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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only one who hates when unemployed people moan that weekend is over

410 replies

Sunflowerhappy · 29/04/2018 19:33

It's just annoying and frustrating.
I work full time and my weekend goes in a flash. Monday mornings are a mad dash between getting ready and doing breakfast club drop off. Finish work and then another mad dash to the school then dds clubs, cooking and tidy up then the bedtime routine it's hard...
Then you get the unemployed who sit and moan about the weekend been over, moaning about the school run or moaning they have so much to do and I think we'll at least you can drop kids off at school at normal time, put on your slouchies to drop off so takes minimal effort, come back and get a cuppa before you do housework etc.

If I get a day off during the week I do the above and it's bloody bliss.
I know I should just ignore and let them get on with it and I know it's none of my business but it's still frustrating all the same.

OP posts:
Elusiveone · 29/04/2018 21:48

Im unemployed and everyday is the same for me. I loathe weekends as seems so long and my support network is not there. Im a carer to my disabled adult dd its very very hard work and im tired. I NEED a holiday but ive not had one for ten years apart from a little weekend away coming up with my dd. I get no respite nothing whats so ever. So before you all judge not all unemployed are lazy. Unpaid carers save the government billions every year all for £64 a week

Voice0fReason · 29/04/2018 21:50

Being bitter and jealous and moaning about other people won't make your own situation any better.

QueenOfMyWorld · 29/04/2018 21:52

VoiceOfReason well said

NotTakenUsername · 29/04/2018 21:55

Anyone else imagining the op smirking, dusting of his her hands in a self satisfied way, while sitting in a dank, dimly lit bedsit...?

Just me?

PoorYorick · 29/04/2018 21:56

Elusive, I'm pretty sure that as a carer you'd be classed as 'economically inactive' (as would SAHPs). 'Unemployed', if I recall correctly, is a term for people who are available for work. If you're not available because you're raising a family or have caring responsibilities, I'm sure 'economically inactive' is the correct term.

It's important for socio-economists to be able to tell the difference. Three million unemployed people is a very different situation to three million economically inactive.

PoorYorick · 29/04/2018 21:57

Anyone else imagining the op smirking, dusting of his her hands in a self satisfied way, while sitting in a dank, dimly lit bedsit...?

No. I'm pretty sure his hands are very busily engaged.

NotTakenUsername · 29/04/2018 21:57

Envy not envy

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 29/04/2018 21:57

Oh my god

Prefer nottakens version

MamaBear2181 · 29/04/2018 21:57

How could you possibly know, really what these 'casually dressed' mums are doing after the school run? I am casually dressed at every school run. I have 2 high school aged children, a primary school aged child and an almost one year old baby. I go home after i've dropped my daughter off, and look after the baby, the house, chores etc...and i work. I manage the business OH and i run together. I've not worn office clothes on the school yard for some years but my day is just as busy as yours, i'm quite sure.

felicitythemangyfox · 29/04/2018 21:58

Fair enough Yorick - I took it as a suggestion that working mothers were somehow lacking in femininity but realise that I've probably had one too many whiskies and am too quick off the mark wrt taking offence.

topsyandtimison · 29/04/2018 21:59

You are sooooo jealous

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 29/04/2018 22:00

if staying home was such a piece of piss, more men would do it

I don't think men go to work as easier, I think they go to work as they need to earn. There are far more male breadwinners than female. Most men don't have the option to simply not work.

PoorYorick · 29/04/2018 22:00

Oh no Felicity, definitely not. Sorry to have been unclear. I'm a working mother myself. Femininity is largely a construct anyway, but for what it's worth I've got long hair and polished nails.

happy2bhomely · 29/04/2018 22:02

Yes stay at home mum's of school age children are the ones I'm talking about.

I'm a SAHM of 5 school age children.

I look forward to the weekends because I home educate Mon-Fri and then I do paid work outside the home Sat-Sun. My paid work is a welcome break tbh.

DH works Mon-Sat and then spends Sunday looking after the dc.

