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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to 'grass on' this colleague?

149 replies

MotherOfBratz · 04/05/2018 18:55

NC - I'm a long-standing poster, but this is rather outing. I'll try and keep it reasonably brief (and am willing to elaborate if needed):

Due to a recent restructuring initiative at my place of work, I accepted a transfer to a different department that came with a promotion - but of the five teams that used to work for me, I only took two along with me when I moved - which is nothing but sensible in terms of our post-reorganisation org chart.

There's just one small problem: several of the people in the teams no longer managed by myself have approached me in private and have complained about how much they dislike and (worse IMO, I've done good work for bosses I didn't love) disrespect their new manager, have directly asked me if I have jobs for them in my new department or have said that they're job hunting outside. So far as I'm aware, they've done this independently of one another (though if they've covertly organised in order to give that impression and are actually in cahoots with one another, I'd be one proud former boss at having chosen and trained them).

I personally know their new manager and actually quite like him on a personal level - but having had interactions with him regarding projects delivered jointly by my former and my current department, I can see why my former employees might not enjoy working for him. I know I certainly wouldn't (and have the privilege of not having to, so who am I to talk about personal likes?). There is nothing inherently wrong with how he approaches things, IMO - it's just that the way he manages is not particularly compatible with the type of team I have built. Colleague seems to be a 'standardise and industrialise' type of guy - I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly. The type of people I have put on these teams don't tend to gel well with the type of manager colleague is.

Here's my dilemma: I could speak up to my (and colleague's - we have the same C-level bosses) higher-ups about my concerns and I'm practically positive I'd 'win' if I did. My unhappy ex-subordinates would love me, as would my bosses (my style of management is much more in line with what the firm aims for these days - that's a purely generational thing). But if I do, colleague may be sanctioned. Colleague is also in his late 50s and his style (the one my former team members complin about) is not en vogue - so he may not have many options elsewhere. I don't think he deserves this. This is not a case of him being wrong - his style and background are just a poor match for the position.

Or I could keep schtum. This may lead to my ex-subordinates leaving one by one and the company I work for getting into dire straits in a critical business area. Much more importantly to me personally, it would mean washing my hands of people I have personally selected, trained and developed, and whom I care about on a personal as much as on a professional level, and leaving them to fend for themselves in a situation they are clearly trying to address by speaking to me. I feel responsible for these people and I'd hate to let them down when they put their trust in me.

So WWYD?

OP posts:
redexpat · 05/05/2018 08:24

^ This is good

WannabeMathematician · 05/05/2018 08:24

In my industry there is a recruitment shortage and we have had open positions for a while. So if this situation were to happen in a company I work for I think I would say something. Keeping people if preferable to having to recruit new people most of the time.

Also, if they are they sorts of people who have options you shouldn't underestimate 'not clicking' with a manager as a reason to find a new job. I'm not saying that you should launch an inquisition but maybe have an informal chat with HR so they can look into it.

allthegoodnameshadgone · 05/05/2018 08:26

Let them follow the correct chain of command and direct them to HR. Not your business luvvie.

Juells · 05/05/2018 08:34

@FreeMantle

Agree this Op is a bet.

I said that I assumed it was a joke. I'm still fairly sure it is. Nobody could be that un-self-aware.

morningconstitutional2017 · 05/05/2018 08:45

I think you should encourage these colleagues to maybe say, 'I find this approach to management difficult to cope with,' to the individual concerned which will give him the chance to explain his ways and maybe find a compromise so that all can work happily together.
If nothing improves and they are still unhappy then it should be taken to the next level of relevant management. Perhaps extra training is needed.

Tinycitrus · 05/05/2018 08:47

Perhaps new manager is better?

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/05/2018 08:51

I'm cringing hard for you OP.

PinkTipz · 05/05/2018 08:55

boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects

I’m going to put this on my LinkedIn

GrinGrinGrin

viques · 05/05/2018 08:57

First off, they are not your "employees" they are the company's employees. They were your team members but are not in your team, or under your line management now.

It sounds as though they are quite young, at the start of their careers. They are going to have to learn to deal with work situations like this. Managers they don't get on with, colleagues who rub them up the wrong way. running to you and asking you to save them might be flattering to you but in the long run is doing nothing to build their work skills.

