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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to 'grass on' this colleague?

149 replies

MotherOfBratz · 04/05/2018 18:55

NC - I'm a long-standing poster, but this is rather outing. I'll try and keep it reasonably brief (and am willing to elaborate if needed):

Due to a recent restructuring initiative at my place of work, I accepted a transfer to a different department that came with a promotion - but of the five teams that used to work for me, I only took two along with me when I moved - which is nothing but sensible in terms of our post-reorganisation org chart.

There's just one small problem: several of the people in the teams no longer managed by myself have approached me in private and have complained about how much they dislike and (worse IMO, I've done good work for bosses I didn't love) disrespect their new manager, have directly asked me if I have jobs for them in my new department or have said that they're job hunting outside. So far as I'm aware, they've done this independently of one another (though if they've covertly organised in order to give that impression and are actually in cahoots with one another, I'd be one proud former boss at having chosen and trained them).

I personally know their new manager and actually quite like him on a personal level - but having had interactions with him regarding projects delivered jointly by my former and my current department, I can see why my former employees might not enjoy working for him. I know I certainly wouldn't (and have the privilege of not having to, so who am I to talk about personal likes?). There is nothing inherently wrong with how he approaches things, IMO - it's just that the way he manages is not particularly compatible with the type of team I have built. Colleague seems to be a 'standardise and industrialise' type of guy - I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly. The type of people I have put on these teams don't tend to gel well with the type of manager colleague is.

Here's my dilemma: I could speak up to my (and colleague's - we have the same C-level bosses) higher-ups about my concerns and I'm practically positive I'd 'win' if I did. My unhappy ex-subordinates would love me, as would my bosses (my style of management is much more in line with what the firm aims for these days - that's a purely generational thing). But if I do, colleague may be sanctioned. Colleague is also in his late 50s and his style (the one my former team members complin about) is not en vogue - so he may not have many options elsewhere. I don't think he deserves this. This is not a case of him being wrong - his style and background are just a poor match for the position.

Or I could keep schtum. This may lead to my ex-subordinates leaving one by one and the company I work for getting into dire straits in a critical business area. Much more importantly to me personally, it would mean washing my hands of people I have personally selected, trained and developed, and whom I care about on a personal as much as on a professional level, and leaving them to fend for themselves in a situation they are clearly trying to address by speaking to me. I feel responsible for these people and I'd hate to let them down when they put their trust in me.

So WWYD?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 05/05/2018 05:45

Op said she was promoted, not "managed sideways", and I don't even know where the "reduced reports" came from Confused

daisychain01 · 05/05/2018 05:45

'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects

Riiiiiight.......

You're the very person for whom "not my circus, not my monkeys 🐒 " was written.

daisychain01 · 05/05/2018 05:49

I managed to get a Bingo on my Buzzword Bollox card, just on the OP. Thats some achievement!

AltheaorDonna · 05/05/2018 06:33

God I hate corporate wankspeak.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 05/05/2018 06:42

To be fair he's probably more a manager than their friend. They don't like it so they've done the unprofessional thing of coming to you to complain and make threats. Your job is to signpost staff to complaints procedure. Correct channels etc. Not to champion their unprofessional cause. This is a learning curve for you!

NeverTwerkNaked · 05/05/2018 07:11

So, in a re-structure you were essentially demoted, and now you are thinking about stirring up trouble in your old teams? Don’t get involved.
Our manager got moved sideways and tried to stir up trouble with new manager (by being a “listening ear” to his “former subordinates” complaints). It didn’t go down well. There was a reason the organisation had moved him sideways (downwards Wink ) and removed him from managing our team.

All the complainers have left the organisation and actually we are doing more than fine without them. They weren’t as indispensable as they and former manager thought they were Wink

I would think very carefully before getting involved in this. It might just backfire badly. What you perceive about yourself and this other manager might not be how others (more senior) see it.

whifflesqueak · 05/05/2018 07:11

So far as I'm aware, they've done this independently of one another (though if they've covertly organised in order to give that impression and are actually in cahoots with one another, I'd be one proud former boss at having chosen and trained them).

