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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you think it is unreasonable for a boss to ask his Secretary to make a cup of tea?

234 replies

Pepperypig · 06/05/2018 12:42

My boss asked his Secretary to do this for him and a client the other day. It used to be commonplace but I would have thought that it wasn't part of her duties?

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 07/05/2018 08:09

I do not see my superiors' time at work as more valuable than mine.

Sounds like you are confusing your own ego / self esteem with the requirements of the varying levels of roles in an office.

As some PP have pointed out, an MD will earn far more than a Secretary. A Secretary is employed to support her manager. Therefore it is financially sound for the Secretary to make the refreshments while his / her manager gets on with their meeting and puts their more expensive time to better use.

Newyorkhereicome · 07/05/2018 08:38

I do think tea making can very much depend on the size of the company and where it is based. I have worked for 25 years as a Secretary/PA in the City mainly for large investment banks and have never once made a cup of tea for a boss or a client and I have never been asked to either, if the M.D. I work asked me to I would refuse. I am a very expensive resource and the bank I work for don't actually consider making tea or nipping out for lunches or coffees to be part of my job at all.

However I can understand it may be different in other companies

Polarbearflavour · 07/05/2018 10:44

I used to be a well paid PA in the City. My work certainly wasn’t seen as low skilled by my employers or I would have been earning minimum wage surely.

I would sometimes pop out at lunch to get something for my boss and he would tell me to buy lunch for myself on him. I never actually made tea for him or anybody else!

I moved to the Civil Service as an EA. I did not make tea for my boss, nor did I get his lunch. I’m not sure tax payers would approve of that!

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 07/05/2018 12:49

I'm not a shitty employee.

I'm lucky enough to have found work in an organisation that is actually quite hierarchical, but also has clearly defined roles for everyone. We're all part of an organism and if you took any of us out, it would fall apart. This suits me better than jobs I have had before and I am grateful for that.

And I like my boss.

bananafish81 · 07/05/2018 12:55

None of the C-suite at the companies I've worked for have asked their EAs to go out and get them lunch

But most assistants would think it pretty standard offer if they saw their diary was back to back and they wouldn't eat anything all day otherwise

They manage their diaries so they would typically ask if they'd like them to pop out and get them something. The EA would have their boss' company card so they wouldn't be out of pocket (or they might take their personal card and use contactless)

TapStepBallChange · 07/05/2018 13:03

I'm a boss (and female), I don't expect my PA to make me a cuppa during the day normally, but they do make drinks for a meeting. To be honest it's a really odd meeting dynamic if your visitors arrive and then you bugger off for 5 minutes to make the tea, and wastes time.

Very occasionally when I'm in back to back meetings all day, I'd ask if they would pick me up a Boots meal deal with they were popping out at lunchtime (and give them the money), it just helps the day work. I'll pic, her up a Costa if I'm getting myself one during the day.

It's just about all helping each other out.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2018 13:11

I loved getting lunches for my boss. Meant I got to leave the office for a bit. Yay! Getting them tea means I could transfer the phone to someone else. Result! Ditto meeting the caterers for a meeting. Any chance to get out of my seat I relished.

pepperpop · 07/05/2018 13:24

I'm a (fairly newly qualified) solicitor. My secretary makes tea for me sometimes if I'm absolutely flat out busy. I make her tea too.

It would be way more inconvenient for our receptionist to do that, we need him to answer the phones and the front door, so I don't really know why people think that's any different to a secretary doing it?

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if any of my bosses asked me to make them tea, although the GP example above is just rude!

I did leave a firm I joined when I first qualified where I was told I was not to make my own tea, I must ask a secretary to make one for me (even though I wasn't busy and the secretaries were drowning in work Hmm). Only stayed 2 months!

user1487194234 · 07/05/2018 22:18

My secretary makes my coffee
It is in her job description

TroubledLichen · 07/05/2018 22:27

Former (but very recent) banking PA here. Totally normal to buy to the boss breakfast/coffee/lunch and he/she would give me their card and expect me to pay for mine too. I would offer when I knew they were busy though, they would never dream of asking. If it was a meeting then I’d order a refreshment tray and a butler would bring it down and clear up afterwards. The only time I ever recall making tea was when I was a junior team assistant, but the entire team through to the MD would take it in turns to do the afternoon tea run.

HateIsNotGood · 07/05/2018 22:44

I have worked as a Tea Lady pushing an Urn and a trolley around to the Office workers twice a day. Do offices still have those now? It was so long ago I doubt there are any Tea Men doing it if its even a job nowadays.

