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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to ask my neighbour to not use washing machine after 8pm?

266 replies

hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 11:27

Our neighbours’s Washing machine is right above our son’s soon to be new Bedroom. He goes to bed about 8. The washing machine makes the whole room vibrate. Would it be unreasonable to ask the neighbours to try and not use it after 8pm?

OP posts:
sockunicorn · 30/04/2018 18:15

I really dont think you can ask them not to do something after 8pm. Thats their home and maybe thats the only time they are free to do it.

Pretty sure they never came round and asked you to stop your DS from crying or making noise after 8pm when he was little?

Mashandbangers · 30/04/2018 18:15

I have this currently from the opposite perspective. Have been asked not to use washing machine \ Hoover etc in the evening. However this followed on from a complaint about hoovering in the morning (about 6.30).
I try to be considerate but as I leave for work just gone 7 and don't get home til just past 7 in the evening mon-fri I'm at a loss when she wants me to do the housework.
Doesn't help that she's a passive aggressive sahm who doesn't seem to understand that I'm simply not at home during the day to do these things...

Goldmandra · 30/04/2018 18:16

its unbelievable arrogance to think you can ban her from using her own washing machine at a perfectly normal time

Absolutely agree!

Except the OP didn't suggest this, did she? She asked whether people would feel it was reasonable to ask the neighbour to to try and not use it after 8pm, which is something altogether different, isn't it Hmm

Do you twist things like this in real life or just on Mumsnet?

TawnyPort · 30/04/2018 18:16

I don't live in a flat though, and was responding to a poster who said none of us should use a washing machine unless we were in the house and awake. Perhaps tell that poster rather than me?

Even if I did live in a flat In would hardly be "completely happy about burning down other peoples flats" Hmm but would hardly need to be to use my washing machine at night like the entire world does.

MissDuke · 30/04/2018 18:21

OP I just saw your update that DC is 8! I assumed he was a 6 month old baby moving out of your room, sorry! So my advice about getting him used to noise was nonsense Grin! Sorry, that what happens when one assumes!

Olympiathequeen · 30/04/2018 18:23

Just ask nicely. What’s the worst that can happen? She can refuse but at least you’ve tried.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/04/2018 18:24

Our downstairs neighbour in a block of flats asked us to stop running the washing machine at night for exactly this reason. I had no idea it disturbed them so much and started putting it on in the mornings at 8:30 instead. I was not in anyway annoyed at being asked and was a little mortified I'd been disturbing them most nights for the past 6 months.

figelnarage · 30/04/2018 18:25

I don’t think YABU. Why is it okay for her to ask you not to disturb her but it’s not okay for you to ask for the same courtesy?

Lizzie48 · 30/04/2018 18:25

I wouldn't mind being asked at all, and it wouldn't be an issue for me to do washing earlier in the day, because I'm at home. But for people working full-time, they really might not have much choice in the matter. At what other time would they do their washing?

It's worth asking, as long as you don't make them feel like they're doing anything wrong. Because 8pm isn't late.

Userplusnumbers · 30/04/2018 18:33

Oh dear OP, you've had a bit of a roasting.

To be honest, if she pre-empts trick or treating, and comes to ask you to stop decorating noise (whihh you graciously did) I don't see the harm in asking. If I were you I'd appeal to the fact that she obviously values her peace and quiet.

Also, we lived in a flat and apparently had a really noisy machine. It was fine in our flat, but the vibrations through the floor were horrendous, so I hadn't even realised until it was on when I'd been down there one day.

CocoaGin · 30/04/2018 18:37

She may have a cheaper electric tariff and that's why she's using it at night? My dad had the same issue with the lady in the flat above him.... she used economy 7 on a timer, so dad used to woken at 5am thinking a helicopter was landing on his bed. It really got to him in the end, so I had to pop up and tell her. She was dreadfully upset when she realised, and has now got a new machine. They may be unaware it is disturbing you, so I don't think politely mentioning it is an issue at all.

As for the PP hoovering at 6.30 am........I'm speechless Shock. On what planet is that even remotely acceptable Hmm

manicmij · 30/04/2018 18:46

Is the washing machine in one of their bedrooms? Unusual to have a kitchen/utility area above a bedroom in what must be a flat by your description. If in one of their bedrooms think you would be justified in asking them to restrict use perhaps Mon - Friday. If you are an owner occupier not much you can do, if the other property is rented then landlord should ensure appropriate use of rooms and act to reduce noise transfer. Goid luck with it all

GoodMorning1 · 30/04/2018 18:49

I've asked neighbours not to use a washing machine after 10:30pm and that worked, but 8pm seems a little early. Can't hurt to ask though so long as it's a polite ask and you're prepared for a 'no' if they can't.

