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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at this?

278 replies

upsideup · 03/05/2018 17:47

DS1 has two friends round for dinner tonight, ones 8 and ones 9 and they have gone outside to play with bikes/scooters etc and both of his friends dont own a bike and have never been taught to ride one before and its not just them they all mentioned several other friends who cant as well.
I thought riding a bike was a still a pretty normal skill that all children had learnt to do by now.

AIBU to be shocked at this? Do most 8/9 year olds not know how to ride a bike?

OP posts:
Scotland32 · 04/05/2018 19:09

Dullest AIBU question ever!

ZX81user · 04/05/2018 19:16

This is another of those weird MN things. In my circles all children are riding a bike and swimming by 6 or occasionally 7

TheHandmaidsTail · 04/05/2018 19:22

I can't get mine to cycle without stabilizers. DD1 is 9 and 5ft tall Hmm so looks bizarre but screams when we take them off.

DD2 better at 6 but isn't that interested.

DS1 got him a balance bike first, not interested, bike with stabilisers, not interested...

We have spent a fortune of non ridden bikes. However, we can't get them all to the park in the car, we live on a bloody big hill, no one else except older boys use their bikes... so all 3 have scooters that they love and we take them if we are out and about they collapse so much easier to transport and less screaming.

Jenasaurus · 04/05/2018 19:23

I was surprised to learn that so many children over 12 cant swim but I guess things change

snufflehuff · 04/05/2018 19:29

I'm in my 30s and never learnt to ride a bike. It never interested me.

Annette69 · 04/05/2018 19:34

I agree with the OP, my two boys learnt at 5 and we will teach our daughter the same. I would find it unusual that children of that age can’t ride a bike. The same goes with swimming, my husband can’t swim and I find it strange he wasn’t taught.

NatalieRushman · 04/05/2018 19:35

PinkCalluna I learnt to swim during school swimming lessons! My parents spent hundreds of pounds on years of lessons, before finally giving up and accepting I'd never learn to swim. Then I started high school and promptly learnt to swim in school swimming lessons Grin

As for cycling - I learnt to ride a bike at the age of 3 in about 10 minutes. My sister still can't ride a bike (not for lack of trying) but learnt to swim the first time she entered a pool, and swam for our city in high school. It's almost as though different people have different talents...

caringcarer · 04/05/2018 19:45

Many kids spend a lot of time inside on Ipads gaming now so not so much playing out side on bikes going on. My dd could ride bike at 6 but was taken out a lot to practice.

triwarrior · 04/05/2018 19:49

I’m surprised by the responses, too, and actually a little depressed. It makes me sad to hear that children are being discouraged from cycling on the grounds of it being “dangerous”. Even if you live somewhere that isn’t conducive to biking right outside your house, surely there’s a park, field, bike lane or some such nearby? What about if you go on holiday?

I’m thinking back with nostalgia to when I was a kid, biking all round our estate (as in urban, council estate, not massive country pile 😄). I loved the sense of freedom it gave me. All of our kids cycle, despite complaints when we have to ride uphill at the end to get home. I’m very fortunate, we live in a place that has a nationally-renowned network of bike paths. I couldn’t imagine them not being able to cycle.

Laniakea · 04/05/2018 19:49

I hate cycling, it's something I've left entirely to dh

dd1 - learnt to ride properly & promptly had her bike stolen. I didn't replace it
ds1 - autistic & dyspraxic he's 11 & has just mastered a scooter, he quite likes the idea of cycling but not enough to be willing to try
dd2 - has a bike & can ride it but refuses to even contemplate taking the stabilisers off (she's 9, it's a bit embarrassing)
ds2 - has a bike, won't ride it (he's 7) if an activity doesn't involve a ball he isn't really interested.

They all swim really well Grin

tbh there is nowhere locally I'd be willing to let them ride - so when they want to it means putting the bikes in the car & dh driving them to the big park (and after 15 minutes one or other will have been upset by something a demand to go home - happy days!). The lack of spontaneity doesn't help. There's no way I'd want them riding on the road even if they were proficient & we walk everywhere so it isn't useful as a means transport either.

Laniakea · 04/05/2018 19:51

we'd need a bus to take us, four kids & six bikes on holiday!

(we stick to beaches, swimming & body boarding :) )

singledadstu · 04/05/2018 19:54

My two youngest can’t ride (9&7). Nowhere for them to learn that’s not a jaunt. Can’t get bikes in a car. The pavement is narrow, the road is deadly. My older two learnt on caravan parks while we had a tourer. But yes I wish It was easier to take them somewhere.

In the down side we have locally a group of young teens riding three or four astride causing traffic dangers. Doing stunts purposely devised to be daring for Fb including wheelies in the middle of two way traffic. Some kids shouldn’t have learned.

VikingBlonde · 04/05/2018 19:54

NAtalie It's almost as though different people have different talents... Grin

DS still can't aged 6, DD learnt (as she seems to with everything) in a few minutes flat, DSD2 managed it aged 4 and DSD1 before I knew her (so pre 6). I wish DS could just get it, he's a wizz on a scooter. Am

Dutifully heading to cycling lessons with DS ,DD DSD1+2 in tow to TRY AGAIN with DS. IF he doesn't get it I think I might just get him a skateboard and leave him to it. Family bike rides are fun but only until someone falls off. Which with 4 kids someone INEVITABLY does.

StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome · 04/05/2018 19:55

That’s just being nasty. That is all. Not everyone is good at everything. Get over yourself

Donthate · 04/05/2018 19:55

I’m surprised too. Ds could ride far too confidently at 3 and dd at 4. All thanks to balance bikes. My Dutch best friend is appalled if anyone over the age of 6 (barring lots of the reasons mentioned) can’t ride confidently.

Mummadeeze · 04/05/2018 19:59

What do you need to learn a bike for?! It hasn’t entered my head to teach my daughter to cycle. She has a scooter and we walk places. I would never let her cycle on the roads as I have seen several cyclists killed in accidents in London. Plus I don’t have a bike so we couldn’t ride together. I don’t find it strange at all personally. It isn’t an essential life skill!

Feodora · 04/05/2018 20:00

I didn’t learn to ride my bike until I was age 8. This was 1979. I know I was one of the last of my friends to learn.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 04/05/2018 20:03

This is another of those weird MN things. In my circles all children are riding a bike and swimming by 6 or occasionally 7
Yes mn is like a parallel universe sometimes. My lot all learnt at age 3/4.
Most children near me ride a bike, it's the main mode of transport for secondary school. The boys especially, ride along the streets doing their wheelies. I don't think scooters would quite cut it at that age Grin
I am shocked reading this and I don't think living in a city is an excuse as there are parks etc, also price, as pp said, you can get a cheap bike for next to nothing. Special needs aside I don't get why you wouldn't teach your kids Confused

Laniakea · 04/05/2018 20:05

that's the point, family bike rides do not sound fun to me & I resent spending money on bikes & storing them is an utter PITA. DD1 did a bikeability course which she enjoyed but hasn't led to a desire to cycle anywhere. I wouldn't pay for any other the others to do it unless they were incredibly keen.

Swimming is really important to me & we've spent a fortune on swimming lessons & holidays etc. I grew up around the sea & sailing, I can't imagine not being able to swim.

I don't think I've ridden a bike more than 3 or 4 times in my life. I put in a similar category to horse riding - fun if you like that sort of thing but hardly essential.

HalleLouja · 04/05/2018 20:06

My little brother never learnt to ride a bike. My other brother and I did. Not sure why....

moosemama · 04/05/2018 20:14

Neither of my ds’s (16 and 14) can ride a bike. Both had multiple bikes, but never mastered it. Ds1 has ASD, hypotonia and poor co-ordination and ds2 turned out to have a physical disability we were unaware of when he was younger. We have been judged by other parents locally who are unaware of the reasons why they don’t cycle, particularly around the time school did cycling proficiency, as it was more obvious to everyone then.

Dd (9) had her first bike at the age of 4 and learned really quickly, but doesn’t really enjoy it and prefers her scooter. She is very active and fit, does lots of sport, loves swimming, but just doesn’t enjoy cycling - her choice.

Dh and I can both cycle and dh cycled his commute for years, only stopping when his job changed earlier this year. So it’s not like they’ve been set a bad example.

VikingBlonde · 04/05/2018 20:34

Yes well in Sweden kids learn to cross country ski faster than ride bikes because that's how you get about in the winter in rural parts. In Berlin, bikes are the mode of transport for most, in London I cycled to work but it's deadly dangerous and even as a cyclist I could not be arsed dragging bikes and kids to park even though park was close. Scooters are easier on buses and in cars. In an ideal world everyone would be able to ride a bike but it's not that unusual to not be able to I don't think...

Shaboohshoobah1 · 04/05/2018 20:39

But cycling is so much fun! I think it’s a life skill too - and even if you don’t have anywhere safe to do it, once you learn you don’t forget, so it’s worth getting kids to learn when they’re young if possible, so they can pick it up again when they’re older.
It’s brilliant for exploring, holidays, exercise - my husband and I go loads, and our kids come out with us (on the quieter roads- obviously it depends where you live) and it’s a great, free activity (once you have got past the initial cost - their bikes were about £200 each but will stay with them til they are about 14 in theory so several years) I appreciate it’s not for everyone, but it just makes me a bit sad that people don’t do it so much anymore as it’s SO GOOD 😊

greenlavender · 04/05/2018 20:46

I can't ride a bike - never learned. And my two best friends who I met independently at Uni, can't either. Mid 50s.

LynetteScavo · 04/05/2018 21:46

Personally I think there are things everybody without special needs should be able to do...swim, read, ride a bike.

Obviously not every child has the opportunity to learn, or adults in their life prepared to persevere in helping them learn.

My DD is severely dyslexic and due to years of dedication from her, me and her teachers, she finally learning to read and write to a level which she can understand what she reads and others can understand what she writes. Not learning toy read and write sufficiently to have a handful of GCSEs at 4+ isn't a choice, although it won't have been easy.

She could ride a bike and swim she'd 5.

How many posters who can't ride a bike or know people who can't ride a bike would be prepared to say the same about literacy?

Personally I think they're all essential skills...obviously not everyone else does.