Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to 'grass on' this colleague?

149 replies

MotherOfBratz · 04/05/2018 18:55

NC - I'm a long-standing poster, but this is rather outing. I'll try and keep it reasonably brief (and am willing to elaborate if needed):

Due to a recent restructuring initiative at my place of work, I accepted a transfer to a different department that came with a promotion - but of the five teams that used to work for me, I only took two along with me when I moved - which is nothing but sensible in terms of our post-reorganisation org chart.

There's just one small problem: several of the people in the teams no longer managed by myself have approached me in private and have complained about how much they dislike and (worse IMO, I've done good work for bosses I didn't love) disrespect their new manager, have directly asked me if I have jobs for them in my new department or have said that they're job hunting outside. So far as I'm aware, they've done this independently of one another (though if they've covertly organised in order to give that impression and are actually in cahoots with one another, I'd be one proud former boss at having chosen and trained them).

I personally know their new manager and actually quite like him on a personal level - but having had interactions with him regarding projects delivered jointly by my former and my current department, I can see why my former employees might not enjoy working for him. I know I certainly wouldn't (and have the privilege of not having to, so who am I to talk about personal likes?). There is nothing inherently wrong with how he approaches things, IMO - it's just that the way he manages is not particularly compatible with the type of team I have built. Colleague seems to be a 'standardise and industrialise' type of guy - I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly. The type of people I have put on these teams don't tend to gel well with the type of manager colleague is.

Here's my dilemma: I could speak up to my (and colleague's - we have the same C-level bosses) higher-ups about my concerns and I'm practically positive I'd 'win' if I did. My unhappy ex-subordinates would love me, as would my bosses (my style of management is much more in line with what the firm aims for these days - that's a purely generational thing). But if I do, colleague may be sanctioned. Colleague is also in his late 50s and his style (the one my former team members complin about) is not en vogue - so he may not have many options elsewhere. I don't think he deserves this. This is not a case of him being wrong - his style and background are just a poor match for the position.

Or I could keep schtum. This may lead to my ex-subordinates leaving one by one and the company I work for getting into dire straits in a critical business area. Much more importantly to me personally, it would mean washing my hands of people I have personally selected, trained and developed, and whom I care about on a personal as much as on a professional level, and leaving them to fend for themselves in a situation they are clearly trying to address by speaking to me. I feel responsible for these people and I'd hate to let them down when they put their trust in me.

So WWYD?

OP posts:
WizardOfToss · 05/05/2018 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluemoonchances · 05/05/2018 12:45

100% agree with @ChiefSuspect post (at 23.23hr Friday!) Perfectly summed up.

CosmicSpider · 05/05/2018 12:51

Oh my goodness!

If I was taking this seriously, then I would say that 'new teacher syndrome ' continues well on into the adult work world, and people as a rule, don't like change. Some will complain and moan when a new Manager steps in. I see this a lot as a manager of managers. I always say the same, if they are doing something wrong, against the company policies or ethos, then make it formal and complain via the internal processes. If it is a case of them not liking someone, then I point out how they are expected to work collaboratively, and value and respect others. They are colleagues, not friends.

If I was your manager and you came to me with your OP I would say the same, and be wondering why I promoted you.

You sound nauseating.

Rachel0Greep · 05/05/2018 16:02

Where can I get artisan slippers? Grin

paxillin · 05/05/2018 16:21

This may lead to my ex-subordinates leaving one by one

Nah, people so inflexible they can't cope with a new manager will never leave a company.

DragonMummy1418 · 05/05/2018 16:40

If he's performing well in the job but has a different style then YABVVVU, let him build his own team.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 05/05/2018 16:49

''You're gone, stay gone. Leave the guy alone to get on with it in his own way.''

This-cannot advise you strongly enough. Believe me nothing irks people more than people in the workplace who have no right to do something yet do it ie. people who get involved in situations that are not their business. It can look VERY bad on you, my strongest advise-it is NOT your business and NOT your place to be getting involved. Stay out of it and also refuse to be talking about it to anybody that comes to you- that can be reported later and get you in trouble.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 05/05/2018 16:54

''I think you have an obligation to your employer to speak in confidence to your line manager tbh. They need to know that his management style is likely to lose the firm some good employees - ''

this will not be seen like this in the professional world and the op could see themself in alot of bother over this. The new manager has done nothing wrong, no rules have being broken, her opinion does not warrant a complaint and if employees are lost it is not her place to be getting involved. I would stay well out of this as I have seen such behaviour blow up in peoples faces.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 05/05/2018 18:16

''You built teams of stuck-in-their-ways whingers who can't adapt to a new boss's management style. When I was a part of a large multinational they used to rotate bosses around the departments to get around this precise problem.