I don't understand why you find it frustrating. If they work more does that mean you get to work less?

eastegg · 29/04/2018 22:02

Well said mama bear. I made a similar point a few pages ago but Lemon doesn't seem to have responded

Sleepyblueocean · 29/04/2018 22:06

You are lucky that you have a child that can be left at breakfast club. Some people don't which is why they can't work.

MyFriendFlickaWasAHorse · 29/04/2018 22:07

Interesting point @pooryorick.

My ideal scenario is to move somewhere cheap so dh and I can work part time and share childcare 50/50, but dh isn’t up for it, funnily enough...

It’s funny, as I’ve seen a few posts on here recently having a right go at ex wives / sahms / women who want to get married. It has a whiff of MRAism about it... A lot of women feel they have to give up work, or there choose to, when they have dcs, as that’s the best solution for their family. It’s rarely of great benefit to the mother, as her earning potential takes a massive knock while her dh gets to work on his career. I really don’t think the working parent gets the worse end of the deal in this scenario, but there do seem to be some posters who consistently paint men as hard done by. According to one memorable post there are, “so many divorced men, left penniless and living in bedsits, while the ex wife gets to live in the family home and date whoever she likes” Hmm. Apparently this is why men don’t want to marry the mothers of their children you see Confused. Even if she does the lion’s scare of childcare, so her partner can go out to work.

MyFriendFlickaWasAHorse · 29/04/2018 22:08

Ugh typos!

*they choose
*lion’s share

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 29/04/2018 22:09

Disneyland is shit anyway. Walt Disney World is where it’s at. Wink

Rufustheconstantreindeer · 29/04/2018 22:11

Agree with sunny

PoorYorick · 29/04/2018 22:11

Hello Boxsets, earlier today you told a pregnant SAHM of a toddler with additional needs - whose husband is so uninvolved that he doesn't even know what nursery the child goes to and insulted her for having HG - that she had "seven days free to do as you please". That was just one of several remarks that were scattered throughout the thread like so many dangleberries.

So you'll forgive me for giving your input all the consideration and thought it deserves.

sunshinestorm · 29/04/2018 22:14

When I was unemployed I was still sad when the weekend was over as it meant DH being back at work and the early starts/school run. Coming home from the school run didn't usually mean enjoying a cup of tea with toddlers in tow.

I work evening shifts now so very very casual/rolled out of bed look on the school run. A lot of people work shifts and evenings/nights so it's not just the smart 9-5 office dressed people in the playground who are the workers.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 29/04/2018 22:19

If they are not working but can still afford Disneyland maybe you should be asking them for advice op. They are obviously better with money than you. I was a sham for 18month living off money I had earnt and saved you have no idea of peoples finance or what they do in their sweat pants.

RoseWhiteTips · 29/04/2018 22:20

Sorry OP. I laughed.

Zoflorabore · 29/04/2018 22:21

I'm a sahm. I do not want to work. I also do not want my "invisible illness" that hardly anybody knows about.
I also wish I wasn't a carer to someone worse off than me.

So to anybody who didn't know my personal situation i.e. 99% of parents in the playground, I am footloose and fancy free all day long.
I dress pretty well, look groomed most of the time and dc are well turned out and we have a nice home so I have it pretty easy until you dig a bit deeper.

I also have crippling OCD which means that when I haven't got caring responsibilities I can clean and clean until I have to leave at 3, this is especially tough as my illness causes me severe pain and means that one part of me is wanting to rest while the other part feels compelled to clean.

I wish things were different but they aren't so I have to make the best of it.
It's easy to judge, we all do it, but it's much harder to realise that things aren't always as they seem.

My own illness has made me much less judgy as I know how well I can mask my life versus the one that people may perceive so whilst I know that there are people who do go back to bed and watch JK every day ( ndn does that ) her choice,she's my friend regardless, there are others who are fighting other battles who would probably give anything for the chance to be at work or to at least have some purpose in life.