AIBU?

[TROUBLEDMAM]

I don't want to be with my wife anymore
But I'm not strong enough to leave her
I do love her so much so it will break my heart.
I have an emotionally unstable personality disorder so I'm difficult to be with.

I just feel like my wife has said too much hurtful things to me when she's mad at me
And I'm suppose to just get over it because the cause of our argument was down to my personality disorder, which takes me to my bed when I can't handle things and it's not good.

This leaves her dealing with MY children and housework etc and by gum doesn't she make sure I know it.

I work on myself and controlling myself all the time but we just moved house so stress levels are high.

I really want to build my strength and not relay on her oh my mother who completely takes her side and make her leave

I don't want to be with anyone again ever

Am I been unreasonable to do this to her?

I just don't know what to do
Any advice? Please

What treatment have you had for the personality disorder?

Sit down with her and talk. Running away from something that could possibly be worked out through discussion and listening is not the way. How does she feel? Apart from tired! Have you sought outside help for your condition?

Have you considered counselling?

I was having councilling until I moved and now I'm just setting it up again through new drs etc

We can not afford to go to marriage councilling

Medication?

A divorce may cost more than counselling. Could CAB point you in the right direction?

Well she said that she hates me and I was the biggest mistake of her life.
I'm the world mother in the world and she's phoning social services.
She's packed all her things to leave.
She called me a fat lazy cunt.
I'd saved up the very small amount of money a week and finally had enough to get my hair done at the hair dressers
She took my money and bought beers and weed and said I'd drove her too it.
She threatened to battered me.
Grabbed me about and head butted me

This was the last time
But this has happened nearly two weekly now for about a year

I take medication yes
I take anti depressants and have done for years
Recently changed to news one

I don't need to worry about a divorce
I don't plan on been with anyone or getting married again ever

Worst*
She never leaves

This really sounds like an abusive relationship. You may well have mental health problems, but that does not men your money should be taken for boozer and weed. Yes, you may be hard to live with, but she doesn't sound exactly easy to live with. If you leave, you may well fine your mental health improves!

That post of mine was overtaken by typos, but you get what I mean!

Back to GP for review.
End this relationship. Nobody should threaten you, hurt you and take your money to spend on illegal drugs.
Get out and get well.

You're being emotionally and physically abused and absolutely nothing justifies that, including mental health issues that aren't your fault and don't diminish your worth as a human being. No one deserves abuse and YANBU in the slightest.

You have no idea
I've been worn down so badly I cannot just simply leave
It's not going to be that easy

And she's "never punched me" "never broken a bone" "never made me bleed"

I tried to tell my mam once that she'd been hurting me and she took the phone off me she then when on to tell my mam
"Well I lost my temper and yes I booted her in the leg and grabbed her face and neck
But she pushes me so far and I lost my temper, I know I shouldn't off but you know what she's like"

After continually phoning my mam and telling her how much I do her head in. I've lost my once close relationship with her and she doesn't believe anything.

My bestest friend is a social worker and I can't speak to her because my wife says she will tell her the truth she has this fixation with the word TRUTH she is only ever saying or speaking the truth she's never been horrible to me calling me a lazy fat cunt she's just telling me the truth

She ALWAYS says she's going to leave me and knows I'm really insecure about it and basically she lives in our house but out of bin bags very rarely are her clothes in the wardrobe
She never leaves !!!!

She wants all this arguing to stop now
(For now, this week)
So I'm expected to just forget everything

She even told me she's chatting to other girls so when she leaves she got plenty of girls to shag about with

The other thing she ALWAYS says is how amazing her life will be without me and my fucking kids
She won't have to look after them or me or use her money for us
She can be single shag about n be happy

All she's ever wanted is a family and a baby of her own

I feel so ground down - if I didn't have kids I wouldn't be worried

You don't have to punch someone to be abusive.

I will have to just take the blame
And the fall out
As she tells it
It's my fault I'm the lazy mental one
No one will believe anything I've said
Not that it matters as much to me as it does to her for some reason

Let's start with the fact that people who have never met you believe you! I believe you! People who you seek help from in real life will believe you too!

Do you think?
Even tho I've got BPD

Thebigfatmermaid
I don't know who to seek help from
I really do feel stuck
I was hoping to get some help on here as a last resort

You could try these people OP. They have a confidential helpline:
www.mankind.org.uk

I'm a woman

Sorry OP I completely misread your name and thought it said 'troubled man'. My extreme apologies.

Try this one then perhaps?
www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk