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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is why more parents don’t volunteer

243 replies

Hoppinggreen · 04/05/2018 09:36

So DH has been asked by a teacher (via DS) to help with a certain after school club where he has expertise. He is happy to do it and will finish work early that day to do it. So far so good BUT Aibu to think that the hoops he has to jump through to do it are a bit ott?
Firstly he has had to fill in a 10 page document, then he has to have a DBS, then he has to complete an online safeguarding course, attend an induction in School and present 2 forms of ID “to make sure he is who he says he is”
DH works on a govt contract and has high level security and 2 current DBS certs ( one less than 6 months old). We have also had children at the school for the past 8 years and I am well known to the school as well ( for the right reasons!). He has volunteered there before but as it was over 12 months ago he has to do all this for 1 hour once a week where he will be accompanied by a teacher anyway.
He works full time, some times with long hours and is a highly paid expert in this subject - if I hadn’t offered to sort most of this out for him I doubt he would be bothering
So Aibu to think this is a bit excessive? What do other schools do?
I know that safeguarding is important but all this will tell them is that he has no convictions, nothing else.

OP posts:
Tiredtomybones · 04/05/2018 11:05

Yanbu.

upsideup · 04/05/2018 11:11

you can also see how it could put off people who are actively looking to target vulnerable people/children.

I dont think it would, filling out forms would'nt put off someone who was actively looking to target vunerable children at all.
Its only going to discourage normal parents who have no ulterior motive for agreeing to volunteer at the school.

FluffyHippo · 04/05/2018 11:13

Hoppinggreen, yeah, I'm triggered all right.

Triggered by the casual attitude that so many people - especially some parents - have to the importance of keeping children safe. I see the results of that attitude all the time. Why can't people see how fucking important it is to protect our children and how - gasp! - it might require some effort on all our parts...

But no. Much easier to palm it off on to other people and then lay into them when something goes wrong than to actually stop and think why you've been asked to fill in some forms. Jesus!

echt · 04/05/2018 11:19

So DH has been asked by a teacher (via DS) to help with a certain after school club where he has expertise. He is happy to do it and will finish work early that day to do it. So far so good BUT Aibu to think that the hoops he has to jump through to do it are a bit ott?
Firstly he has had to fill in a 10 page document, then he has to have a DBS, then he has to complete an online safeguarding course, attend an induction in School and present 2 forms of ID “to make sure he is who he says he is

That's the law. Which bit of the law do you suggest the school skip for your DH?

DH works on a govt contract and has high level security and 2 current DBS certs ( one less than 6 months old)

Joined up thinking needed , though the school will probably not have authority/discretion here.

We have also had children at the school for the past 8 years and I am well known to the school as well ( for the right reasons!)

Irrelevant. Don't you think pervs have good form?

He has volunteered there before but as it was over 12 months ago he has to do all this for 1 hour once a week where he will be accompanied by a teacher anyway.

The circumstances have changed. Time has passed.

He works full time, some times with long hours and is a highly paid expert in this subject
So what?

if I hadn’t offered to sort most of this out for him I doubt he would be bothering
So he is condescending to volunteer when you do all the work? And you still present this as him being all that? Give your head a wobble.

I know that safeguarding is important but all this will tell them is that he has no convictions, nothing else

So why are you bothering ? It is the case and the schools are saddled with it. You come over as massively patronising, that the school should be grateful. They have to treat everyone the same.

Dergadgeghead · 04/05/2018 11:19

Upside up had it.

The forms are just arse-covering so if anything goes wrong no blame is laid on the school and they can wring their hands with the rest of us.

JacquesHammer · 04/05/2018 11:20

But no. Much easier to palm it off on to other people and then lay into them when something goes wrong than to actually stop and think why you've been asked to fill in some forms. Jesus!

Have you missed all the parts where OP said she is filling in the forms?

This is how it works in my council: -

You get an appointment at the Head Office. They offer appointments on 3 days a week between 10 and 2.
You go and sit and fill in all the forms.
You have to go back and pick up your certificate - they won't post it out.
It currently takes them 9 weeks to process a DBS

I have 3 running concurrently because they won't transfer them.

THAT is what is nonsensical. I love volunteering but I'm gradually scaling back because of the difficulty OUR council makes to actually get a check done.