Mashandbangers - you hoover at 6:30am! I'm glad you're not my neighbour! Just do it at the weekend.

FlapAttack23 · 30/04/2018 18:55

If my neighbours asks me this i would then be aware and try my best to avoid it if I could even if it was at a mild inconvenience to myself to do so because i generally like to treat others as I'd like to be treated myself.. even if that rarely comes to fruition.

Just pop over in person asked aye something along the lines

FlapAttack23 · 30/04/2018 18:55

I can't think of how to ask nicely Haha but make sure you do it in person!

BoyWithApple · 30/04/2018 18:56

I live in a flat and would not mind at all if my neighbours asked something like this. I would try and accommodate where possible because it's nice to be nice when you're sharing living space. It's really no problem to ask, they won't know it's an issue unless you tell them.

sugarr · 30/04/2018 19:00

I have the same problem, family above us use their washing machine at night also. I can understand because they are cheaper to use at night time but still can become irritating very quickly. I would politely go and talk to your neighbour, they may not even realise the washing machine is causing you problems.

Ewanthesheep · 30/04/2018 19:04

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. Pisses me off when neighbors are banging or playing music. It's disrespectful if they don't have to use it at that time knowing a child lives below.

People saying it's unreasonable to ask Hmm if they say no then there's not much more you could do. But to only ask isn't unreasonable.

browneyes77 · 30/04/2018 19:07

I don’t think it’s unreasonable of you to ask at all.

Yes they can do as they wish in their home BUT when what they’re doing is disturbing you in your home then that isn’t on and is anti social. You’re entitled to enjoy peace in your home as much as they may feel they’re entitled to have their washing machine on. Only difference is you having peace in your home isn’t causing them any bother. Whereas noise they make is disturbing you.

I live in a flat and one of my neighbours puts her washing machine on at 11pm and later. And whenever the cycle changes it chugs on all the pipes and creates a loud banging sound through the building. Why should people who are trying to sleep put up with being kept awake because a neighbour feels they have the ‘right’ to wash their clothes at whatever time they like? So their right to make a racket trumps my right to be able to sleep at night? I don’t think so.

I think it’s perfectly acceptable to approach them nicely and explain and ask them about it.

browneyes77 · 30/04/2018 19:08

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. Pisses me off when neighbors are banging or playing music. It's disrespectful if they don't have to use it at that time knowing a child lives below.

People saying it's unreasonable to ask hmm if they say no then there's not much more you could do. But to only ask isn't unreasonable.

Exactly ^^

TawnyPort · 30/04/2018 19:11

Pisses me off when neighbors are banging or playing music. It's disrespectful if they don't have to use it at that time knowing a child lives below
laundry is not in the same category as playing loud music, which I imagine you know.

BUT when what they’re doing is disturbing you in your home then that isn’t on and is anti social

thats really silly as a blanket statement. Its no antisocial to do your laundry when you need to do it. Its not antisocial to sometimes make noise other people can here.

TawnyPort · 30/04/2018 19:11

*hear

Kapdedhona · 30/04/2018 19:35

Hi, there’s no harm in asking. We recently got told by our downstairs neighbour that the washing machine makes a noise and is inconvenient. I have not only stopped running it after 7pm, I found that the spin speed can be reduced and makes no difference to the washing. So we run it at a lower speed and not during late evening. I’m just surprised they didn’t mention it sooner.

So please go ahead, they might understand.

Good luck.

margesimpson40 · 30/04/2018 19:49

It's washing it's a necessity ... Music, tv too loud, parties etc. Please do ask nicely if they could keep he noise down. Washing machines, hoovering etc people will do when convenient. I can't believe someone complained about using washing machine after 7. I'm so glad my neighbours didnt. I never got home before 630 when I worked, it wouldn't have been possible. I am considerate I live in a middle floor and never play loud music etc. Neighbour hates noise of any kind so I try and be considerate, however I had to politely tell him he was being a bit of a twat, when he complained my friends 7 year old was laughing too loudly .... They visit for a week once a year

ArcheryAnnie · 30/04/2018 19:52

Its not antisocial to sometimes make noise other people can here.

There's a certain amount of noise that's inevitable when you live in a flat, and you live with it - there's a bit of give and take, and you let things go when you can. But yes, it is antisocial if you live in a flat and gabitually make a great deal of noise at antisocial times.

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