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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked at this?

278 replies

upsideup · 03/05/2018 17:47

DS1 has two friends round for dinner tonight, ones 8 and ones 9 and they have gone outside to play with bikes/scooters etc and both of his friends dont own a bike and have never been taught to ride one before and its not just them they all mentioned several other friends who cant as well.
I thought riding a bike was a still a pretty normal skill that all children had learnt to do by now.

AIBU to be shocked at this? Do most 8/9 year olds not know how to ride a bike?

OP posts:
Kursk · 04/05/2018 12:54

catinapoolofsunshine

I live in Northern Maine, on a dirt logging 20 miles from town

catinapoolofsunshine · 04/05/2018 13:11

Well then Kursk your chain saws are not a "rural living thing" they are a logging trail in Northern Maine thing.

Claiming using a chainsaw is a basic life skill when talking to people 99.99% of whom (unless you are the most obtuse person ever born) you must know do not also live on dirt roads or logging trails in Northern Maine, invalidates all the other more generalisable points you are trying to make.

You must know that.

catinapoolofsunshine · 04/05/2018 13:13

Its like me claiming that speaking German is a basic life skill. It is for me and my kids. We live in Germany. My kids all spoke fluent German by age 3. Woop de do for us. We live here. I am aware that most MNers live in the UK. Therefore I do not make a list of basic life skills including speaking fluent German when discussing children learning to ride bicycles.

BlueSapp · 04/05/2018 13:25

I think learning to ride a bike is a normal childhood right of passage for want of a better phrase but I can’t understand why lots of kids won’t be able to access this pasttime. My dd is 7 1/2 and I have tried to teach her but she hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet she’s too scarred of falling off but we will persevere because she really wants to, perhaps they just don’t want to aswell

BeyondThePage · 04/05/2018 14:47

if you live in a flat where do you keep the bicycles?

(the reason I say I do not drive rather than can't drive is because I can drive, but my doctor told me not to)

Lifeontheoceanwave · 04/05/2018 15:25

Op I too would be surprised, all kids I know that age can ride a bike, seems the main type of transport for kids round here. What I do find shocking though is kids that can’t swim

murmuration · 04/05/2018 15:36

catinapool - interesting? I say I don't drive, because I functionally dont, here. So people would assume I can't drive? Because I can. And I have a valid license in another country. Just vagaries of laws and finances meant that I only drove in the UK for 12 months before I wasn't allowed to anymore, and by the time I could afford lessons for a UK license I'd gotten busy with other things, chronically ill which limited my time to do things outside of work, and found I can get nearly everywhere I want via public transport anyway (or DH takes us all) and I absolutely hate driving. I want a license only for emergencies.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 04/05/2018 15:38

Same about kids and swimming. Loads can't because it's so pricey to learn these days. I was shocked too.

murmuration · 04/05/2018 15:39

Just because they can't use it now (traffic or whatever) doesn't mean they won't in the future.

But how can they learn if they can't use it now? Like, where to actually learn to ride a bike? (which requires even safer, calmer environments than just 'using' anyway; and I would assume requires at least some element of repetition or regular 'use' for a time least it not be truly learnt) Or maybe I should just start that thread asking that question...

catinapoolofsunshine · 04/05/2018 16:35

murmur and beyond it's a funny one - you can both drive and Eleanor can't, but you all say "I don't drive". I always assume people mean they don't want to! "I don't" has a funny ring to it, and makes it sound like a choice not to, I always think. I didn't get a driving license until I was 25 (failed 6 tests) and always used to say "I keep failing my driving test!" - I never once said "I don't drive" though I sometimes said "I can't". I think even though that's pretty embarrassing I didn't want to sound as if I cba! Maybe that's just me (probably) Wink

catinapoolofsunshine · 04/05/2018 16:47

I think it's because usually "I don't" means you choose to abstain from a vice / something that you think is a bad idea to do or choose not to do "I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't eat wheat, I don't eat after 6pm"

murmuration · 04/05/2018 16:51

catinapool - I guess for me, it is I don't want to! If it was higher on my priorities, I'm sure I'd have a license in a few months. (maybe I even will! I keep feeling like I ought to just go do it). I guess then I'd have to say "I don't like driving", as I'd still take public transport/bike/walk unless there was really no option (like the time we ended up having to get a taxi to the OOH for DD, or, I suppose those very few times every couple years work or some social group has a meeting at an out-of-way place that DH would have otherwise dropped me off at).

I guess "don't" is kind of a catch-all - it can mean "can't" but also "unable to for health reasons", "don't want to" (me), "haven't bothered to get legal yet" (me too), or even "had my license revoked for XYZ reason" - and people may not want to reveal which of those they are! Especially the first and last. So it provides a socially acceptable vague statement that most people don't press.