You have selected and developed people for teams which YOU have shaped to be inflexible in your absence. That does not put your management style in a good light.''

Reminds me of a teacher who had an excellent reputation and all the kids and their parents wanted her. The excellent 1 was a history teacher who just gave the students essays to learn off [she had not even written the essays but had saved them from a star students].As the exam qs were always the same students learnt the essays by heart and got their high grade. Enter a new colleague into the department and made the students research and write their own essays and forbid them from learning them but to create their own. People complained. Few years later my 2 mates who had the 'excellent teacher' and 1 who had the complained about teacher entered uni to do history. The one with the complained about teacher got on well as he knew how to research and understood the subject which was essential, the other 2 with the 'excellent' teacher were completely lost and when they told their history professor how they had done so well up to then in history she was disgusted!! Just because a management style is different and not agreed with does not make it inadequate and sometimes those seen as great and mighty at the top can often be hiding behind smoke and mirrors.

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/05/2018 18:21

There's a fine line between corporate speak and word salad.
boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects is word salad.

Hushnownobodycares · 05/05/2018 18:47

They have run bleating to you in the hope you will do their dirty work for them. Fall for it and it's your neck on the line.

If you were as excellent a manager as you think you are you wouldn't need to ask this.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/05/2018 19:13

the more I read this the more I think that the OP has been promoted because her teams are not performing the way that they should and they want a real manager and not someone that just talks the talk.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 05/05/2018 23:30

sigh, i love how every thread on mn turns into an attack and psychological analysis of the op and totally diverts from the question asked.

daisychain01 · 06/05/2018 05:26

AfterSchool I so love the expression word salad Grin

Bettyfood · 06/05/2018 05:41

The OP sounds like a corporate (bullshit generator) bot. I was sympathetic with her cause until then, but I absolutely cannot abide that crap.

Jonsey79 · 06/05/2018 06:09

I think it's ironic that you promised (in one of your many updates) to explain something in a nutshell.

purplelila2 · 06/05/2018 06:22

I'm sorry OP I don't know what you're on about and what's en vogue when it's at home? haha

Your post makes no sense!

PasstheStarmix · 06/05/2018 06:26

‘How long has he been in post?
I would encourage them to give him more of a chance as it can take a while to get comfortable with new management.’

This ^

I feel sorry for the guy to be honest as the team have hardly given him a chance. They need to be encouraged to do so. It’s important to be adaptable.

Sundance65 · 06/05/2018 08:23

Several of the team have approached you....had it occurred to you all the others are breathing a huge sigh of relief and think the new guy is far far better than you were.

Leave it alone - different horses for different courses- they are all grown ups and should handle it through the proper channels.

sheldonesque · 06/05/2018 11:37

Artisanal slippers?

Is that corporate bluster for athlete's foot?

Folk can toss their word salad as much they like. As my much missed gran used to say, 'you can't polish shite'.

Doesn't stop folk trying by the looks of it Smile

Motherbear26 · 06/05/2018 13:10

I think you would be wrong to get involved. I have recently joined a company in the midst of huge change. Some people hated the new regime and have left, they were unfortunately very resistant to change. However the ones that remain are so much happier, love the change and are so happy at how the new company invest in us.

Part of this investment is in depth management training for all members of the management team. This includes coaching, delegation and ‘giving back the monkey’ (I know you love your jargon opWink). The first lesson is that good managers should not need to do everything for their teams, they should coach them through dealing with tricky situations so they learn to deal with things in the correct manner themselves.

If your old team are still running to you with all of their little issues, then I’m afraid you have failed to train them sufficiently and perhaps are not as good a leader as you seem to believe. You need to allow them to deal with it. If they are as good as you believe, they will rise to the challenge.

Juells · 06/05/2018 14:04

@boywiththebrokensmile2

sigh, i love how every thread on mn turns into an attack and psychological analysis of the op and totally diverts from the question asked.

Not true that every thread turns into an attack on the OP.

Not every question asked is reasonable.

RoseWhiteTips · 06/05/2018 14:07

The OP sells slippers?

Daifuku9 · 06/05/2018 20:44

@RoseWhiteTips, apparently yes and they are “boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive)” ones. 😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page