To think they have no idea about what it will be like (lighthearted)

[Diorissimo1985]

LIGHTHEARTED!!

Some friends of ours have just announced they are expecting their first baby, which is obviously lovely and we are very pleased for them. However they keep talking about "how it will be when baby gets here..."
E.g.

• beautiful traditional Moses basket with white broderie anglaise covers in their bedroom - definitely no co-sleeping!
• absolutely no plastic toys - no plastic rattles, baby swings or anything like jumperoos
• traditional baby clothes only and will use towelling nappies

Aibu to think these are all LOVELY intentions but they need to get a grip?! DD is 5 months and I want to tell them...

• baby will almost definitely end up in your bed at least once, and the beautiful Moses basket will get covered in posset and probably wee

• you may have to give in a get a baby swing if baby has reflux just to soothe it, or a brightly coloured plastic teething ring when it's drooling everywhere. And people give you mountains of plastic stuff so you end up with it anyway.

• fussing with baby outfits is a nightmare when dealing with explosive poos and nighttime changes are much easier with zippy sleepsuits. And Grobags are amazing ... I know not as pretty as crocheted blankets but at least baby can't kick the buggers off.

And towelling nappies aren't ideal for out and about when you're carrying a shitty parcel in your handbag all day.

I have, of course, said nothing

Anyone else have friends like this? I admit I had no idea what having a baby would be like in practical terms... I think they're in for a shock!

OP have you watched Michael McIntyre's skit on this? Cracks me up every time

I don’t think it’s fair to laugh at expectant parents who are full of hope and excitement.

The op does sound a bit eye-rolly I'm afraid.

I am a smug mum. Kids are teens, never co-slept (slept through from 6 weeks) had nice stuff and proper clothes (and if they puked we just changed them), no plastic crap and no hip displacers (baby swings/backpack carriers or jumparoos) either and terry nappies (with a disposable liner).

Didn't know at the time that it was anything special to be honest - just our way of life.

Just as well really, wouldn't have wanted to be thought naive.

Oh I dunno, I know someone who when pregnant with her first said that having a baby wouldn’t chance anything, she intended to do all the same things just with baby in tow... as a mum of 3 I laughed inwardly at the shock she was about to experience...
18 months on her life literally hasn’t changed and baby just slotted in... she takes baby everywhere she has always been, pub on a Thursday, church on a Sunday, travelling in South America, weddings and funerals... baby was sleeping through the night from very early on and apart from dropping baby at the childminder before work her life has really not changed at all... plus she pinged back to pre prep size 8 within a week...
Jealous, moi? Never... 😳

Jesus, do we need to have a separate topic for lighthearted posts poking gentle fun at others? OP puts lighthearted in brackets and in caps at the start of the post and STILL the po-faced brigade pile in and admonish her for being “mean”.

OP, I pity parents who martyr themselves by never buying a jumperoo- ours saved my sanity and my DS was a picture of pure joy whenever he was in it .

They may have a baby that fits in with their ideas.... oh and I used cloth nappies full time for 4 of my 5 children... not an issue out and about 😁

It carries on all through childhood. We swore blind we wouldn't give our kids swords and guns; cue my knitting needles being nicked for swords.

You never know OP, you might be seething when they manage to pull all of their idealistic ideas off! My almost 3 year old has never slept in our bed. Not even once. I fully intend to keep it that way and the same when his baby brother is born. I do however have all manner of plastic tat toys and an absolute jumble sale of clothes. Everyone is different. Let them live in their blissful little bubble

I never co slept, my baby slept with blankets and we had minimal plastic toys. Different strokes for different folks! I also know loads of people who use cloth nappies so their list isn't that crazy. They may have a very easy baby

I think it’s all quite doable with just the PFB. It’s only when another one (or two in my case) comes along that things get more serious. Those beautiful wooden blocks dyed with vegetable paints that were to be used as planes, trains, people, anything to inspire the imagination, have suddenly become weapons. Don’t leave two 12 month olds alone with a pile of wooden blocks.

I think it’s lovely though. It’s great they want to create a beautiful childhood for their baby. A bit of a rod for their back if they’re going for clothes with tiny buttons that don’t like going in the dryer, but maybe worth it from their point of view.

Ds had a beautiful moses basket and swinging crib with delicate lacing and swishing drapes. They never got covered in milk or wee, in fact they are pristine. Mainly because he hated them and has never spent more than 30 seconds in either.

Cooking from 'scratch' is achievable though. I remember getting back from the hospital after spending 6 nights there due to birth complications. I made a huge Spag Bol. I was desperate for home food and a touch of normality. When ds was little I would just pop him in the sling so I could cook.

Reusable nappies aren't all that much.fuss. especially for newborns.

Plastic tat toys, I'm with them on that one and still attempting to keep as much wooden as possible. But no Jumparoo??? It's the best circle of neglect going! It contains and entertains!

