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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think it is unreasonable for a boss to ask his Secretary to make a cup of tea?

234 replies

Pepperypig · 06/05/2018 12:42

My boss asked his Secretary to do this for him and a client the other day. It used to be commonplace but I would have thought that it wasn't part of her duties?

OP posts:
DontDrinkDontSmoke · 06/05/2018 13:35

Having seen what a colleague did to her boss’s coffee, I never accept drinks made by someone else in the workplace.

DrEustaciaBenson · 06/05/2018 13:38

And I agree you don't wander off leaving a visitor unattended in a building it's both rude and a security risk.

And you're wasting their time, as well. They've come for a meeting, not to sit around waiting while someone faffs around getting tea and coffee. I'd be quite annoyed at having my time wasted, if I was the visitor.

Not sure about getting the receptionist to do it, either. Who's looking after reception while s/he is in the kitchen?

happypoobum · 06/05/2018 13:39

YABU

My assistant would offer to do this without me even asking. It's a bit odd to welcome a guest and then leave them alone whilst you go off to the kitchen to make tea, and even worse if they thought they would come along with you.

It just seems more professional that I sit and settle the client in whilst assistant makes the drinks. Gender would be irrelevant.

When clients are not around I am quite happy to make tea for anyone Grin

mindutopia · 06/05/2018 13:39

I think if you’re responsible for supporting someone in an admin role, yes, it’s your job to sort food and drinks sometimes. I’m a research assistant with a PhD and I sometimes make tea for my line manager or visiting colleagues because pa type duties fall within my job responsibilities. When it isn’t appropriate is when it’s expected of someone who doesn’t serve in a pa capacity just because they are a woman. A man in my role would equally be expected to sort lunch and drinks. I would never expect that of an equal though (and to be fair, I don’t ask that of my own admin staff, just because I prefer to do things myself).

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/05/2018 13:41

Part of their job. Surely?

FASH84 · 06/05/2018 13:43

PAs do for meetings where I work but other than that everyone has their 'round' , egg 'my tube does anyone want a cuppa?' that offer extends to admin in the vicinity, tend to make it for own team due to huge size of open plan office and the time it would take to make 50-60 teas

NataliaOsipova · 06/05/2018 13:44

I think it's the client that makes the difference! He asked her to make tea for the purpose of facilitating that meeting - so that's a reasonable request. It wouldn't, however, be reasonable to ask her to go out on a regular basis to fetch him a coffee from Pret, or to make his tea in the office as that's a personal favour and isn't part of her job.

FASH84 · 06/05/2018 13:44

So many typos eg. And 'my round does anyone....'

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 06/05/2018 13:45

I think secretary is a very old fashioned job title - I haven’t heard it for years. It’s not very PC.

I’m mixed about this- I think EAs do different types of jobs but I don’t think arranging/ making tea for visitors is too much of a big deal- the EA is the person I’d expect to collect the visitor, take them to the meeting room then offer as part of that experience. If the EA is senior they might then turn the actual tea making over to an office junior or receptionist

I have a lot of respect for my executive director who not only insists on making his own tea but offers to make it for anyone internal he’s meeting. Really gives the impression he’s respectful and inclusive, which he is. However his EA would still provide refreshments for an external meeting.

Musicaltheatremum · 06/05/2018 13:50

@Rachie1973 that's rude of them. I'm a GP my staff make tea in the morning for everyone. Occasionally if we are really busy we will ask someone to make us some more but always with a "please" and thank you. Good manners cost nothing! My reception staff are very important to me. 😀

GrouchyKiwi · 06/05/2018 13:58

I was perfectly happy to get cups of tea etc for my boss when I was a PA. I didn't have to do it often, though, because other members of the team used to regularly get rounds of tea/coffee and would always get boss's and mine to keep me sweet for when they needed urgent meetings with boss or my help. Wink

Doyoumind · 06/05/2018 14:06

I agree with PPs that it's standard. Juniors (male or female) might be expected to make drinks for their boss (male or female) and guests who are in a meeting. Who else would make the drinks? The boss, leaving their guest waiting alone? It's part of the job.