Hmm
Undercoverbanana · 05/05/2018 07:22

They should be chatting to their union about a grievance if it’s that bad.

Perhaps you need to step back a bit. It’s just work. Hunker down and pray for 5pm.

As for “grassing” anyone - didn’t you grow out of that at about, I dunno, 9?

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/05/2018 07:22

Mmm. This happened with my team when I left - they hated the new manager and wanted me to intervene. I was quite clear that this wasn’t going to happen. They could either speak to her or speak to her boss. Either way, I told them they had to give her at least three months to bed down. Three months on, they were getting used to her style - still not happy with it, but getting used to it. And they spoke to her and her boss about the other issues. It’s still not perfect, but they have a better understanding of a different management style.

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/05/2018 07:26

Was this your first management role? Were you actually managing your teams, or being their friend?

Undercoverbanana · 05/05/2018 07:30

Reading it again, I think this post is a bet.

OP was bet she couldn’t start a post that contained certain words and phrases and this is the outcome.

Tinycitrus · 05/05/2018 07:31

I still don’t understand what op does...Confused

Don’t undermine the new guy.

0hCrepe · 05/05/2018 07:34

Of course they all know they’ll have been winding each other up about it.
They probably don’t like change so wouldn’t leave, just want things back the way they were.
Advise them what to do (get used to it or raise a grievance if they have any serious concerns).
Don’t get involved beyond that.
I also can’t imagine a 50 year old man would lose his job.

Rainboho · 05/05/2018 07:35

I accepted a transfer to a different department that came with a promotion - but of the five teams that used to work for me, I only took two along with me when I moved

There you go Annie -this is where it says in the OP that 2 out of 5 teams moved = reduction in direct reports.

The sideways/promotion/different department hasn’t been clarified by OP. If it were, it would probably read something like ‘In recognition of the niche provision I am skilled in, this promotion meant I took two of the most awesome teams across with me, to a department that higher management clearly feel could benefit from a boutique millennial aware approach, so I have been brought in to raise standards across that department in recognition of my leadership skills.’

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 05/05/2018 07:35

You speak about your former team as if they are your property. They are not. Stay out of this. It will reflect very badly on you if you get involved. The people who have approached you are very unprofessional for coming to you and for not being able to adapt to another management style. You will probably find they won’t leave but from what you have said about them it will be no loss to the company.

pumpersnatch · 05/05/2018 07:41

boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects 😂😂😂😂

eddielizzard · 05/05/2018 07:50

what ChiefSuspect said

FreeMantle · 05/05/2018 07:51

Agree this Op is a bet.

pumpersnatch · 05/05/2018 07:53

A bet?
How boring and dull Hmm

SecretStash · 05/05/2018 07:58

A bet?
What do you mean, a bet?

stressedoutpa · 05/05/2018 08:03

I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly.

Hmm

Leave it. Spend the time becoming aware of how you come across because it's not great on here.

BeyondThePage · 05/05/2018 08:03

You built teams of stuck-in-their-ways whingers who can't adapt to a new boss's management style. When I was a part of a large multinational they used to rotate bosses around the departments to get around this precise problem.

You have selected and developed people for teams which YOU have shaped to be inflexible in your absence. That does not put your management style in a good light.

Lovelydovey · 05/05/2018 08:08

I would say something. Very much in an FYI xxx employees have been asking for positions on my team and I know a number are looking for roles outside. Not as an outright criticism of the new manager.

I think it is helpful for seniors to be aware of risks arising in their teams below - and this sounds like one of these.

Doyoumind · 05/05/2018 08:15

I think it will reflect badly on you and you'll look like a gossipy, unprofessional, shit stirrer if you say anything.

Advise these people to address the issue directly with their manager.

Lots of people think the department/company will fall apart when they leave. It rarely happens.

redexpat · 05/05/2018 08:23

Your seniority means you should flag up something, even if only 'A number of my old team have been to see me re Xs style of management. I've told them to get on with it, but some appear to be looking elsewhere. Thought you should have a heads up.