to tell them what he’s told me then I can’t see the issue

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/05/2018 20:22

I have ranted for days at him now to focus on how he can come out of this with the least about of poo on his face and get another job and not let this him loose focus on his course at college

It won't be a question of how can he get a lesser punishment. Most reasonably large and well known firms have a policy they have to follow. They do not change the rules to suit themselves. If their policy is to prosecute in all cases thats what they will do. Also I believe an employer can refuse a resignation if the employee is under suspension.

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:24

And he’s is handing his notice in he came to the conclusion that
A- everyone would no what he did even if he did even if he did live one to work another day

B- no one would trust him

C- if he was late or anything happened his till was down he wouldn’t be believed

D- and know one would want to work with his lest being tainted

And tbh I think he is correct

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Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:26

sweeneytoddsrazor
I meant in terms of moving on he’s admitted some guilt to a point
So best tell the truth to them resign and start a new with more fudging humanity and less cocky cockral

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Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:26

Ment humility lol

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/05/2018 20:28

I think by handing in his notice with the reasons he has given you, and claiming all these others are involved, is quite simply his way of deflecting you from what he has really done.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 06/05/2018 20:31

Unfortunately just turned 18 and still at college is still an adult. Some companies will have a policy of prosecuting and won't just stop the investigation because he quit. I hope for your sons sake that's not the case but he needs to be prepared for the fact that resigning may not be the end of it.

Lougle · 06/05/2018 20:31

He is right. FWIW I think it's the wrong thing to do to drop it from his CV. Most job applications ask for your last employer. Your DS is guilty in some way (yet to be clarify) of a crime of deception/fraud. It is totally inappropriate to try and move forward by starting out with another act of deception. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, he would have to face many rejections and he would not get a job where money handling is involved, but to know that he got a job where he deserves the position, having faced his situation, admitted his crime and told his recruiter what he learned from his situation, would be a far better rehabilitation for him.

Don't give him the message that the way out of this mess is to tell yet more lies and cover up his mistakes. Make him face the difficulties it brings. Let him learn the lesson and hope that he never repeats it.

Raggs · 06/05/2018 20:35

FUCKING you mean fucking when you say fudging do you not? So just say what you mean.

I'm leaving now in a dramatic fashion.....

All the best to your boy though.

OliviaStabler · 06/05/2018 20:35

I have ranted for days at him now to focus on how he can come out of this with the least about of poo on his face

He can't have less poo. He needs to resign immediately and never refer to this job on his CV. It will say 'Resigned while under investigation' and no potential employer wants to see that.

I hope he learns his lesson and never does anything like this again.

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:36

sweeneytoddsrazor
I have no clue he could be lying again could not be however I have no way of knowing the very small details weather he his involved alone or it’s 100 I am disappointed in HIM and it doesn’t make it better or ok that their are others

Tbh I am sick of the sight of him at the moment but he has exams and I don’t want him to fail his course as well otherwise this really will be a disaster

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Mightymucks · 06/05/2018 20:40

He is right. FWIW I think it's the wrong thing to do to drop it from his CV. Most job applications ask for your last employer. Your DS is guilty in some way (yet to be clarify) of a crime of deception/fraud. It is totally inappropriate to try and move forward by starting out with another act of deception. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, he would have to face many rejections and he would not get a job where money handling is involved, but to know that he got a job where he deserves the position, having faced his situation, admitted his crime and told his recruiter what he learned from his situation, would be a far better rehabilitation for him.

That is an absolute pile of shit. He’s a teenager at college and it’s perfectly acceptable for him to leave a Saturday job off his CV. It doesn’t matter how many excuses he makes, he won’t get a job if he tells them.

LOADS of people who go on to be perfectly respectable and have great careers will have the odd skeleton in their closet about a Saturday job when they were at school. It’s really not worth him telling them.

Lougle · 06/05/2018 20:44

He's an adult. Who committed a crime. Who needs to accept that responsibility so that he can move on with his life. And when he's done that, and had two more jobs, and the form says "List your last two employers", he won't have to any more, but he will have been honest, which is what he needs to learn to be.

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:45

@Mightymucks agreed he’s had his telling off
He feels like a twit everyone has had a go at him he’s leaving a job he quite likes

But this shouldn’t mar his whole life hopefully this will be something he learns from and it’s better he made the mistake now when people feel that’s it’s more the folly of youth

Rather than him being 25 or something the young make mistakes

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Laine21 · 06/05/2018 20:52

As there were so many of them involved, don't be surprised if the company decides to prosecute all of them. And don't be surprised if one or more of the guilty party offers up the any of others including your ds, as ring leaders, happens more than you would imagine.

Metoodear · 06/05/2018 20:54

I did say this to him he needs to tell all and name names

And that if the police are not called he should play the lotto because he will be very very lucky

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sobeyondthehills · 06/05/2018 21:14

If he does hand in his notice, they can refuse and continue on with the disciplinary without him, it will take slightly longer though, as they have to give him a chance to come in, if he doesn't then they will rearrange it for another day, so there is a chance of him extending it for a week, rather than just get it over with

Stopyourhavering64 · 06/05/2018 21:18

Hope he's learnt his lesson from this fraudulent episode and can move forward, he's obviously easily led

slippynips · 06/05/2018 21:29

OP are you not going to answer the question about the vouchers/gift cards in his room? What was his reasoning for it? Are you sure he isn’t more involved than he’s letting on?