To be so irritated with people swearing in front of small children?

[CruCru]

This seems to be getting worse. I was in a cafe yesterday with my daughter (4) and a young guy (nicely spoken) was on the phone to his mum, telling her about a flat he was going to move into... “Yeah, it’s got a fuck off gym, a garage...”.

I’m in the park and we’ve just moved to a different part because a giant teenager (about 14 years old) keeps running past us shouting “Ahhh, fuckin’ ‘ell!!!”

Part of me wants to politely ask them to stop swearing in front of my children but I remember my Mum doing this and finding it completely mortifying.

I’m sure that I’ve always made an effort not to swear in front of little kids. I do see that in adult spaces it is different but in parks and cafes packed with children, it seems really crass to say fuck.

It can be the case, believe me, most swearers aren't Stephen Fry.

You can't police people's language, but I certainly judge them for it. I'm not particularly sweary, but I would always moderate my language in public and in front of children. Admittedly, as a teacher, I have an iron-hard swear filter.

I think it's a total cop-out to say it's just how you are. People moderate their language all the time depending on n their situation and audience. I'm sure that most sweary people would be perfectly capable of not swearing in a professional situation or in front of someone they were trying to impress. If they don't bother in front of children, it's because they don't care or don't see why they should.

To all of those saying swearing is due to a lack of vocabulary or intelligence, take a look at this is been proven multiple times the are strong links between swearing and higher IQ. If you don't like it that's up to you, but take those judgey pants off. Some of the sweariest people I know are the most educated and for want of a better word the 'poshest'. I think there must be lessons at public schools... www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/swearing-study-intelligent-intelligence-university-of-rochester-a7916516.html%3famp#ampshare=www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/swearing-study-intelligent-intelligence-university-of-rochester-a7916516.html

I avoid swearing in front of my children. I said for fucks sake a couple of times, like if I banged my toe or spilt milk everywhere. My toddler started saying it and I taught her not to say it and gave her a different phrase to use. Now neither of us say it.

However a friend of mine uses all the swearwords you can think of. Especially the C word lots of people hate. Her children know it is naughty and as far as I'm aware have never said it in public.

So yes I do think it's the parents responsibility to teach children not to say it. And I think parents should set an example. However I do think some people swear excessively and have no consideration for anyone else. It's not nice for adults to hear that as well as children.

Swearing imo has no link to intelligence or class and I'm surprised some people think it does.

I know people who swear from all backgrounds.

What a ridiculous conclusion to make.

Not sure why people are so proud of their swearing.

Hate it when people swear in front of children. I am about to leave a town where people swear loudly on the streets all the time, good riddance. One guy was so angry the other day, shouting at his wife and baby and tot, calling them cunts and every swear word under the sun. Which was quite pointless because the kids were so little. Another dad told his 9yr old girl, you gonna get fucked.

My kids are not allowed to shout “shut up” to someone. This falls under the swearing category.

I have no problem with mates swearing in banter out of strangers earshot or in pubs, clubs or adult spaces.
Imagine if our pm, politicians, and othe leaders of high profile industry swear at every second word, that would make for interesting interviews and meetings with other world leaders. Or at the office you work in, your boss kept shouting profanities to you when they got angry. So thank god it’s not the accepted everyday way of talking.

Those studies aren't definitive - however much, as a happy swearer, I'd like them to be.

The fact is, if you live in a deprived area, where people are struggling, swearing absolutely is a part of the vernacular. These will not be the poshest people anyone knows.

Of course swearing doesn't indicate a lack of intelligence or social class. There are plenty of posh, clever, rude people around. A failure to moderate your behaviour or language in different situations does indicate poor social skills, a lack of awareness or simply a lot of arrogance though. Most humans are social chameleons. If you're not, it surely means you either can't or won't adapt to different social situations.

Its not that big a deal - I explain to my dc that they are words that grown ups sometimes say and it doesn’t sound nice when children use them. I say mild swear words like bloody and crap in front of my dc - they know not to repeat. Ive heard the 7 year old son from the most genuinely posh families at my dc’s (private) school say shit. Agressive swearing around children is different and obviously not acceptable, but I can’t get too wound up about the odd word said conversationally or if you stub your toe, etc.

I've found groups of teens the best for noticing children and stoping swearing. The first time a group of lads were walking in front of us and one swore, only to be told off by his friends because there was a little kid behind him, I nearly fell over from shock. But it's a regular thing round here!

