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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU TO throw all her junk onto her bed?

117 replies

WestEndVBroadway · 03/05/2018 20:50

Really fed up with trying to get my DD to tidy her room . I just found 6 (yes 6) pairs of pyjamas on her bedroom floor or thrown on a chair. Her dressing table and chest of drawers were littered with odds and sods and rubbish such as crisp wrappers and tissues. I just scooped up everything that should not have been there, and dumped it in her bed. She is now sulking that I touched her stuff. I told her that as she HAS to tidy up now she may as well do it properly.

OP posts:
anon99827 · 03/05/2018 20:51

Good! My mum used to give us 2 hours to tidy it or it all went in black bags and in the bin lol

wombatron · 03/05/2018 20:54

Also had the black bag treatment! Didn't do any harm and made me think twice about being a slob.

Singlenotsingle · 03/05/2018 20:55

Sometimes it went in the bed, sometimes in the bin! Depended how cross I was!

MrsExpo · 03/05/2018 20:56

YANBU. Keep up the tough live actions until she gets the message ........

Bojangles33 · 03/05/2018 20:56

How old is she?

frenchfancy · 03/05/2018 20:57

If she is 8 YANBU if she is 18 YABVU

molemonkey · 03/05/2018 21:07

I do this to my 13yr old ds, he has clean and dirty clothes all mixed up on the floor, empty water bottles, crisp and chocolate packets and his onesies and dressing gown thrown in a heap!
On average I need to throw everything on his bed every 2 weeks! He promises to try harder but it doesn't last.
I never look under the bed anymore and when I can't stand to look at the mess I just shut the door.
He always makes his bed and draws back his curtains so i have hope that he won't live in a shit tip for ever

Original poster
WestEndVBroadway · 03/05/2018 21:11

Frenchfancy She is 16. Does being 18 mean that you no longer have to show respect and help out around the house?

OP posts:
reetgood · 03/05/2018 21:15

At 16 her room is her business pretty much. Having responsibility for your own space. If stuff gets left round the house, that’s when it gets dumped. That’s respecting other people’s stuff.

Nothisispatrick · 03/05/2018 21:15

Maybe stay out of her room then it won't bother you

DownAtFraggleRock · 03/05/2018 21:17

My room was a total shit tip at her age, and older. If it's any consolation I turned into a really tidy, clean adult Grin

frenchfancy · 03/05/2018 21:20

At 16 you should keep out of her room.

Leeds2 · 03/05/2018 21:28

I think you should keep out of her bedroom. Her room, hers to keep as she sees fit.
Different if she is messing up a family room, imo.

BMW6 · 03/05/2018 21:31

I think if I were you I would not set foot in her room at all for anything.
Only wash stuff of hers that is in the laundry basket. Point to her pile of clean clothes and tell her she has 10 minutes to take to her room or it will be thrown out (and not replaced by anyone but her)

Original poster
WestEndVBroadway · 03/05/2018 21:31

I may well consider it her room when she starts paying housekeeping. I go into it to find my stuff that she has helped herself to. She has no qualms about coming into my room.

OP posts:
Maybe83 · 03/05/2018 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

speakout · 03/05/2018 21:35

I have a 17 yo.

Her room is mostly a bomb site. Dirty clothes, clean clothes, papers books , empty juice bottles, crisp bags.

But she works hard, weekend job, studying hard at school. Gives me no trouble, is head girl at school, lovely friends. Polite and cheerful.

I don;t give a rat's behind about her room. It;s her room- I simply close the door.

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 21:37

At 16 I had to often jump from the doorway to get to my bed. Rules were no cups, plates, food to be left in there, don't complain to me if you can't find something, you do your own laundry because I'm not wading through that and if your friends come round I'm sending them straight up to your room. I'm a pretty tidy adult.

NapQueen · 03/05/2018 21:38

Your problem is she takes your stuff (or stuff that belongs in the communal parts of the house). If she wants to live in a sespit then let her.

Mrscog · 03/05/2018 21:38

Leave her alone, my mum used to bitch about my room. It just made me think ‘fuck off you old bag’. Shut the door and forget about it.

Taking your stuff is different, but don’t know how you deal with that - I did have respect for other people’s stuff.

dayinlifeof · 03/05/2018 21:42

Just shut the door and leave it, it's her room. I went through all this with my daughter but now she's left home and her room is immaculate. As long as she kept the rest of the house tidy I never bothered what her room was like as long as she had no dirty plates etc in there.

Maybe83 · 03/05/2018 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peeriebear · 03/05/2018 21:44

My DD is 16 and her shit tip is her business... Apart from the absolute RAFT of food rubbish under her bed which I found when retrieving my charger a few weeks ago. Whole multipacks of crisps, biscuits, bars, jaffa cakes, dry crackers?! Anything and everything. Some still with food in. That shit is not on. I don't want a pest infestation, mould and smells. I dumped it all on her bed apart from the grotty food bits. Took a photo and sent her it

speakout · 03/05/2018 21:50

Took a photo and sent her it

That's horrible.

Theimpossiblegirl · 03/05/2018 21:52

DD is exactly the same, just leaves stuff all over her floor and 'doesn't have time' to tidy her room. It's amazing how quickly she can do it if she wants to go on a sleepover or have someone round though. I just say no mum's taxi or people round if it's a tip. We live rurally so she relies on my good nature for lifts.

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