Dergadgeghead · 04/05/2018 11:21

has it

Lethaldrizzle · 04/05/2018 11:24

I'd be put off by that much paperwork

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/05/2018 11:29

So putting aside all the name calling and hysteria and the horrible attacks on my lovely DH who has done nothing other than to agree to go and help at school it appears that in fact the system DOES put some people off

OP posts:
echt · 04/05/2018 11:29

The forms are just arse-covering so if anything goes wrong no blame is laid on the school and they can wring their hands with the rest of us

So what would be the better way?

birdsdestiny · 04/05/2018 11:30

I know lots of people who volunteer with children, as I do myself. Not one complained about the dbs check, they did it and then took up their volunteering role. I know lots and lots of people who complain about the paperwork and don't go any further. Which one would I want working with my child?, tricky one. Safeguarding children takes effort and lots of times we as a society still fuck it up. Not putting the effort isn't really the solution.

TheStoic · 04/05/2018 11:31

I’m glad it puts some people off. Sorts the wheat from the chaff.

Skarossinkplunger · 04/05/2018 11:31

I’m not sure about the 10 document but the rest is right. Schools can become overzealous, though. As a social worker there was one school who would not let me in as they haven’t seen my DBS, even though I was DBS checked by the Council I worked for, registered with the HCPC and had my Council ID. My manager refused to allow them to look at my DBS and a huge row ensued that had to be settled by the Cheif Exec!

Fossie · 04/05/2018 11:32

If you get a DBS check as a volunteer (which is free) from the school and register it online within a certain number of days of actually receiving it, it will be renewed for you free online thereafter. If you volunteer somewhere else the new organisation can check online that the DBS is in place. If you need a DBS for a paid job though this would need a new one. It has helped me in volunteer work in more than one setting and even in my children’s school I didn’t need to keep renewing every 3 years. It even helped getting paid work as the newpotential employer could check my volunteer DBS online to start with before employment and then they sorted out the new DBS once appointed.

echt · 04/05/2018 11:33

To all those who it's too fucking much........

What checks would you want to have had in place if your child was assaulted/raped/killed by a volunteer?

JacquesHammer · 04/05/2018 11:34

Which one would I want working with my child?

But you see that's the thing. There are regularly droves of clubs shutting around here and the reason is ALWAYS cited as lack of volunteers.

So a system that works to safeguard children but doesn't put off people would be a great start.

Certainly anecdotally speaking - more variety in appointments. Posting the DBS certificate out would make it immensely easier for me.

I absolutely agree that checks should be in place. But three DBS running at the same time give or take a few months for three roles within 2 miles of each other is crackers.

Northernparent68 · 04/05/2018 11:36

But it does n’t keep children safe, a lot of people who abuse children pass the DRS. Reference was paid to the Pakistani grooming gangs, but they were n’t working with children

JacquesHammer · 04/05/2018 11:36

What checks would you want to have had in place if your child was assaulted/raped/killed by a volunteer?

Do you honestly think DBS checks stop that? All DBS means is that nothing is on record/nothing has occured at the time of the check. It is a fairly blunt instrument, so to suggest that they stop issues is naive.

I absolutely agree that the basic checks need to be in place. I have them. Three of them.

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 11:38

What checks would you want to have had in place if your child was assaulted/raped/killed by a volunteer?

ones that help, and not box ticking bullshit that makes not the slightest difference.

birdsdestiny · 04/05/2018 11:40

Please tell us what that check would be.

Dergadgeghead · 04/05/2018 11:40

Well the law is the law, I don't suppose there's any harm in imposing checks.

More useful for curbing new/non-convicted offenders would be ensuring there are witnesses at all times. No one-on-ones. Multiple adults and multiple children at all times, and at the very least, pair vs multiple (or multiple vs pair) to reduce chance of collusion.

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 04/05/2018 11:41

I see the damage abuse - especially sexual abuse - does to kids in my job

It sounds like it's getting you down as you're being unnecessarily aggressive - no amount of forms will stop someone from attacking/abusing a kid (as I'm sure you know).

Have a brew, chill out & maybe have a chat with someone if it's getting on top of you....

echt · 04/05/2018 11:42

ones that help, and not box ticking bullshit that makes not the slightest difference

Such as?

birdsdestiny · 04/05/2018 11:42

I agree, and how would the people who compain about paperwork feel about having to always have a supervisor.

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 04/05/2018 11:44

The attitude of smug idiots saying things like "if you don't like it, don't volunteer" is what puts more volunteers off TBH.

I don't mind putting myself out for the kids, but it's when arsehole parents take you for granted or take the piss that I get annoyed.