I'm sure I came out with some corkers when pregnant, fortunately everyone has had the grace to let them go and keep their laughter to themselves!

I pity parents who martyr themselves by never buying a jumperoo

pity away... hip dysplasia is rife in our family so we didn't use on doctor's advice.

People are not martyrs for doing things differently from you.

@ClopChops I totally agree with your post. My little boy is now nearly 3 but when I was pregnant so many people (including my own sister) took absolute relish in telling me how awful a newborn would be and how I would struggle. It actually really upset me at the time. The reality was totally different. I actually loved having a newborn. My baby had bad colic too so it wasn't all plain sailing but I just loved everything about it. So here's hoping that you get a good experience too.

Oh sorry beyondthepage I forgot the obligatory “unless they have disabilities that prevent them from doing so” when I made my LIGHTHEARTED comment. FFS.

Omg my jumperoo was a godsend. Roll on when this little one can be babysat by one 😂😂

Let them have their dreams OP. I agree it's a rite of passage they have to go through.

I had a conversation with a younger, childfree colleague the other day who couldn't understand why mums don't make better use of their mat leave. She was going to do major construction on the house, write some professional articles, take up a new hobby. I smiled and nodded.

I don't think you are being particularly lighthearted OP. I am 12 weeks and going to announce next week after our scan. And tbh I am really nervous of this attitude.

These threads give me the idea that once we announce the pregnancy we will be sat down, quizzed, and laughed at no matter what we say.

Show me a Moses basket that isn't traditional and covered in broderie anglaise, and doesn't a babygro count as traditional baby clothes? And doesn't all baby kit start out nice and crisp and clean? Like everything else...

No co sleeping here until ds 4 was poorly earlier this year and he had one night with us.That is definitely achievable

I was like that op 😳.

Only breastfed, no dummy's, routine from day one, beautiful expensive outfits.
Would limit visitors, no letting her fall asleep in your arms etc..

I lasted 4 days before sending oh to the chemist for formula and dummies. Rang my mam to come round and hold the baby half the day whilst I showered and cleaned.

In my defence I was young 😂

Littlepond
But that’s exceptional and she’s been lucky. Sleeping through usually doesn’t happen for ebf babies for a long time so I imagine the baby was ff. And the 18 m old must be really chilled to do these things. She will have issues ahead and I imagine won’t be able to continue like this forever.

ClopChops
I’d love to have had the experience described above. All I can say is this is incredibly rare. Good luck with the pregnancy.

Diorissimo
We all do this to a certain extent though, don’t we? This is a little extreme and big bubbly. Dd slept in her Moses basket for the most part. In a grobag. Only when she was a bit bigger. In the beginning, we co slept. On dhs chest sometimes but mostly inside my nightdress. Happy days. I did try out the real nappy scheme but it was too much for me and decided to go for biodegradable nappies until they were too leaky. Nothing and no one can prepare you. Smile and wave....

These threads give me the idea that once we announce the pregnancy we will be sat down, quizzed, and laughed at no matter what we say.

To be honest, that has been my experience a little BUT not from everyone, or even most people. In my (very limited!) experience the people who do this actually just want to talk endlessly about their own experience of parenthood, so I just smile and nod as they indulge themselves. They get to think they're being 'helpful', actually they just get to talk about their favourite subject: them!

And towelling nappies aren't ideal for out and about when you're carrying a shitty parcel in your handbag all day

at least know what you're talking about if you're slagging people off! The shitty parcel bit of your real nappy goes down the loo. Absolutely no need to carry it around with you.

We all have unrealistic expectations of what having a baby is like before we do it. Don't see an issue.

I can remember saying my DS would never have a dummy, oh how my DH laughed when I headed out to Asda at 2am one morning to buy one,
Having said that both of mine slept in a hand me down broderie anglaise lined Moses basket from day one, never came into our bed and it is still going strong now having being used for 8 family members
I get that you said it's lighthearted and have no intention of saying anything, I'd probably feel the same, the ones that annoy me are the ones who openly mock, I feel just because they may have had a shock they are willing everyone else to too

People can be very evangelical/have very firm ideas about what they're going to do with babies/kids before they have any! I've known a few who changed their ideas pretty quickly once reality hit them.

Had one friend who was 100% sure that given her 'method', her child would always do as it was told and never misbehave.
I was noble enough not to quote her later, when she was tearing her hair out over a little bugger of a 2 year old.

Also had a friend who'd been a HV for years before having her first. She freely admitted that during her first month with her new baby she did every single thing that for all those years she'd been telling people NOT to do.

Meh, are they on the breadline? If so I would be concerned that they will be wasting their money. If not, then who cares?!

Be the friend they can go to if they find it hard, not the one that they will flatly refuse to admit anything to in case of an "I told you so".

We all hold onto some ideals throughout our lives, which we'd love to achieve. Many don't manage to achieve them, but some do!