Advise them that if they have a problem they need to go down the usual routes, discussing at 1-1 meetings with their line manager , taking it further if things don't improve. apart from that advice your input should be nothing.

Believe me, if you want to go further in management you have to learn to recognise boundaries. Yours and theirs.

WeAreGerbil · 05/05/2018 09:15

I think to be a good boss OP you need to watch the ageism too.

0hCrepe · 05/05/2018 09:19

boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects

Trying to think what op’s job is

Team leader of door-to-door sales of double glazing?

TheAntiBoop · 05/05/2018 09:52

The bit that jumped out at me was the fact you'd be proud if this was a Machiavellian plot by your previous team members. That kind of attitude is everything that is wrong with negative corporate cultures.

I've had a few different bosses in my time and you adapt to them - not try and get them sacked! The fact they seem incapable of realising that does not bode well for their future careers as flexibility is key

Smeaton · 05/05/2018 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoniceraJaponica · 05/05/2018 10:36

“I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly.”

Are you for real?
This is the most pretentious corporate speak jargon I have ever come across. You might think it makes you sound “important”, but in the real world you just come across as a bit of a tit.

Shelby2010 · 05/05/2018 10:47

Ok, I understand the situation the OP is in, but where the fuck do the artisan slippers come into it? And do real people really talk like this?

If she’s taught her old teams to speak like this then the new manager probably can’t understand them either.

pattimayonnaise · 05/05/2018 10:48

You sound awful, totally full of yourself and you should stay out of it.

C8H10N4O2 · 05/05/2018 10:51

I may be missing something here but how does going from 5 teams to 2 teams represent a promotion?

Industrialised/standardised delivery is where the money is in most industries, even if they start with having their minds blown on a PoC.

Additionally a good manager should ensure their staff understand both models and the pros and cons of each.

LovelySouffle · 05/05/2018 11:04

This is brilliant. Great work OP.

RainySeptember · 05/05/2018 11:16

Are you David Brent?

Because you can't possibly be in any position of seniority; if you were you would know exactly how to handle this.

What you do is be professional. It is fine for your former team to sound you out for a transfer, but unprofessional to complain about your replacement. He has been put there for a reason and needs time to settle into the job. It is very hard taking over an established team and he needs support from them, and from you. You tell them to follow the correct procedures if he is incompetent and to look for something else if it is a personality clash.

If I were your boss, approached with this issue, in this way, I would think less of you, and less of them.

You tell them to give it time because he's a great manager, and you tell your boss that some former employees have approached you for a job. Leave it at that. Big Boss will roll his eyes, because a bit of sulking when a new manager takes over is usual, and then tacitly offer support to bolster the new manager and placate the disloyal whinyarses.

HopefullyAnonymous · 05/05/2018 11:24

I've always been a 'boutique type delivery of mind-blowingly excellent but correspondingly involved (and expensive) projects' kind of woman and have shaped my teams accordingly

Literally the best thing I’ve ever read on MN!! It’s a shame we’ve scared OP off as I’m dying to know what terribly important job she does.

ManifestingPowerhouse · 05/05/2018 11:27

Jesus Christ Grin

MarvelleGazelle · 05/05/2018 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 05/05/2018 11:45

Don’t overstimate your importance. You think your higher ups will listen to you but unless you know what goes on in their meetings and what’s in their plans you don’t know for sure.

In the last place I worked there was some actual serious concerns (and not just a difference of management style) about the new manager, the board were presented with these concerns and they refused to listen. The place is now shut down because of the actions of this manager. So even when you have proof and legitimate concerns, the higher ups can choose to not to listen to you. I suspect if you try and ruin this guy(still don’t know what he’s done wrong though) that it will backfire.

I’d tell your new team to look for new jobs if they’re not happy but other than that, stay out of it!

brummiesue · 05/05/2018 11:55

Subordinates?? Seriously??!! Hmm

NorthernKnickers · 05/05/2018 11:56

What @coffeecupofmilk said with bells on! Honestly, a) as if ANYONE outside your world would have a clue what your VERY SPECIFIC jargon meant in the first place, and b) your wanky showing off 'I'm so irreplaceable' is just 🙄🤮