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AIBU?

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Original poster

Went on a bizarre date

54 replies

HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 11:21

Tinder. He was a bit pissed when I arrived. His friend, who was also on a first date, ended up crashing halfway through with his date and sort of tried it on with me?! The only redeeming feature was the guy paid for it all so I had free drinks at least. I did tell him a lot at the time that it was very weird. He’s been bombarding me with messages trying to apologise for it all and I haven’t replied - do I say anything? I get the impression he was nice but pissed, not sure if I should make my feelings a bit clear. If I’m honest it is insulting to be treated like that.

His message

OP posts:
Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 12:54

Ok I’ll say “hey, no worries - hope the head is alright this morning!”

OP posts:
KC225 · 06/05/2018 12:56

It sonds like one of those 'date' stories you can wrack up, so not an entire loss. And even better than a cold boring one. Two men vying for your attention - and you don't mention feeling vulnerable - just bemused.

Just be honest and let him off the hook. But an apology, the laugh - I would give him one more chance.

JustHereForThePooStories · 06/05/2018 12:57

Ok I’ll say “hey, no worries - hope the head is alright this morning!”

That’s encouraging engagement as he’ll text back to tell you how he’s feeling. Just say “no worries”, then send and block.

Unless you want the texts to continue?

IronMansIronButt · 06/05/2018 12:59

How dare you? I normally always offer to pay but in this scenario I didn’t think I should. It is insulting for him to have treated me like that also, they are separate points

They aren't separate points. Yes he turned up drunk to meet you, but you stayed anyway, so if it was insulting you were willingly insulted. And if you normally don't accept men buying you drinks but you were happily funded here by someone pissed, thats what I call taking advantage of the situation!

donquixotedelamancha · 06/05/2018 13:02

I knew pretty early on that we weren’t going to see each other again.....
.... but still let him pay.

What? How dare you?...It is insulting for him to have treated me like that

Biscuits, dates embarrassing themselves; your threshold for offence is quite low.

He hasn't insulted you, he just royally screwed the date up- probably through nerves, but some people are just plonkers. The right thing would be to send a polite response to his many apologies- but I agree with PPs, make clear that you do not want further contact.

user4314 · 06/05/2018 13:03

Ok I’ll say “hey, no worries - hope the head is alright this morning!”

NO. Don't say that. It's open, forgiving and will encourage more contact.

See my PP above ^^.

Be honest. Accept his apology but make clear because of his behaviour you aren't interested in seeing him again and wish him well in future.

Clean, clear and holding no grudges.

Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 13:04

I sent it. I was nice, as encouraged by the other posters above. I will leave it after this and block

OP posts:
JaiPo · 06/05/2018 13:09

Maybe he was very nervous.

If it hadn't been for his friend trying it on with you Shock I'd nearly overlook it enough to just ask if he needs to be drunk to talk to strangers? It is nerve racking. Or can be.

His friend thinking you might be up for it is a bit disturbing though, people are to a certain extent similar to their friends. It's not his fault his friend tried it on with you but it would show a certain attitude towards women imo. Can be bought, interchangeable....

I'd be polite, but not follow it up.

Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 13:16

Ok trying it on maybe makes more of it than what it was. His friend made a joke about her their mutual friend had implied he would. And then was asking lots of questions and being quite touchy.

OP posts:
Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 13:16

Yes I’m not following it up.

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x2boys · 06/05/2018 13:19

meh I had a lot of bad first dates back In the day , just put it down to experience it didnt work out no need to make him feel any worse.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/05/2018 13:22

Well if you sent your message, the bloke is certainly going to be confused. He sounds like a bit of a Pratt but probably a harmless one, who was nervous and had too much to drink. The kind thing would have been to bin him off properly.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/05/2018 13:25

Just say, "don't worry, I don't want to meet again", that's it.

RoseWhiteTips · 06/05/2018 13:34

WhyBiscuit?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/05/2018 14:11

You asked him a question and now you are going to block. You don’t sound odd at all... yay for those free drinks though, I guess.

Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 14:13

I didn’t ask him a question.

OP posts:
Angrybird345 · 06/05/2018 14:14

Aside from his drunkenness, if there was an attraction to him from you I’d give him a second chance.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/05/2018 14:16

Fair enough, not a question then but you’ve left it very open for expecting a response with regards to his head. I’d be very confused getting that text and then being blocked.

Returnofthesmileybar · 06/05/2018 14:29

Am I the only one that would give him another shot? First dates are nerve racking, you said he was funny, you had a good laugh, he was generous and he text the next day to apologise and admit the date could have gone better. I quite like him Grin.

I think if someone posted here "Haven't been on a date in years so met a friend first for a glass of wine to calm my nerves, had one too many in hindsight, but met my date, had a good laugh, a friend came over in the middle and we all had a laugh together, but I feel awful I was quite tipsy and my friend turning up on a first date" - I guarantee people would tell you text him and not be too hard on yourself

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/05/2018 15:01

Returnofthesmileybar I agree and I would go for another date.

EleanorHooverbelt · 06/05/2018 15:13

In an unfamiliar area and just thought wtf so rolled with it

Safety tip: In an unfamiliar area, it would be better to refrain from drinking (even for free) instead of "rolling with it".

x2boys · 06/05/2018 15:18

I would if there was attraction Return, dh was a drunken one night stand ,13 years later and two children here we are .

Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 15:21

There wasn’t really attraction on my side. I’ve deleted and not heard anything which is for the best, all very strange.

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 06/05/2018 15:22

How could you have heard anything I’d youve blocked him?

Original poster
HumourIsHere · 06/05/2018 15:27

I haven’t, i was debating but have left it

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