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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think it is unreasonable for a boss to ask his Secretary to make a cup of tea?

234 replies

Pepperypig · 06/05/2018 12:42

My boss asked his Secretary to do this for him and a client the other day. It used to be commonplace but I would have thought that it wasn't part of her duties?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 10/05/2018 23:07

@NewYorkHereICome. Yep. Mind completely blown Grin

Newyorkhereicome · 10/05/2018 23:18

@doyoumind as I explained below refreshments are ordered via IPAD and delivered by catering staff. This is not a all unusual in large corporates

LittleBearPad · 10/05/2018 23:27

It's also upset me that today is my BILs birthday and this assistant really dropped the ball. My BIL passed away in Feb and my SIL is in hospital. It's a very tough day for her. Of course this assistant thinks that DH should be sending flowers to his sister himself or that I should be doing it

Well one of you should. Just because the previous PA didn’t have her own life doesn’t mean this one is your lackey.

Your husband can ask for his paperwork to be couriered home.

Your expectations are unrealistic.

LittleBearPad · 10/05/2018 23:29

Do no offices have one of those machines where you can make your own drinks?

Yes the drinks are foul.

Doyoumind · 10/05/2018 23:34

No, Newyork it's not in large corporates, but that resource doesn't exist in many offices, and the point is that someone other than 'the boss' is making the tea for meetings. You are only confirming it's not uncommon for the boss not to be making his own tea for meetings.

Practically no one has said bosses make drinks for meetings, therefore confirming the boss discussed in the OP WNBU.

expatinscotland · 10/05/2018 23:36

'Of course this assistant thinks that DH should be sending flowers to his sister himself or that I should be doing it. '

How on Earth is she supposed to know his sister is in hospital and to send flowers? It sounds like your h takes zero responsibility for himself outside of work because he's enabled by women. I was a PA and very good at my job, but I certainly didn't pry into the minutiae of my boss's private life and I couldn't read her mind. He's been terribly spoilt by a woman who seems to have had no personal life at all and you. And being such a bigshot I'm amazed the company doesn't outsource travel entirely.

Brokenbiscuit · 10/05/2018 23:49

Of course this assistant thinks that DH should be sending flowers to his sister himself or that I should be doing it.

Well, in that case, I would agree with the assistant. Surely sending flowers to his sister would be an utterly meaningless gesture if there is no thought or effort required from you or your DH? I would not want to receive a gift from a sibling's PA! How very impersonal!

Your DH sounds like a rather incapable manchild who thinks he is far too busy and important to do anything for himself. How unattractive!

TroubledLichen · 11/05/2018 00:20

Want2b I think some of the posts here are on the harsh side, it’s clearly been a tough time for your family and a PA that is messing up basic stuff like travel isn’t helping. However, with your DH travelling a lot and you running a business, working full time and looking after the kids it sounds like you need a personal PA to work for your household and take the family admin off your plate. In this day and age it’s probably not realistic to expect someone employed by his firm to send flowers to the SIL. All of my bosses have had a private PA at home in addition to me (the work EA). They were paid more than enough money to afford this and it definitely made their lives easier, especially for their partners.

Want2bSupermum · 11/05/2018 03:19

troubled We have a personal PA (DHs retired assistant) who takes care of our medical admin (2 of our 3DC have autism so on average we have about 8 therapy and doctor appointments each week) and personal taxes. That alone takes her 20 hours a week.

The travel part is on his work assistant. The corporate travel group operate in HQ and the out of hours service is awful. They often can't sort DHs flights out. Given how much DH flies he has a leased private plane for when it gets really crazy. HQ are ok with this but have said it's up to his assistant to manage. I'm the one who manages it most of the time at this point and I'm really not comfortable being the point person because the plane is only used for work purposes when commercial flights don't work. I think my involvement gives the impression it's not a work related expense.

Tonight I booked my flights to go back next month and it took me 3 hours to get everything booked including cars, drivers, flights and making sure mileage is being collected.

Broken DH is very capable. He is managing $300 million in sales and it's a lot. He has a team of two sales managers who help him manage the customer relationships. He told his assistant his sister is in hospital. He also asked her to take care of getting flowers delivered. He copied in the two assistants in HQ who put the order in and they sent her the link for her to pay. She never paid and luckily one of the HQ assistants has a great relationship with me and sent me the details so I took care of it.

DH also manages his own business on top of this and is the diversity director for the whole company and in charge of strategy for his department on a worldwide basis.

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