Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how someone can not know that they are pregnant?

139 replies

Eemamc · 30/04/2018 20:45

Worcester woman gave birth without knowing she was pregnant www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-43956316

I used to wonder about this, but having had a baby last year, I don’t know how you couldn’t know? Maybe if you gave birth at 20 Weeks or near that possibly, but after that?

OP posts:
restingbemusedface · 30/04/2018 21:07

When I was pregnant with twins I asked my student midwife if she’d done a twin birth yet. She said once and the woman hadn’t known she was pregnant!! Let alone with twins! She had gone into a&e with tummy pains, then drs realised she was in labour. But there wasn’t time to do a scan, so after the (surprise) baby was born they all thought the birth was over, but there was a second on the way!!

Bearfrills · 30/04/2018 21:09

Do some babies never kick or fidget?

DD was breech and wrapped in the cord, I also had an anterior placenta. I felt barely any movements unless I was concentrating on them as they were so faint. If I hadn't known I was pregnant then I could have easily passed those movements off as wind/gas, cramps, muscle spasms. With DS I had a bleed every four weeks until around 28wks, so again if I didn't know I was pregnant (and didn't have a bump) I could have presumed that was my period.

A friend of mine barely shows when she's pregnant. If she lifts her top and shows you her bare bump, you can see the curve of it and if you touch then it's rock hard but top down and you can't tell at all. When she had her DC1, there were people who didn't even realise she had been pregnant until they saw her pushing the pram.

I also know someone who missed several periods but was getting negative pregnancy tests. She had bloating, was feeling full quickly when eating, and had lower back pain. GP could feel a mass so arranged for a scan, lo and behold there was a 28-30 week pregnancy. When she got home she did a pregnancy test and it was still negative. They didn't start turning positive until around 35 weeks.

SoozC · 30/04/2018 21:10

I work in a school, this happened to one of the mums a few years ago. Her daughter didn't come into school one day and it turned out her mum had been rushed to hospital the night before and given birth. She had no idea. She is incredibly obese, which meant the bump wouldn't have been noticed and perhaps caused problems with her cycles, or maybe she has PCOS and was very irregular anyway. Amazing that overnight they suddenly had another family member!

Idontdowindows · 30/04/2018 21:11

Colleague of mine and his wife went on holiday, came home with a baby. She was 52, thought she was in menopause and the pregnancy symptoms were menopause symptoms and was slightly overweight as well as having IBS, so thought that was what it was.

hungryhippo90 · 30/04/2018 21:11

PCOS is how. I think that a lot of the women who don't know they are pregnant have been diagnosed with PCOS.

I have felt way more pregnant because of PCOS symptoms than I ever felt when I was pregnant with DD.

I haven't had a period in what must be five? Months. My boobs are so achey/sore/itchy I wonder myself sometimes. A couple of months ago I kept getting recurrent UTIs and the Dr just thought I was pregnant. Didn't believe me at all when I told him there was no chance. I kid you not, he did 3 pregnancy tests, all negative, he dipped again and again. He then left the sticks in my little urine cup. I just arched an eyebrow and said, I've tried that many times, it doesn't make a difference, you will not get a positive. We laughed about it in the end.

I can see why women with the same symptoms and condition would miss a pregnancy. So sure that it's impossible they even give up testing!

My mum had very hard pregnancies, her 3rd pregnancy, she didn't even look pregnant. I saw pictures of her 8 1/2 months along. She looked like she had maybe eaten a heavy meal. She said she wouldn't have known she was pregnant except she didn't get her period.

lavendargreen · 30/04/2018 21:11

I saw that on the news too, and cannot fathom it. I can't imagine being heavily pregnant and not noticing til baby plops out.

It does happen though.

Fatted · 30/04/2018 21:12

I think if you're not planning it or expecting it, then it's definitely easy to realise you're not pregnant in the early stages especially. Tiredness and sickness can easily be put down to something else. I was huge with both pregnancies and didn't feel much movement until well after 20 weeks. Although, if I wasn't expecting it then kicks and movement could be mistaken for something else.

When I was pregnant with my youngest, there was a woman at the midwives talking about she hadn't found out until around 32 weeks. It wasn't planned and she was actually having an ultrasound for the abdominal pains she was having when they discovered she was pregnant.

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 21:13

I didn’t find out until I was 8 Weeks, and from the many pregnant/new mums i’ve Since spoken with, as you tend to do when you go to pregnancy groups, baby groups etc etc, I seem to be unusual to have found out that late. Most people i’ve met know after 4 weeks. It’s really interesting. These women must have really amazing pregnancies to not notice any of the other symptoms. I had a really boring average pregnancy (I appreciate how lucky I am) but there are significant things that went along with that, no matter how health and average my pregnancy was, I really would have thought there was something very wrong with me if it weren’t for the huge bump, and all the kicks!

OP posts:
twolittleboysonetiredmum · 30/04/2018 21:14

There is a thread on here that made it into classics where a woman ended up having an unexpected baby. She posted as didn’t know whether to go to hospital with the pain she was having. Worth a read!

hdh747 · 30/04/2018 21:15

A neighbour of mine got pregnant when young. Put very little weight on, wasn't sick and had periods throughout. She eventually went to the GP with 'a swollen tummy and tummy ache' to be told she was approximately 6 months pregnant. The baby was born later that day, and was pronounced full term but smallish and perfectly normal. This is a good few years ago but still.

