AIBU to have a party with no food

[legoqueen]

Landmark birthday & have around 70 people invited to an evening in a pub. Starting at 8pm, DH & I have decided to provide some drinks & nibbles but no 'buffet', mainly due to logistics not cost. Another friend did this & with the late start it worked fine, but one guest has expressed horror surprise at this - views please.

It just looks tight arse in your behalf.

YABU

Who is paying for the drinks?

You could just call it 'drinks'.

I've been to two 'pub parties' without in house catering on site - one brought their own buffet - similar as been suggested - cheese board, breads cold meats and nibbles and the other arranged for 20 dominoes pizzas to be delivered to the pub. 1st party had about 30 guests and the second was closer to 70. Both worked but the 1st was definetly more stress/effort for the host even though there was half the numbers to worry about as they made the buffet themsleves and had to get it all set up - if you want something stress free for you-speak to a couple of local take always and get a delivery! But I would definitely early provide food!

YABU. There should absolutely be food. You might find some people leave early.

Also, without food some people will get very, very pissed. Be prepared.

We eat dinner at 5. I'd be starving if l expected to eat at parties! Our friends always do abring a dish. Love it. Everyone makes an effort so the array of food is amazing.

OP it's not a party.

I assume you are not paying for drinks.

This is a meet in a pub. A cheapskates way to celebrate a " landmark" birthday.

I eat with my family at 4.30pm, because they're starving after school and DS2 needs to be in bed by 8, at weekends we eat at about 6, but they have a snack at about 2.

MrsGrindah one that doesn't have a kitchen?

The hall hire, bar license and band cost £400 and I couldn’t afford food too

If you couldn't afford food then it's not a party and you should have adjusted your expectations. People would mind I can assure you - they just wouldn't have said anything to your face out of politeness.

Wow! I think people’s expectations are crazy! My husband had a landmark birthday party yesterday and we didn’t arrange food, I ordered a cake for him and had to fight people to take some home with them!

bambi2908

I guarantee people will have meantioned the lack of food amongst themselves, a slice a cake for their guests is abit of an insult no wonder they declined. They are simply too British to actually go up to the food and ask where the food is. It’s extremely bad manners.

Host even got food on my mind 😂

I guarantee people will have meantioned the lack of food amongst themselves, a slice a cake for their guests is abit of an insult no wonder they declined. They are simply too British to actually go up to the food and ask where the food is. It’s extremely bad manners.

^ in a nutshell.

8 is way too early to get away with this. Most of your guests will have to be getting ready and travelling to this party right at what is a very standard dinner time for adults, 7pm.

If you really don’t want to provide food, you need to either let your guests know they have to have an early dinner, or you need to start the party at least an hour later.

If you're sending invitations it's a party and if it's a party then you need to provide food. It doesn't have to be a meal but certainly people will be expecting more than a few bowls of nuts or crisps. Not providing food runs the risk of people leaving early to eat elsewhere or (the more foolish ones) getting very pissed very quickly and either heading home early or sticking around being obnoxious!

Is there a nearby restaurant that can deliver platters on the night? I've been to a few pub celebrations where the hosts had arranged for the local Indian restaurant to provide huge trays of samosas, bhajis, spring rolls and various dips.

Alternatively as pps have said you could order some platters from a supermarket. If that's too expensive can you get some reliable family members or friends to make some food?

OP, are you expecting or accepting presents?

It's really not that hard to throw some food together, doesn't have to be fancy, it isn't a party really, without. It's just some people meeting in a pub

Meghan and Harry asked their guests to bring their own picnic to their wedding at Windsor.

I've been to a landmark birthday party recently. It started at 10, though and I didn't expect food and it was a small pub, i don't think it did food anyway.

For 8pm, hmm. It's ok, just tell people in advance. If it's a Friday evening they might be coming straight from work. If it's a Saturday then everyone would have had something by then.

We also went to a daytime party where we were asked for a contribution (went towards the food), and paid for our own drinks. And, you know, that was absolutely fine too.

I think as long as people know in advance and they don't get grumpy with hunger. Have a good time.

Another one who thinks you should provide food! We went to an evening wedding reception once, drove nearly 2 hours to get there and turned up starving. There was no food and evening guests were soon queuing up at the bar trying to buy crisps/anything edible. We left quite early and went in search of a drive in Macdonalds and I'm sure we weren't the only ones!

Yes, I do think you will find that people either arrive very late after being out for a meal, or get there at 8pm and bugger off for a meal somewhere at 9/9.30

Meghan and Harry asked their guests to bring their own picnic to their wedding at Windsor.

Yes, and it’s made the papers because it’s bloody tight and demonstrates that those people aren’t really guests at all; they are a rent-a-crowd.

Tbh I don't think I've ever been to an adult party in the evening where they served sandwiches and sausage rolls etc. Not recently anyway. But clearly I live in a different social universe to most on here.

But yes, maybe just ask people to join you for Celebratory Drinks at X pub if you are worried about misunderstandings.

You need to let people know what to expect when they arrive.

I have a friend who go invited to a posh restaurant for a landmark birthday- they bought a large present on the basis that the host was paying a lot for for the party - then got handed a bill at the end of the evening for the dinner 😳. Everyone was talking about how rude it was of the hosts

OP in in what way is this actually a party rather than a "lets meet in the pub"

I’m going to go against the grain here - I’ve never had a party in a pub with food?? Neither have any of my friends! I would never expect someone to pay for me to eat either