To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

[Mamabear1475]

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

RLOU88 - if it helps any my second birth was ALOT better than my first. It really is luck of the draw. Don’t worry!

Like a lighter to your bits when crowning!!! Then the biggest feeling of relief once out!!!

I do find it amazing that people don’t pass out from the pain, surely if it was happening to a diff part of you you would

Me too. I vividly recall how I felt when I asked the nurse to shoot me and meant it whole heartedly. I would have happily knocked myself out a wall if I could have reached one (induction so hooked up and waiting to go into theatre and the god that was the anaesthetist so couldn't move)

As a midwife and having given birth four times, no two women are the same and it's not for any scaremongers to tell them your horror story!! Because everybody seems to want to tell you theirs. Not very friendly.
Your experience will not be hers and not for anyone to expect otherwise!
Why don't you encourage her to prepare in a positive light, explain as she will already know, that it's an intermittent tightening followed by rest, it's not like a toothache is it? Relax by controlled breathing to get through the contractions. NO screaming, it just tenses you and scares others. There'll be a gorgeous baby at the end and all of the labour will evaporate. Anything else can be dealt with in confidence away from scaremongers. Unless you start dwelling big time on stuff....

I can describe it.

It felt like I was being ripped open.
On a scale of 1-10 the pain was 200.
I though you died before pain got that bad.

Not kidding. DD is an only child for a reason

The thing that shocked me the most was the feeling of the baby in my vagina. I just remember screaming that "there is a pumpkin in my arse!" It really was the strangest thing. It actually does feel like I was trying to shit a huge ball.

I was in labour for four days with a back to back baby so by this point I think I had tipped over the edge into insanity.

And for any soon to be FTMs reading this thread I cannot stress the following point enough:

ASK FOR AN EPIDURAL.

Seriously, you don't get a badge at the end for going drug free, take the help. As soon as they pop that beautiful little gorgeous needle into your spine the pain vanishes into the ether. I nearly cried with gratitude for my anaesthetist when he handed me that little BOLUS button.

I have had worse pain than child birth ( perforated eardrum, slipped discs, sciatica frozen shoulder, dry socket , mastitis...). The thing about childbirth is that it does come to an end and the relief is bliss. I had 2 births without any pain relief and had done some hypnobirthing that I think helped with my mindset. I see my list and I realise I have been unlucky.

I have what are apparently know as 'silent' labours, which means I don't feel the contractions at all, just a little bit of tightening, I didn't realise I was in labour until I was 7cm with both DC, DC1 I was in for an obstetrics appointment, stood up to see the the Obs, my waters broke all over the waiting room and when she examined me I was 7cm, strolled through to the delivery suite then sat around reading the paper for a couple of hours saying to DH, 'Im sure I'm meant to be doing something'. Midwife let me know when it was time to push, crowning was a bit stingy but not too bad. No stiches, tears or grazes.

DD homebirth, midwife said to call if I felt anything given how DS' birth went. Felt a bit twingey so she came over, 7cm again so she stayed, felt like a total fraud as I was just sitting round drinking tea, even suggested to her we put a film on to pass the time, when I got to 9cm she called the other Midwife, and after about 20 mins, I stood up, let out a roar, and out shot DD, the midwives weren't expecting it as they had to run across the room to catch her. No pain or pushing at all.

So even though rare, it can be a pain-free experience (and I was expecting it to be utterly horrendous).

Reading these makes me realise how very, very, lucky I am!

I’d tell her to prepare for anything. Practice the breathing exercises but opt for the labour ward (home from home room if they have it) so you have the option of pain relief if you find you need it. My worst nightmare was being stuck in the Midwife unit with only gas and air!

My labour was horrific and I thought I was going to die. In fact I’d have asked someone to kill me, it was that painful. Worst moment was the epidural failing and I thought I was going to have to carry on like that. Fortunately consultant anaesthetist arrived and sorted it. Birth itself total anticlimax and I got handed small screamy thing covered in my blood.

If I had another I’d go for c section.

Well of course it fucking hurts - try stretching your pussy to 9cm or so - however ' funnily enough ' there's loads of different pain management options from hypnobirthing gas diamorphine and epidural so keep calm and carry on

I didn’t think labour/childbirth was so bad. Breastfeeding on the other hand!! Work of the devil that is 😭😭

I think I must have had silent labours, no contractions, slight back ache but not painful at all. The pushing bit was ok, not painful, and I didn't have any pain relief. I was almost sent home as the midwives didn't think I was in labour.

Well for me it was like an uncontrollable torture .I felt like I was in a saw film

@Ilikeyourhairyhands sounds like both my experiences. I had them at home in the water, little glass of champers whilst I waited for the pool to be filled, 10cm when measured. I kept saying to the midwife, sure I just need a poo and I’ll be fine 😂 I’d do that any day over breastfeeding which used to have me crying and biting down on something every single time 🙈

I’m pregnant with my third and due in September, what’s the betting I have a hellish experience this time!

My last one was the worst. Never.ever.again.

It overtook me. Overwhelmed me. No gap in the contractions for an hour (induction). I thought i was going to die. I wanted to die. When i could muster enough air and energy to speak I gasped a request to be knocked out. 'Please just knock me out i can't take anymore'. I meant with something heavy and hard not drugs. I meant it. I didn't even have the energy to cry or shout out with the pain. Never fucking again.

Ha Shoes, I had a little nip of whisky on the veranda whilst I was waiting for DD to put in an appearance.

I also found breastfeeding a doddle.

And pregnancy.

I thought I'd aced the motherhood thing like the smuggest of smug people.

Parenting older children though (one with ASD), has been extremely challenging.

So that'll learn me!

I remember being in the shower and punching the wall to try to distract myself. The best thing I can say about it is that at least it's intermittent..
It's like period pain x 500 until it's just completely unbearable, then it's a relief to need to push cause you can focus on that. Fun times.

Like super strong squeezing period pains in waves.

Pushing is so hard to explain though but it is vivid in my mind, the intense feeling, the ring of fire, there's no pain like that.

@Ilikeyourhairyhands

My girls are 10 and 7 now so I’m starting from scratch again but newborns are so much easier than hormonal stroppy girls 🙈🙈🙈

Bad period pain X 5000? I remember when I had a strangulated hernia 6 years ago (very painful but not as painful as labour) the paramedic asked if I had children. When I said yes,he said how bad is the pain compared to labour,as that is probably the worst pain you've ever experienced? He wasn't wrong. I said it was about half as bad as labour pain.

What’s the point in telling her, I’ve known some women say it’s not that bad and it happened quickly. Not mine, I thought that maybe might hip was going to break and that as previously mentioned that someone was hitting me with an axe round the back every minute for 36 hours

The worst thing about it is when you just want it to stop, but you can't and you know it's only going to get worse!! There's literally no going back haha! But the relief when they're out is awesome. The intense stinging after though isn't so nice but hormones help with that, though I did have a 3rd degree tear and two 2nd degrees.

I think this thread shows that actually women are pretty good at describing the pain of labour.

Mine was nowhere near as bad as 90% of these, but I've had other pains that have left me unconscious in a heap on the floor, and I assume that for many women that's how painful labour can be - only it goes on for much longer.

OP, the way i explained it to everyone that asked me was "it felt like my fanny was on fire..."