Plantlover · 30/04/2018 21:16

My first baby I felt very little movement. Back to back. Even as teen is not an active person.

bigKiteFlying · 30/04/2018 21:16

I knew a mother who got to six months - her forth pg.

She'd had a coil fitted and both her and GP put the symptoms down to the coil and the hormones in it. It was quite a shock for her.

Original poster
Eemamc · 30/04/2018 21:17

It seems it might not be that strange then, just very surprised is all!

OP posts:
CurtainstoCurtains · 30/04/2018 21:17

I was 20 plus weeks...

I was on the pill mostly b2b and actually conceived the week an important family member died (if I do the maths). I did have one period when I took a break on the pill.

I was working 60-70 hours weeks, on a huge project, i put about half a stone on and thought it was stress.

I did have a while where I was vomiting over a course of 2-3 weeks on and off, but the winter vomiting bug was also about.

I wasn’t planning, expecting or wanting a child, all if any symptoms I had where easily explained by other lifestyle factors. I don’t know what made me do a test in the end, I think if I remember I had a break from my pill again and didn’t get a period?

Any way nearly 6 years later I have a happy healthy DC and a loving partner. Also I wasn’t morbidly obese, I was 5’2 and I was a size 8-10 at the time I found out...

Bloody huge now though! As soon as I knew I was pregnant “all” of the symptoms suddenly appeared..

Skinnyboneylittlepony · 30/04/2018 21:18

  • The placenta is in an unusual position, meaning the mother can’t feel kicks

  • The ‘bump’ is high in the rib cage and does not grow ‘out’.

. (Rarely) some people have two uteruses/segmented uterus, therefore continue to have periods. The abnormality is revealed though scans. Had you ever had an ultrasound before pregnancy?

  • On the pill/iud which stops periods but it has failed.

  • Did not have full sex. We know being touched with hands with pre-cum can result in pregnancy but would you expect it to actually happen.

  • the woman does not normally have periods so does not notice their absence.

  • A woman is very overweight and the weight gain is not noticeable.

  • psychological issues e.g. denial. Can be a result of rape/abuse.

  • sluggish baby with little movement

  • no usual symptoms e.g. vomiting or nausea is attributed to illness/food/motion sickness.

Usually a combination of the above factors.

In the last 100 years there have been well over 7 billion pregnancies. It may even be fair to say there have been 70 billion pregnancies since 1918.

Every now and then there will be an unusual pregnancy.

AgathaF · 30/04/2018 21:18

I'm an ex midwife. I've seen it happen a few times. Some because the mother was in denial and so genuinely blocked it out, but a couple of times where they genuinely didn't know - continued to have some monthly bleeding, little weight gain and no obvious bump, put movements down to wind or some such (which if you really don't expect to be pregnant and are not showing then is understandable).

MimpiDreams · 30/04/2018 21:18

I can see how it can happen.

With my first I felt no movement at all but I was as big as a whale.

With my second I stayed the same weight all the way through and wore the same clothes. But he didn't stop wriggling.

So if someone had the movement of my first and the growth of my second, it's easy to see how it could happen.

DairyisClosed · 30/04/2018 21:18

If I hadn't developed a bump I would just assume that I was ill rather than pregnant.

greenlavender · 30/04/2018 21:19

Although mine was planned & I knew, I can imagine it happening. I had periods every month, no nausea, baby wasn't a fidget & I didn't really gain much weight. And as I yo-yo a bit, it wasn't at all obvious.

Avasarala · 30/04/2018 21:19

For my first, I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t been taking tests. Always had irregular periods; could go weeks without etc and I stayed tiny. Was a size 8 and fitted for a bridesmaid dress before getting pregnant. The wedding was postponed, and when it went ahead I was 7 and a half months pregnant - the dress fit with no alterations.
I didn’t have morning sickness or indigestion or anything, didn’t feel particularly hormonal or strange or anything. I could easily have been one of those people who didn’t know.

BikeRunSki · 30/04/2018 21:20

I knew I was pg with DS, but i’m not tiny, and he was footling breach. He came at 36+5 and I was beginning to look pg, but i could have passed for fat rather than pregnant for quite sometime.,

53rdWay · 30/04/2018 21:21

These women must have really amazing pregnancies to not notice any of the other symptoms.

The woman I know who this happened to had a chronic illness anyway, so pregnancy symptoms didn't really register, she just thought it was that illness getting worse.

RedForFilth · 30/04/2018 21:21

My friends mum had no idea she was pregnant even when in labour. She literally thought she was dying and was absolutely terrified. Her husband had the snip and it reversed itself (definitely his, dna tested!)

Queenofthestress · 30/04/2018 21:23

I didn't know until I was 4 and a half months pregnant with DS, the only way I knew was that my mum figured out that I was sleeping more. I didn't show, didn't have periods for ages any way, no sickness nothing

spiderlight · 30/04/2018 21:23

My mum didn't know until six weeks before I was born. She was nearly 47 and her doctor had told her I was the menopause. She had no morning sickness and a very small bump, by all accounts, and she put all her symptoms down to the menopause because she's of the generation for whom the doctor is always right.