to think that my boss should be ok with my antenatal appointments?

[NumberNina]

Keeping this as short as possible. Boss isn't happy with how many ante natal appointments I have booked in. I've had miscarriages in the past, had a loop procedure due to my smear test, and have been bleeding a fair bit during this pregnancy. Due to this I am being seen more often for monitoring by the hospital.

My boss has made it very clear that 'she didn't remember having so many appointments' and that it would be useful if I tried to book them on the same day (really difficult to try and do this). Is it normal to have so many appointments? And AIBU to think my boss is out of order to judge me for how many appointments I'm having?

It's hard when you're being made to feel bad for being out of the office but that's surely just part of it pregnancy (p.s. I work in a very big office that can cover me easily when I'm not in).

ikeepaforkinmypurse

Being pregnant doesn't give you the right to abuse the system

Totally agree with this comment. In my office I've seen so many pregnant women take the absolute piss with half day's for appointments and numerous days off for the most trivial things.

Taking the piss in pregnancy may be 'legal' but it's not ethical. Why the hell should the rest of the workforce be placed under stress because someone is pregnant

Reading with interest as I’m newly pregnant and about to start the antenatal appointments. My first one is next Thursday and I’ve booked half a days holiday. Could I have just taken paid time off as it’s a pregnancy related appointment? Work don’t know I’m pregnant yet but I’m happy to tell the relevant people if it means I’m not using my holidays unnecessarily.

When I was a boss, the fact that I'd never been pregnant meant I'd NO idea how many appointments a pregnant woman might have. What I did know, however (because it was my job to know and my role as a human being) was that no pregnancy is identical to another and also that the law says a woman goes to the appointments she's called to and her boss gives her the time without question.

Was your boss suggesting the hospital was calling you for fun? Or that you were making up appointments to skive off, perhaps?

I had to have weekly scans from week 6 until birth because of complications with an earlier pregnancy leading to a stillbirth, as well as midwife and consultant's appointments.

Thankfully I had a considerate employer who worked in a legal and supportive manner!

Reading some of the comments on here I am glad my colleagues were not as vicious as some posters!

Work don’t know I’m pregnant yet If you haven't officially told them, you are not protected.

Apprehensive - yes you're entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5343

From that article for op

"All pregnancies are different, some women may need more"

4 appts at 14 weeks isn't a huge amount - I've already had 3 at 13 weeks and mine isn't complicated either.

I just go to appointments as they are offered to me, and work around them as much as I can. Taking a half day to go to and from an appointment and then commute into work is pretty standard I think for those that commute and especially scans etc where there can be a lot of faffing around.

She absolutely shouldn't be commenting in this way.

Check your organisations maternity policy and the other docs pps have suggested.

They can ask for proof of the appointments I think, you'd just show them the letter, but they can't stop you from going, make you use your annual leave, or give you any hassle.

I've never once seen a pregnant colleague taking the piss or "abusing their legal rights".

I have seen people banned from using the toilets for throwing up, stopped from getting up from their desks with visible bumps when the boss hadn't yet told her manager they were pregnant, harrassed for going off sick when they could barely function, and made redundant for spurious reasons.

There was a TA in my DD's year 1 class went off with maternity illness'es, on and off (more off), then took full maternity. Came back already pregnant - and so the story continues. Then she came back pregnant AGAIN.

I will be letting my employer know about my pregnancy ASAP in that case. I sure hope my boss is more professional about it than yours OP, that’s terrible!

If she says again 'I don't remember having so many appointments' then just say, things must have gone very smoothly for you.

No, don't start arguing, even in a PA way. If she persists, ask her calmly, if she has concerns about your work/hours/presence, to put them in writing and send them to you.

ikeepaforkinmypurse - you may have acted in the law but you don’t sound very pleasant. I’m guessing you have your own business. I would never work for a small business.

Some of the comments here make me sigh.

LifeBeginsAtGin - and? What is another woman’s pregnancy in relation to your life? You don’t know her circumstances.

Its against the employment law to not allow you to attend antenatal appointments, and to be honest its none of their business how many you have as long as you can prove they are genuine they are not allowed to discriminate against you.

Polarbearflavour
no, I am just an employee, a woman and mother (of 4) in the work place.
The attitude of SOME women really bothers me because they reflect negatively on all of us, I have seen so many taking the piss and demanding extra rights and being completely unreasonable, at least trying to.

One of my coworkers had similar issues with a male boss - complaining about how many appointments she had. After witnessing this I always asked for letters/proof of appointments etc to take to my employer. Although by then I had a different manager who was more understanding.

I was high risk at the end of my second pregnancy and in the hospital every bloody 2 minutes with growth scans. One day I had my scan, drove to work and then had the hospital ring me at work asking to come back! Thankfully I went on mat leave early with that one!

YANBU and it isn't up to your boss how many appointments you need.
I would speak to HR and try and come up with a suitable outcome for you all.
I can see why they might ask for appointments on the same day and you could ask the hospital/midwife to accommodate this, if possible.
She is out of order with the comment about not remembering so many appointments, silly cow.

ikeepaforkinmypurse What exactly have they demanded and taken the piss about, genuinely interested.

When I was pregnant I took half days to go to appointments every two weeks, left at 12.30pm it would take half an hour to travel to the hospital from where I worked, the clinics were extremely busy and more often than not I was only leaving again at 5.30pm or later, If i did get out any earlier by the time I would've traveled back to the office it would've been finishing time (5pm) anyway so no point. Is that taking the piss?

I've seen far more women discriminated against and treated badly in relation to maternity than I have seen take the piss.

The way my ex employer treated me in the end really makes me wish I hadn't dragged myself into work whilst throwing up 4 times a day, almost passing out on the train due to low blood pressure and then when I took a day off sick on the advice of my midwife I was told 'just don't make a habit of it'.

I went into work feeling awful all the time and worked late and weekends out of some misguided sense of loyalty and not wanting to be seen as the pregnant woman 'taking the piss'.

Employers in this country have a long way to go.

Does the law stand if your contract says ALL medical appointments must be taken outside p/t working hours ?

A contract can't supersede the law

www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

Heatherjayne1972 - the law trumps an employment contract.

YANBU OP. I had to be monitored weekly or even more often in the last 6 weeks of my last pregnancy. I work 3 days a week but I had to take the appointments in work hours as i had no childcare on the other days when I had my 3 year old. I always made the appointments at 9am to try to minimise the amount of work time I would be missing but I rarely made it to work before lunchtime. No one ever said anything and nor should they, The law is there to protect pregnant women.

I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly. I know how worrying a pregnancy is after loss

Our local midwives had one clinic a week on the same afternoon every week. Not much leeway there.