My sil swears constantly Infront of her children, but seems mortified when they repeat what they've heard at school or in public

Not sure why people are so proud of their swearing.

Are people proud of their swearing or are they just not ashamed? very different things in my opinion.

I don't care. Everything is so child and family centric that even a trip to the cafe involves wailing babies, pushchairs blocking the place and kids being annoying. If I want to swear, I will. I don't do it often, but if a mum asked me to stop swearing I'd tell her to piss off. I'm fed up of having to pander and give special treatment to mothers and their offspring.

I swear in front of my children, all the time.
Dd (21) still doesn't swear in front of me although I know she does with her friends.

The two younger ones see it as something grown ups do, but not acceptable from children, or from a child to a parent

I really don't see the big deal or why it's 'utterly disgraceful'

I HATE swearing full stop. OK, I can see there might be the occassion when it's called for but when it's every other word it just makes people look stupid and like they have a very limited vocabulary and lack the brain power to think of a better word. I mean, what does a "fuck off gym" even mean - was it well-equipped, large, fashionable...?
Sadly, you can't walk anywhere around here without people swearing like this so we've had to become somewhat immune.

World doesn't revolve around people's kids. Next time shout please think of the children

YANBU if the swearers are in a venue/area designated for small children.

I took my youngest to the children's play area at the park yesterday afternoon, and there was a constant stream of colourfully foul and offensive language from a group of about 12 teenagers loudly chatting nearby. They packed it in when I glared in their direction after a particularly expressive phrase was yelled out at full volume (I've developed a heck of a glare in the last couple of years )

Later on that day I learned from a police officer friend that people swearing in public are actually commiting a public order offence.

For those of you who think the OP is being precious. How would you like it if your child's primary teacher was be to telling them that "Henry VIII was fucking huge and a total cock!" I feel that many of you wouldn't be happy! I swear, but I wouldn't dream of doing it at work, and I wouldn't do it in the street either, just because it becomes habit forming. What happens if I get so used to punctuating my conversation with f's that I start doing it in the classroom!

iamthere you just read my thoughts, my next post was going to ask if the teacher called your little Alfie, and said come over here you little cunt, even if the said it playfully you would not be happy just because Alfie knows it’s an adult word, he won’t use it.

World doesn't revolve around people's kids.

It doesn't revolve around rude, inconsiderate, socially inept people either, even if they clearly think it does.

I knew my Grandpas comments would be jumped on but I would like to emphasise he felt it was laziness so we all knew where he stood. I’m in the it’s not ok camp especially in front of children as I was brought up to believe that swearing was an aggressive exclamation only used in extreme circumstances. For people who do it regularly do you just see those words as everyday language and not offensive?

The world has become full of people who live on social media and in text apps, and haven't learned that swearing and profanities like f, c etc may be fine to include in online fora, but are totally inappropriate in public places where DC are. It's so sad that people think just because those DC on the next table to them or by the bus stop are "other people's DC" that it doesn't matter.

We all have, or should have, a social responsibility to each other, and give-a-damn, like in the past, people wouldn't think twice about looking after that little kid in their street whose mum has to be at work. Now it NMP *

• Not My Problem

"World doesn't revolve around people's kids."

It doesn't revolve around rude, inconsiderate, socially inept people either, even if they clearly think it does.

Spot on!

There is a whole region in the east midlands where many really do say f* every other word. I don't like it. One question I've always wanted to ask is what on earth do they do when they really want to swear?

I had this conversation once with someone I know who used to work with young people. She said it could be a problem, because they didn't have any vocabulary left to express themselves with when they were very angry or upset, so the next step was often aggression.

Those of you who constantly swear, what do you say when you stub your toe or spill something?

I find the constant 'I went down the fucking pub to fucking meet Joe but he wasn't fucking there so I fucking came home again' not just unpleasant but really, really boring to have to listen to. It doesn't add anything to the meaning and it just takes longer to get to the point.

I have not heard my teen or her friends swear,I do when they text each other but again this has decreased as they're older and is now mostly for emphasis.
I occasionally swear , when I've hurt myself stupidly or at some other drivers.
As a toddler my DD had a very clear voice and used to tell me,loudly,if she heard people use a naughty word.As someone said above though quite a lot of teens are careful if language Infront of small children.

I am a MN anomaly swearing doesn’t bother me is the least. Not even in from of my children who have never sworn in spite of being exposed to it regularly I think sometimes a good expletive says it when nothing else will.