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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how someone can not know that they are pregnant?

139 replies

Eemamc · 30/04/2018 20:45

Worcester woman gave birth without knowing she was pregnant www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-43956316

I used to wonder about this, but having had a baby last year, I don’t know how you couldn’t know? Maybe if you gave birth at 20 Weeks or near that possibly, but after that?

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 30/04/2018 20:50

I always wonder how people can't know. In my case I knew I was pregnant when I was a week late, but I was fortunate that I was regular. But surely there woud be other indicators other than an absence of periods?

In my case there was no doubt with the weight gain and obvious bump (I am slim - so it was very obviously a baby bump), plus DD was a real fidget and had frequent hiccups.

Babdoc · 30/04/2018 20:51

There’s a variety of reasons for how this can happen. Sometimes women are in denial about the pregnancy, particularly if it was unplanned and unwanted, or if they are underage girls. Some women have irregular or absent periods, some older women assume it’s the menopause when their periods stop, rather than pregnancy. Some women are morbidly obese and don’t notice any extra abdominal swelling. Some women are special needs patients, who lack the intellectual capacity to comprehend what pregnancy is, and who have been abused.
I’m sure most A and E staff can tell you of women presenting with abdo pain, who turn out to be in labour!

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 20:54

So, by no means a skinny minnie, but in the green top i’m 37 Weeks and in the white top i’m 27 weeks... before I had a baby I was like....maybe, but having done it now, I think no way!

To wonder how someone can not know that they are pregnant?
To wonder how someone can not know that they are pregnant?
OP posts:
YerAuntFanny · 30/04/2018 20:55

No 2 pregnancies are the same.

Just because you had obvious signs doesn't mean others do.

0lgaDaPolga · 30/04/2018 20:56

I know! I was the size of a whale by the end and was getting constant rib kicks. The vomiting about 20 times a day until 16 weeks would have been a bit of a giveaway too

LoniceraJaponica · 30/04/2018 20:56

Do some babies never kick or fidget?

LoniceraJaponica · 30/04/2018 20:57

I didn't get all the symptoms - no sickness or nausea, no increase in boob size or sore boobs, not noticably more tired.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 30/04/2018 20:57

I had a ninja baby with my second. I’m 5ft1, and a size 6. And I didn’t know he was in there till I was 23 weeks! He wasn’t small either!

SomeoneAteMyStrudel · 30/04/2018 20:58

Some women, especially if they have a long torso and good abdominal muscles, practically develop no bump at all. They just look a bit more padded round the trunk. My friend was like this but when you felt her tummy you could feel her uterus really high up!

Also if you are overweight then sometimes the bump doesn't show for a long time.

And sometimes even really slim people can hide a baby till way down the line! I've known two slim people off the top of my head who didn't find out till nearly 30 weeks and both of them really should have known better Grin

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 20:58

I can understand very young, SN, nearing menopause perhaps, but a 31 year old seemingly normal person...it perplexes me somewhat. Are there any doctors or midwives who have seen this and truly think they don’t know?

I had a conversation with a midwife I know a few months ago, and she thought either the reasons you suggest or they’re lying. It’s just such a dramatic thing that happens to your body in such a short time

OP posts:
Mousefunky · 30/04/2018 20:59

I knew a girl who didn’t find out until she was 36 weeks. She was incredibly slim and petite but she just had no bump at all. Don’t ask me how that works, I do not know. Suddenly after she found out this bump appeared, it was bloody bizarre! There’s honestly photos of her where she would’ve been about 32 weeks and she’s as flat as a pancake Confused.

For seriously obese women I guess it’s easily hidden. Most people who don’t find out until the end/they’re in labour have been told they are infertile so they don’t expect to fall pregnant. They probably put pregnancy symptoms down to other things.

RedForFilth · 30/04/2018 20:59

I didn't know til around 5.5 months. Hadn't had a period for 5 years due to the contraception I was on. Was wearing my size 8s til just after I found out and I just popped!
People have different experiences. However with my other pregnancies (non surviving) I was terribly sick from day 1!

Teeniemiff · 30/04/2018 21:00

I had a friend who didn’t know she was pregnant til she was about 23 weeks- she was sat there & felt something moving. It was her 3rd pregnancy.

YerAuntFanny · 30/04/2018 21:01

Depending on which way your placenta is lying movements may not be obvious plus not everyone is aware what those should feel like.

I've had phantom kicks and movements which I've panicked about and been reassured they're just normal internal movements.

I knew I was pregnant with both of mine but only because of sickness, with my second I was losing weight and my periods are pretty irregular so couldn't go by that. I wouldn't have known until I started to get a bump at around 30 weeks (I was very overweight) if it wasn't for the throwing up.

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 21:01

I just know the extreme discomfort (plus all the other delightful symptoms!) I was in by the end. If I didn’t know I was pregnant I would have thought I was very very ill

OP posts:
RedForFilth · 30/04/2018 21:02

Mousefunky I was the same! It's like my belly relaxed once I knew or something!

RedForFilth · 30/04/2018 21:02

I felt the baby moving but it was so similar to the anxiety butterflies I get!

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 21:03

Maybe it’s just me that finds it odd then, willing to accept IABU. I do still think it very strange though.

OP posts:
slalomsuki · 30/04/2018 21:03

I knew it I got to 7 months without a bump or a kick then it was almost like a switch had been moved to on and bump grew overnight and kicks were like alien. Guess it depends on the position of the baby as a clue apart from the missing periods.

YerAWizardHarry · 30/04/2018 21:04

This is me at 33 weeks with my DS. I didn't have any bump at all until around 27 weeks. Found out I was pregnant at 22ish weeks much to everyone's surprise when I mention it. Also didn't feel much movement until around 24/25 weeks due to anterior placenta

To wonder how someone can not know that they are pregnant?
UrgentScurryfunge · 30/04/2018 21:05

I know someone that this happened to. She was young and it was unplanned so not on her radar. Her abdominal muscles were young and strong and a little rounding in the abodomen was put down to living well and a bit of drinking. She was slim but had quite a broad build. She continued to have a monthly bleed. An anterior placenta can obscure many movements. She had very few symptoms that made her suspicious until she was on her way to hospital and the paramedic suggested that it may not be her appendix...

Totally different to my experience of maternity clothes from 8 weeks and arguing with nosy, stupid strangers about my non-imiment due date with 3 months to go... plus the exhaustion, nausea, SPD and carpal tunnel syndrome. At the best of times, I'm only ever a lunch away from a pregnancy rumour Grin

ellsbells2 · 30/04/2018 21:05

I know someone who was 7 months when she found out. She was gutted (about not knowing) as everything became a rush and she didn't have time to enjoy her pregnancy as she was to busy preparing everything.

She was away on holiday and suddenly felt something moving inside her!

Bitsandboobs · 30/04/2018 21:06

A good friend of mine genuinely didn't know until she went into labour. She is very tall, and athletically build, with a good core!! She had no bump at all and had periods throughout. There was no reason for her to lie to anyone or herself, she was happily married, just waiting another year or so to start trying. We went ice skating the day before she went into labour, the call I got the next day was an insane shock! The Dr said she must have had an anterior placenta and a small not very active baby.

BigPinkBall · 30/04/2018 21:06

I knew an extremely slim girl (she was a girl, she was 16) she’d never had periods and the baby was under her ribs so no bump, she found out at 36 weeks.

I however was sick from week 3 and couldn’t tie my shoelaces from week 12 because she was so low down I couldn’t bend in the middle properly.

porcupinepine · 30/04/2018 21:06

It happens, I know a mother and daughter who both experienced this. Both suffered ptsd as a result too.

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