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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Went on a bizarre date

54 replies

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 11:21

Tinder. He was a bit pissed when I arrived. His friend, who was also on a first date, ended up crashing halfway through with his date and sort of tried it on with me?! The only redeeming feature was the guy paid for it all so I had free drinks at least. I did tell him a lot at the time that it was very weird. He’s been bombarding me with messages trying to apologise for it all and I haven’t replied - do I say anything? I get the impression he was nice but pissed, not sure if I should make my feelings a bit clear. If I’m honest it is insulting to be treated like that.

His message

OP posts:

Original poster

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 11:22

His message “obviously getting drunk before meeting you and then having my friend turn up were both fairly acceptable so I just wanted to apologise”

OP posts:

SoWakeUp · 06/05/2018 11:26

I'm assuming he meant unacceptable?

I don't think I'd bother with him again. He sounds immature, what he did was disrespectful (who needs to get drunk before a date...a first date?!) and I think I'd find him annoying. Bin him off.

NCJaneDoeNut · 06/05/2018 11:27

You dodged a bullet. Walk away.

Original poster

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 11:27

Sorry yeah my typo.

I am binning him off but just wondering whether or not to reply. Third message in a row from him. I have ignored the rest

OP posts:

EleanorHooverbelt · 06/05/2018 11:29

The only redeeming feature was the guy paid for it all so I had free drinks at least

Not sure even free drinks make having to put up with what you have described worth it.

BrightonCalling · 06/05/2018 11:29

Why did you let him pay for it all if he and his mate were twats?

Original poster

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 11:32

He was ok, just pissed. Not horrible, quite funny. The mate was funny too. At that point I was mentally chalking it up to a funny story and just thought I’m going to wait and see what happens. They were also pretty big guys (I didn’t get the feeling they would be aggressive) but we weren’t near a tube and I didn’t want to make up some ridiculous excuse

OP posts:

Foslady · 06/05/2018 11:35

I ended up on one date, started off well, no real spark but was having a good laugh. We met in a really nice pub, then 11ish he suggested we went to a second pub.
Turns out it was a bikers pub 1st stop off the docks.....mind you had great music and I felt as though I fitted in more 😳😂

EleanorHooverbelt · 06/05/2018 11:39

I am binning him off but just wondering whether or not to reply

"Thanks for an interesting evening. I didn't feel we had anything in common though, but I wish you all the best. Goodbye."

Then block.

IronMansIronButt · 06/05/2018 11:40

Oh fgs sake just let him off the hook, he obviously is sorry and is in the horrors. Would it cost you much to says "don't worry about it" and then no more?

rookiemere · 06/05/2018 11:52

He's apologised, you got free drinks, no need to make it into a big drama. If you were that offended you'd have declined the drinks and left at the time.

CocoaGin · 06/05/2018 11:58

I'd just message back saying "I'm actually quite disappointed that you did chose to drink knowing we were meeting, but thank you for an interesting evening and good luck in your search for love". Then block.

ADishBestEatenCold · 06/05/2018 12:18

"If you were that offended you'd have declined the drinks and left at the time."

This ^

Dwellerfromunderthesink · 06/05/2018 12:20

I’d just forget it. Wouldn’t bother with a reply.

BrendasUmbrella · 06/05/2018 12:28

I'd just reply "Ok, no problem" and leave it at that. No big multi sentence replies that will make you seem invested, or offer him opportunities to continue the conversation.

user4314 · 06/05/2018 12:30

Why not just be honest? shocking I know

Thank you for your apologies but to be honest you turning up drunk and then your friend crashing the date has put me off taking this any further.
I don't think we are a match. Good luck in your search. Please don't text me again.

SoapOnARoap · 06/05/2018 12:30

Just ignore him, neither of you are really bothered are you?

SandAndSea · 06/05/2018 12:38

No need to see him again but you could still just reply, "No worries!" and leave it there.

My friend's doing Tinder at the moment. This year she's had a married man (who lied about it), a guy who cried on their first date and at least 2 scammers who've made out they're successful businessmen and love-bombed her, before 'having an emergency' and asking for money.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 06/05/2018 12:43

op, if you like him go for it-at least give it another chance, this could even be a funny story you look back at someday. You have nothing to lose. Do not listen to advise on mn as many of the posters here appear to have ridiculous high standards.

JustHereForThePooStories · 06/05/2018 12:48

I don’t think you can claim the higher moral ground here. You put up with their behaviour last night in return for free drink.

I quite liked his text- at least he had the manners to apologies.

If you do wish to respond, send him something light to assuage his embarrassment, then block and move on with your life.

UpstartCrow · 06/05/2018 12:49

Since I heard of negging, every time I hear about this kind of thing I wonder if it was some kind of bizarre personality test.

Original poster

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 12:49

No I don’t want to meet him again. And to those saying “if you were that offended...” you don’t know me! I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. In an unfamiliar area and just thought wtf so rolled with it. I knew pretty early on that we weren’t going to see each other again so just thought let’s see what happens

OP posts:

donquixotedelamancha · 06/05/2018 12:52

the guy paid for it all so I had free drinks at least

If I’m honest it is insulting to be treated like that.

IronMansIronButt · 06/05/2018 12:52

so you weren't that offended then, if you actively wanted to roll with it and see what happens!
No need for the dramatics, just text back no probs, bye.

Original poster

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 12:53

What? How dare you? I normally always offer to pay but in this scenario I didn’t think I should. It is insulting for him to have treated me like that also, they are separate points.

OP posts:

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