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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at this?

278 replies

upsideup · 03/05/2018 17:47

DS1 has two friends round for dinner tonight, ones 8 and ones 9 and they have gone outside to play with bikes/scooters etc and both of his friends dont own a bike and have never been taught to ride one before and its not just them they all mentioned several other friends who cant as well.
I thought riding a bike was a still a pretty normal skill that all children had learnt to do by now.

AIBU to be shocked at this? Do most 8/9 year olds not know how to ride a bike?

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 05/05/2018 00:01

Obviously not every child has the opportunity to learn, or adults in their life prepared to persevere in helping them learn.
And that's the crux of the issue. It's too much like hard work to persevere in teaching them to ride a bike, far easier to give them a scooter. But what happens when they go to an activity residential with school and they are the only one who can't ride a bike? I think it's sad.

howrudeforme · 05/05/2018 00:07

Well dyspraxia meant I had to send him to multiple classes before he could ride at 10. Same with laces etc

expatinscotland · 05/05/2018 00:49

'I am shocked reading this and I don't think living in a city is an excuse as there are parks etc, also price, as pp said, you can get a cheap bike for next to nothing. Special needs aside I don't get why you wouldn't teach your kids

Must be nice, to live in that world.

AjasLipstick · 05/05/2018 01:24

All the excuses make me laugh! Roads too busy etc.

We bought our DC bikes and took them on the nearest bike tracks or to the park when they were small. Then, when they got old enough they learned to ride properly and they go everywhere on them.

Abbylee · 05/05/2018 02:44

My dd climbed onto her db's bike at age 3 so often and persistently that i finally strapped a helmet to her head and let her have her way.

I'm close to my 6th decade and still bike and scooter for fun. My swimming skills are family joke. But I made sure that dc swim like fish just like their dad.

Nooo judging, but life skills are beneficial. I was embarrassed by my swimming skills. It was important to spare my dc.

Downtroddenandrough · 05/05/2018 07:17

Upsideup
I fully agree with you. Your not being unreasonable. First of, you can get bikes for £5 at the tip or gumtree and and every town has a park or carpark. I see no excuse for not letting your child have that skill (if the child is interested).

All my boys could ride bikes without stabilisers aged 3. And they love it. (They do have good sense of balance however). But 9 is ridiculous.

BeyondThePage · 05/05/2018 08:30

So people would get a £5 bike off gumtree or the tip -

and store it where?
and teach the kids to cycle without helmets?
and get some more bikes (and helmets) so everyone can cycle together?
and store them where?
and buy lights?
and locks?
and wet weather gear?
(just taking it to the MN extreme where people simply cannot envisage people living different lives to themselves)

AuntLydia · 05/05/2018 08:36

I think it's easier if you just happened to have got them a bike when little. Then rather than suddenly trying to aquire a large bike that introduces sudden storage and transport problems, it just kind of happens slowly. Mine had bikes for their 3rd birthdays. Tiny bikes that were easy to store and sling in the boot to take to the park. They had hand me down helmets from a friend. I've never cycled with them. Now they're older we have a bike rack. DH runs with them or the older ones go out on their own. They don't need lights cos they don't cycle in the dark.

SinceWhenDid · 05/05/2018 08:51

I do understand that some people's situations might make it difficult. We are lucky enough to live in an area where it is easy to get out on bikes.

Our local school has a couple of donated second hand bikes and if there are any kids who cannot ride then they teach them. Every single child in the school can ride a bike.

Isadora666 · 05/05/2018 08:54

I was eight and that was the 80s when it seemed like all kids rode bikes. No special needs I've ever known of, just poor balance and coordination!

Belphegor · 05/05/2018 08:58

"I’m surprised by the responses, too, and actually a little depressed. It makes me sad to hear that children are being discouraged from cycling on the grounds of it being “dangerous”. Even if you live somewhere that isn’t conducive to biking right outside your house, surely there’s a park, field, bike lane or some such nearby? What about if you go on holiday?"

This. But I live in a country that's very outdoorsy, with better weather than the UK and cycling is a way of life. All the neighbourhood kids are out on bikes, I've just been wracking my brains and I can't think of any who don't ride a bike. You can also get pretty inexpensive secondhand bikes so maybe it's a bit more democratic than the UK in that respect, that most (if not all) can afford a bik?

gameNight · 05/05/2018 09:14

I'd be amazed. It seems like a key life skill to me. Both ours could from 3-4.

Our school had all children bring a bike in for a week in Reception. All were riding by the end of the 5 days and loved it.

Yes, it's lazy parenting.

BeyondThePage · 05/05/2018 09:21

I'm 53, I've never ridden a bike, nor ever felt the need to. I live in a city with public transport and am able to walk. Riding a bike is not exactly a key life skill.

In what strange world would my ONLY option be to ride a bicycle that I do not own.

Belindabauer · 05/05/2018 09:23

I got rid of my dcs bikes when I moved house. I don't have anywhere to store them.

murmuration · 05/05/2018 09:31

See, I was shocked to learn adult DH didn't know how to ride a bike. Like many here, I just assumed it was something 'everyone' did. But (as mentioned above) he grew up on a ranch. The ground was rocky and uneven, and full of prickly brush. And, he said, if you wanted to get somewhere you just hopped on a horse! Why struggle slowly along an unpaved, bumpy road on a bicycle when you could get there in a quarter the time on an animal?