MrsSchadenfreude · 06/05/2018 14:12

I'd expect PAs to do this for a meeting but not just to make the boss a cup of tea. I've always found that female PAs will happily make tea for a male boss and his meeting, but not for a female boss - there is a marked reluctance, almost as if they expect me to make my own tea for my visitors because I have a vagina. My last PA was a man - he was brilliant - no worries about making tea for anyone on the team, unlike his mardy cow of a predecessor, who said loudly "I didn't get my first class honours degree from a Russell Group university to make tea or do your filing." Not sure which bit of the "assistant" role she didn't quite get...

Rachie1973 · 06/05/2018 14:15

Musicaltheatremum
@Rachie1973 that's rude of them. I'm a GP my staff make tea in the morning for everyone. Occasionally if we are really busy we will ask someone to make us some more but always with a "please" and thank you. Good manners cost nothing! My reception staff are very important to me

:) I didn't think everyone could be like him!

I genuinely don't mind making it, just like being asked politely lol.

I'll come make you tea anytime :)

LBOCS2 · 06/05/2018 14:16

Oh, agreed @FASH84. We do a general shout out to see if anyone in the vicinity wants one. In fact, only one of the three assistants in my area drinks hot drinks so they're automatically exempt from those rounds.

LightDrizzle · 06/05/2018 14:21

It should be named in the job description. It’s in the job description of our admin apprentices and some admin staff (there are no secretaries) other staff also make drinks for others on an ad hoc basis. Our most recent apprentice was very relieved to be offered a permanent job just before his brother started, in another more senior permanent job, as he wasn’t looking forward to having to make his older brother tea! It’s not part of his new job description.
It makes sense for the lowest skilled employees to make tea, rather than someone on £200 an hour, however a trained secretary may not be the least skilled person in an organisation.

Confusssed · 06/05/2018 14:23

The junior members of our team make/fetch the coffees. Doesn't matter if they're male or female. My DH is a consultant engineer and his time costs out at approx £200 an hour. His bosses would take a dim view of him spending his valuable time making a brew when an office junior on £9 an hour is available.

ChasedByBees · 06/05/2018 14:27

If the boss is busy then I think this is normal. That applies on any gender combination in this scenario.

Sturmundcalm · 06/05/2018 14:27

my "secretary" has a variety of titles (she is pretty senior and has a managerial role in addition to her support for me role) none of which are secretary! and she always offers tea/coffee to visitors.

she insists on offering to make me hot drinks throughout the day - which i normally refuse as i prefer to get up off my arse at least occasionally but i do sometimes let her as i'm literally going from one meeting straight to the next and barely have time to pee let alone make myself cups of tea...

Kelsoooo · 06/05/2018 14:29

Sometimes, what people choose to worry about bamboozles me.

I have never considered making my superiors a drink, demeaning. At team meetings, we all just offer.

In more typical settings, again; it’s never crossed my mind as being an issue.

Just asked DH who works in an engineering firm, and has women of all levels in the office, from 17yr old admin apprentices to 50 year old female engineers etc...
He’s just confirmed they all make tea and coffee for everyone.

But like a PP, I do not like the “that’s not in my job description” people.

Muck in or fuck off is my mantra,

Loandbeholdagain · 06/05/2018 14:29

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. If I had a male secretary I’d ask him to make me tea. To be honest I would think a good secretary would make tea on a busy day as a matter of course.

Lougle · 06/05/2018 14:41

I'm a nurse. I'll offer to make tea for those around me. I'll happily make tea if asked, without feeling demeaned. It's tea, it doesn't denote status. At all.

SilverySurfer · 06/05/2018 14:42

So if the boss didn't ask the secretary who should he have asked? Or are you suggesting the boss leave the meeting to make it himself which frankly would be ridiculous.

Grilledaubergines · 06/05/2018 15:18

I wouldn’t hesitate to make tea for my boss and vice verse. Or anyone in the office when I put the kettle on.

Aria2015 · 06/05/2018 15:22

Hmm not that unreasonable. I mean he could do it himself but it saves a bit of time if someone else does it. If I do training with people I'll often ask colleagues in my team to help out and get cups of tea because I can spend time getting to know trainees whilst it's been done. I assume he uses this little bit of extra time to kick start the meeting?