In the 35 years since - doesn't everyone pitch in and make The Tea when its a good time to make it?

OP sounds like a bit of a 'Jobsworth'.

I have never had another job when everyone looked so pleased to see me since I was a Tea Lady [Person}.

blackteasplease · 07/05/2018 22:48

In my office everyone makes their own tea, which is a bit sad in some ways. We have to bring in our own tea bags too because it's the public sector and we aren't allowed nice things!

In my old work the receptionist or admin people (not their title but their title is confusing) would make tea for meetings but never for an individual.

HateIsNotGood · 07/05/2018 22:56

Because its the public sector and we're not allowed nice things

No of course you aren't only because you work in the public sector?!

At least I can now laugh myself to sleep.

Confusssed · 08/05/2018 13:39

Clanger, your time is literally worth a lot less than your boss's. It really is that simple. If you don't understand that then God help you.

Mia1415 · 08/05/2018 13:43

My MD's PA always makes the drinks for him and any customers/ clients. Completely standard.

His drinks throughout the day he makes himself.

gillybeanz · 08/05/2018 13:48

It depends on the role i suppose.
if it's secretary plus making brews / PA stuff, then not out of the question.
I think the boss being the most senior should have others do this when he/she is busy and using time for the company.

TrinaN · 08/05/2018 14:30

Back on work experience in the 1990s, tea time was 11am and I remember having to make a hot drink for everyone in the office and deliver them on a tray (I am clumsy and prone to spilling).

When I was a receptionist/secretary/assistant, I would make the drinks and it was common for a receptionist or junior staff to make drinks for a client meeting.

Now, it would not be unreasonable to ask a junior member of staff to make a drink and it is expected as the senior staff are too busy to make one and have better priorities for their time than waiting for a kettle to boil.

Different secretaries work differently. One in our office makes herself a cup of tea around 10 everyday and just makes and drops off one for her boss on the way past.

I never ask my secretary to make me one because I know she is busy and I like the occasional break. We however tend to drink water and have a bottle on our desks so don't need to go and make one. However, she has been known to make drinks for me and I have been known to make them for her.

If there were male and female secretarial/reception staff and a boss only every asked the female the it is U but as long as it is consistent then I don't think it is U.

thecatsthecats · 08/05/2018 14:57

It genuinely tickles me that some people would not make a brew if it weren't in their job description. Mind you, some employees don't know what's good for them - or the company.

I am a company director, and have had to gently, then firmly, then quite strictly lay down that subordinate employees need to be more proactive about mucking in to make the company work, especially when senior staff are busy. The ones who do - they get noticed for promotion and payrises. The ones that don't - don't.

When I was bottom of the rung it always pleased me to contribute to getting something important done, whether that was making the tea or straightening a spreadsheet out, or getting some numbers.

SenecaFalls · 08/05/2018 16:18

Well, I think there's a difference between sorting out a spreadsheet and making tea for someone who's quite capable of doing it for themselves.

I see no problem with an assistant preparing drinks for a meeting of a superior and another person or persons, but I don't really think it's reasonable to expect support staff to be serving drinks and meals to superiors just because they are superior in rank.

I would not want to work in a culture where fully grown adults are considered too busy and too important to feed themselves.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 08/05/2018 16:20

Standard part of the role, and I say that as a PA for 20-odd years.

OliviaStabler · 08/05/2018 16:33

I would not want to work in a culture where fully grown adults are considered too busy and too important to feed themselves.

This is where you are confusing ego / self esteem with what is important to the business.

TeenTimesTwo · 08/05/2018 16:38

It is not about being 'superior' in rank though, is it?

It is about one person being paid say 150k per year, and another 30k.
It can be more cost effective for the business for the 30k person to make the tea if the 150k person is busy and doesn't want to stop for a break. Their time is literally (and I mean it literally) 'worth' (to the business) 5 times as much.

Drainedandconfused · 08/05/2018 16:47

I always made tea for my boss and I used to make his lunch, collect dry cleaning, shop for his family online at Christmas and birthdays, ordered flowers for his wife and mother, took his car for mot’s, booked restaurant reservations, holidays and loads of other jobs, I didn’t mind at all, he was a truly lovely boss who paid me well and appreciated all the personal running around I did despite it not being in my job description.

Looneytune253 · 08/05/2018 16:59

Depends if he is genuinely just busy and returns the favour now and then.

stickerrocks · 08/05/2018 18:12

It wasn't just a routine for tea though, it was a request to get tea for a client meeting. I really don't see why the OP would consider this to be demeaning, it's pure commercialism.