And now that we live rurally, I'm starting to understand. Minus the hop on the horse bit! I can bike around our home, but I'm experienced. There really isn't anywhere in walking distance that you can ride safely on a smooth surface. Even the 'smooth surfaces' we can get to are old, bumpy asphalt which you don't realise how much a problem it is until you see a new biker trying unsuccessfully to propel themselves over what you never even noticed was a bump!

I'm not in England - does Scotland have similar? Hmm. Just googled and there is 'Bikeability', but Level 1 is for primary 5-6... isn't that 10-11 year olds? See, that seems terribly late to learn to me. Shouldn't there be something for nursery/primary 1-2 at the latest? I worry DD just won't ever learn (she also doesn't fit the 'if the child is interested' criteria - and my ability to get her to practice something she doesn't want to and has poor conditions to do gets lower as she gets older).

SinceWhenDid · 05/05/2018 09:35

Bikeability is cycling proficiency I think.

Balancability is balance bikes and learning to ride pedal bike. Our school loosely follows the scheme.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 05/05/2018 09:38

I'm in my 30's and can't ride a bike. No money issues or lack of places to ride when I was young, parents were happy to teach me etc. I just wasn't interested. I had absolutely no desire to ride a bike and nobody forced me. I can't say it's ever been an issue for me so I don't agree that it's a "key life skill" as some posters claim. I've managed to be a functioning member of society without cycling.
My DD(4yo) can ride a bike with stabilisers and we are lucky that it's safe for children to play out and ride bikes where we live. She really enjoys going out on her bike but if she didn't want to cycle I wouldn't try to make her. It certainly wouldn't occur to me to judge the parents of any of her friends who couldn't ride a bike.

ILikTheBred · 05/05/2018 09:49

I grew up rurally on a quiet side road with ample opportunity to mess around on bikes safely. I now live in a large city with busy roads and am petrified of the idea of cycling in traffic. My children can kind-of ride bikes but it is an absolute gaff to get to parks / tracks where I would feel comfortable letting them cycle.

I was talking recently whose job is to go into schools to teach cycling proficiency. He said out of every group of 11 / 12 / 13 year olds, consistently 30-40% of the children cannot ride a bike. So it’s not unusual OP. It’s down to city living, dangerous roads, lack of safe cycle paths to learn on, busy parents and small houses / apartments with nowhere to store bikes.

SingingOutOfTune · 05/05/2018 10:31

Riding a bike is not a necessity but it is old fashioned fun! I don't encourage mine to ride on the road alone but there are plenty of parks and car free paths you can ride across the country. Perfect activity for a day out. I not very good at it as I only learned at 13 and had not much practice but their father is good and they had their first bike when they were 3. It is also great on holidays. Some countries have very safe routes to explore with kids. And I also believe that in the future we are going to see more safe cycling paths available as the drive for healthy lifestyle and pollution free comute increases.

Goldilocks3Bears · 05/05/2018 12:14

The various responses to this just go to show that the OP’s shock and horror is grounded in one thing and one thing only: snobbery. Judgement that the parents have failed (her own standards) for some reason in not teaching their kids to cycle. What monsters.
Were they polite? Did they know how to use a knife and fork? Those are the sorts of things where maybe you would be entitled to pause in surprise if they were lacking but to be SHOCKED because a child doesn’t cycle. Please....

expatinscotland · 05/05/2018 12:30

'Even if you live somewhere that isn’t conducive to biking right outside your house, surely there’s a park, field, bike lane or some such nearby? What about if you go on holiday?"'

Surely you're one of those 'just pop to Waitrose' types who can't seem to grasp that we all lead different lives in different places and that for not an insignificant number, no, there isn't a park, field, bike lane or some such nearby.

Similarly, people take holidays in a variety of ways, and it's entirely possible to go on multiple holidays and never have a need to ride a bike.

Duh.

TheHandmaidsTail · 05/05/2018 13:57

Lazy parenting?!!! 3 sodding bikes and hours of arguments!

You come and teach mine then, you're clearly a better parent than me.

EleanorHooverbelt · 05/05/2018 14:47

murmuration - I guess for me, it is I don't want to! If it was higher on my priorities, I'm sure I'd have a license in a few months

This is me!

What I need to do it learn to drive, get the licence, then I can say I won't drive Grin

triwarrior · 05/05/2018 15:15

expatinscotland I’ve never stepped foot in a Waitrose in my life.

And, assuming you’re living in the UK, there is a field, park or patch of grass somewhere near you. Or a car park, for goodness sake. It’s not snobbery to suggest that as parents we need to make a bit of an effort sometimes, or elitist.

expatinscotland · 05/05/2018 15:37

And, assuming you’re living in the UK, there is a field, park or patch of grass somewhere near you. Or a car park, for goodness sake. It’s not snobbery to suggest that as parents we need to make a bit of an effort sometimes, or elitist.

Yep, in the UK. The car park is . . . a car park, being used by cars going in and out. Not a bike practise area. Fields? Farms, owned by other people, with sheep on them. The road is 40mph, increasing to 60 only a mile up, no traffic lights or stop signs for 2.5 miles. You have to drive to other areas that might be suitable. With the bikes. And that assumes everyone drives and has a car.

It's complete snobbery and elitist to assume people who don't live exactly like you, prioritise what you do and what you teach your kids, are inherently lazy and that all it takes is 'just a bit of effort.'