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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about my 3 year old's behaviour with his penis?

62 replies

hungryhungryhippo8 · 04/05/2018 09:51

My 3yo is going through the standard phase of touching himself all the time which is fine as I know it's a 'thing' and I just ignore it.

However, he is saying stuff to my 2yo like 'my willy is out come and touch it'.

What the...? Is this normal?

OP posts:
MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 04/05/2018 09:53

He's three. He doesn't know what societal boundaries are. He doesn't know that it's any different to asking you to touch his nose.

KoshaMangsho · 04/05/2018 09:55

Very normal. To him it doesn’t have the shame and sexual attributes that we associate with reproductive organs. To him it’s like his belly button.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 04/05/2018 09:56

I’m pretty sure you’ve got nothing to worry about at all.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 04/05/2018 09:57

Normal I would say

Mumofkids · 04/05/2018 09:57

Just distract him and make sure it's covered. My youngest son discovered it made his sisters scream if he tried to touch them with his 🙄 So he'd commence 'willy-touch' and try and touch everyone with it... we got them to stop screaming and told them to ignore it and just said to him pop it away and come and play cars etc he soon moved on.
I wouldn't worry or make a big deal.

Original poster
hungryhungryhippo8 · 04/05/2018 09:58

The other night, just as he was falling asleep, he got it out over his trousers and said to my husband 'Dad. My willy is out. Call the police.' just out of nowhere in dead silence Grin

OP posts:
Elllicam · 04/05/2018 10:00

Normal I’d say. My 3 year is always going on about his willy.

PerfectlyDone · 04/05/2018 10:26

V normal Grin

It is a time though to start having conversations about what is and is not appropriate at home, in public, with friends, at nursery etc.

I quite like the whole 'private parts are called private for a reason', also talking in an age appropriate way about consent i.e. "X does not want to see/touch your penis, so do not make him".

TheOrigFV45 · 04/05/2018 10:28

When DS was about that age he was in the bath exclaiming "look Mummy it gets bigger and smaller", much to my older son's horror.

Much more recently he used it to give a demo of flexible and rigid, which they'd been learning about at school.

I suppose I'd play with it all the time if I had one.

PerfectlyDone · 04/05/2018 10:31

I have 4 DS, quite close in age.
At one point they were all small enough that they could ALL get in to the bath together and eventually we had to institute a rule about only playing with your own willie and nobody else's Grin

It soon passed.
The oldest two are now both teenagers and the most paranoidly private people you can ever meet. I do my very best to not think about what goes on in the privacy of their own bedrooms....

Merryoldgoat · 04/05/2018 10:35

Just adding a ‘totally normal’ to the crowd:

Mine used to constantly play with his around that age. He’s 5 now and it’s not a ‘priority’ anymore - he’s all about cars.

DairyisClosed · 04/05/2018 10:36

Normal. Mine has figured out how to make his wiggle and is constantly wanting to show it off.

LittleLionMansMummy · 04/05/2018 10:40

Entirely normal. Except that my ds used to get quite distressed that it was 'blowing up' and we had the opposite worry about convincing him it was in fact normal and healthy! He still says and does strange things with it now and he's 7! Their fascination with it starts early and lasts forever so get used to it! Grin

beyondthesky · 04/05/2018 10:42

Perfectly normal. Mine used to say 'oops my willy's out again'!

BrazzleDazzleDay · 04/05/2018 10:49

I think ds favourite thing about toilet training has been getting to play with/hold his all the time, at this point i'm thinking he may well grow up to be one of those penis puppeteers.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 04/05/2018 10:50

It's entirely normal. A 3 yr old doesn't know a willy is sexual. It's just another body part to him.
However I would distract him when he does it. Don't make a big deal of it but take his mind off it.
This is around the age they need to learn that their privates are private and their body parts are theirs alone and not for anyone else to touch etc.

ASecondMushroom · 04/05/2018 10:59

My DS (4) drew a picture of his and wanted to take it into school to show his friends. He was very disappointed when I caught him putting it in his book bag and made him leave it at home Grin

MamTDM · 04/05/2018 11:06

Mine wasn't long out of nappies at that age and I was forever hoiking up the backs of his trousers and telling him he had builder's bum. In the middle of Tesco one day, he pipes up behind me with a voice like a foghorn: 'Mummy, LOOK - I've got builder's willy!' Blush

KoshaMangsho · 04/05/2018 16:46

Another mum of more than one boy who has to introduce the ‘you can’t play with your brother’s willy’ rule. To the chorus of ‘why not Mummy? I don’t mind!’

autumnboys · 04/05/2018 16:49

I’m having flashbacks to my three at that age now. Totally normal. Smile

Original poster
hungryhungryhippo8 · 04/05/2018 16:58

Hahah! Thanks for the reassurance and the stories.

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 04/05/2018 16:58

"Mummy, my willy's all massive!"

Normal.

FranticallyPeaceful · 04/05/2018 17:03

Veeeeeeery normal behaviour.

And @RatRolyPoly Grin word for word my son said that! Haha

“When I do this my willy goes big”

“Touch this. Look what it does”

“When I wake up my willy stretches when I do”

“I can make it go up and down”

I could go on! It’s normal. They really don’t understand that it’s inappropriate until they understand what sex is and such

FranticallyPeaceful · 04/05/2018 17:04

Also lol @DairyisClosed Smile the willy-dance. We know it well!

NellytheElephant18 · 04/05/2018 17:07

My DS who has just turned 4, hangs his goggles on his whilst getting changed for swimming and parades up and down. I hope he outgrows this particular party trick Hmm

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