GrimSqueaker · 04/05/2018 17:01

Oh yeah. My youngest, despite hundreds of pounds of lessons can't swim either yet.

Dyspraxia - giving the mn judgemental crew tut material forever.

Talith · 04/05/2018 17:07

In my experience (aside from a few natural fishies) most kids learn, with a frequent trip to the pool and some lessons, to swim around 7. regardless of money spent on stupid plunging babies into water sessions when they can barely hold their head up yes guilty

expatinscotland · 04/05/2018 17:35

'Same about kids and swimming. Loads can't because it's so pricey to learn these days. I was shocked too.'

Many councils do only one block of swimming, for about a week in like, Y6. Now swimming is something we really went out for but had help because we spend Summers abroad and my sister has a pool and a lot of my family's friends have pools and many now adult children who have worked as lifeguards and swim coaches. But many don't swim now because it is too costly. It's the same with driving, lessons and even the tests are dear, as is getting access to a car for many people, to practise, and insurance for a learner driver.

SweetCheeks1980 · 04/05/2018 17:41

I find it very shocking tbh. Kids usually learn to ride a bike around about the age of four.....but then what's the point when parents won't let them play outside and get dirty anymore.

expatinscotland · 04/05/2018 17:41

'Oh yeah. My youngest, despite hundreds of pounds of lessons can't swim either yet.

Dyspraxia - giving the mn judgemental crew tut material forever.'

My daughter is dyspraxic and only truly learned to swim when she was about 9, and that was with a lot of help. She is now 12 and a good swimmer in both front crawl and breast stroke. Again it helped that my sister has a pool and both her adult daughters were competitive swimmers and also worked as lifeguards who were able to teach her how to do things like flip underwater and roll dive and turn her head to the side to breathe in the front crawl. DS is 9 and just now getting there. But we had to make a choice. We can't afford bikes for them and access to the pool so we chose the pool.

Cherrypieface123 · 04/05/2018 17:43

I find it pretty odd! My eldest could cycle at 4, the youngest at 3. Balance bikes to Isla bikes, no messing with stabilizers. We cycle to school now. Saves money and sets them up with a healthy habit.

expatinscotland · 04/05/2018 17:44

'but then what's the point when parents won't let them play outside and get dirty anymore.'

Of course, it's nothing to do with anyone living in a flat with no garden on a busy road with no place to store bikes and no place safe to practise riding a bike or having to work all kinds of shifts to make ends meet so you're never home when it's light out. Hmm

flissfloss65 · 04/05/2018 17:52

My dc junior school and secondary school both did Cycling Proficiency tests. I think all children took part and borrowed bikes to practise on.

I think it is a lovely skill to have, although my ds prefers walking!

Eveforever · 04/05/2018 17:56

My parents were so risk averse that I wasn't allowed a bike as a child. I learnt to ride on a neighbour's bike around the age of 12.

In a similar vein, I was the parent helper when my daughter's class at school started swimming lessons. I was surprised to learn that only three children in the class, including my daughter, could already swim with some competence. At least half the class needed to wear arm bands at the age of around 9/10. Do people not teach their children to swim, or take them to lessons any more?!

SinceWhenDid · 04/05/2018 17:59

I am surprised as in my experience kids are learning to ride younger and younger. Not unusual for 3 year olds to be able to ride. A fair few 2 year olds and the occasional 1 year old.

Dagnabit · 04/05/2018 18:00

My dd (8) learnt last year - we tried her a few years before but she couldn't get it. Her school does bikeability in Year 4 so she was keen to crack it and is ok now albeit a bit wobbly

Ds (6) isn't interested in the slightest, his first bike was a complete waste! He might want to try eventually so we're keeping dd's old bike, just case...

Loads of kids round here ride bikes so thought it was generally popular to teach your kids.

BlueBug45 · 04/05/2018 18:04

@murmuration lots of English councils do very cheap lessons for adults on learning to ride a bike, bike maintenance and how to get more confident in 2-4 stages on the road. They also do bike hire for adults who want to learn. Some councils also do how to learn to ride a bike lessons for children over 5 before bikeabilty.

While you aren't suppose to ride on the pavement, if you are child under the age of criminal responsibility you can get away with it as long as the pavement isn't busy.

happymumof4crazykids · 04/05/2018 18:10

Ds14 can't ride a bike ds12 can dd4 can dd3 still has stabilisers. Not all children are able to not all children want to. My eldest wants to but has hemiparesis so can't ride a bike.