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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think my friend enjoys rubbing things in my face?

124 replies

Malibuandpineapple32 · 28/04/2018 11:08

Both been friends for 10 years.
Both work.
Im currently scrimping and saving to buy a car,second hand one ..so far only managed £500 but plodding on,hopefully get a decent run around under £2000.
Friend passed her test a few weeks ago and couldn’t wait to ring me telling me her dad had bought her a 5k car and put the insurance in his name so she only pays £30 a month..that’s great I’m pleased for her BUT then she says “awww don’t worry you will get a car one day,just keep saving your penny’s”
How much you got saved? I couldn’t live without my car now.

Then last night we went for food and I ordered a dessert and she goes “you will never get a car you” I say why and she reply’s “spending money on dessert”

OP posts:

Sibsmum · 29/04/2018 19:50

I am more worried about why you think this person is your friend?

Get some self respect and ditch the bitch!

Seriously, she is doing none of this for your benefit. You are working and saving hard. You deserve more support and kindness in your life my dear. X

DistanceCall · 29/04/2018 19:56

Utter bitch. Drop.

ItsNachoCheese · 29/04/2018 19:58

You deserve so much better than this so called friend

ZenNudist · 29/04/2018 20:01

Drop her life is too short to have such a shitty friends

CadyHeron · 29/04/2018 20:11

Am I the only one whose mind was in a weirder place on reading the thread title?

Not just you.Mine took me to a mental image of a Phantom Flan Flinger .

Anyway. That's no friend, OP. She sounds awful and incredibly immature/spoilt.
As tempted as I'd be to say "yes, but it feels so much better to earn it for myself rather than get Daddy to pay for it" I'd just quietly distance myself from her.
She sounds poisonous.

IrianOfW · 29/04/2018 20:11

Friend?

FaveNumberIs2 · 29/04/2018 20:19

Fuck her. Walk away. You don’t need frenemies like that.

As for her insurance, does she realise that if she’s not listed as the main driver, the insurance will not pay out when she has an accident?

MrsDilber · 29/04/2018 20:38

Not nice, she's gloating. You know when you'd wish you'd have said, I wish you'd have said "well it might take me a little bit longer, but the satisfaction of saving up for myself, that independence, will stay with me years after that car has been and gone, you know what I mean? oh no! You don't know what I mean".

It took me 15 minutes to think of that . You'll get there and it will be satisfying.

Picoloangel · 29/04/2018 20:57

As others have said, she’s not your friend. She sounds truly horrible.

flowerpott · 29/04/2018 21:32

I find that people who gloat/rub things in your face like this (which btw she definitely is!) just generally aren't very happy.

If you are close friends, then this is probably just a blip and a sign that something else going on. Maybe see if you can talk to her about it and support her with whatever she isn't telling you. If not, then I'd just ignore her and stop wasting your energy worrying about it. Just keep saving up for your car, eating dessert if you want to, enjoying life, and don't worry about anyone who tries to put you down or make you feel like you have less than them. A first car will never be the biggest achievement in your life, especially not when you didn't even pay for it.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 29/04/2018 22:45

The dessert and penny’s comment is just nasty and uncalled for. But, why can’t you be happy for your friend? You seem bitter about it. Either accept she’s been a bit of a cow and tell her...or just distance yourself.

Mary1955 · 29/04/2018 22:52

Justalittleprick I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo here. I was imagining the friend getting her jollies rubbing trifle on the poor op!

Barbara1956 · 30/04/2018 00:55

It is good that you can ditch this so called friend...I have a relative who is like this and unfortunately we occasionally have to meet...😕

Bains091115 · 30/04/2018 07:30

She's horrid. If i knew you I would happily help towards the buying of your car even if its a little, every little helps! Us mumsnetters should come together set up a go fund me to raise you loads of money to get an amazing car and say big finger up to your so called 'friend' x

Stillblundering · 30/04/2018 07:35

She sounds spoiled and those types are always insecure and insulting. Pity her but give the daft cow a wide birth! I hope you have better friends elsewhere?

CookPassBabtridge · 30/04/2018 08:08

I wouldn't be friends with her. It might sound harsh and over the top, but life is too short to spend time with people who make you feel like shit. It really is. I don't spend time with anyone like that and I'm happier for it.

TheNoodlesIncident · 30/04/2018 11:26

It's only really a friendship when you're invested in the other person.

She isn't your friend if she isn't genuinely happy for you when something good happens for you and similarly if she isn't genuinely concerned if something bad happens to you.

Sounds like she doesn't want you to get a car and is enjoying the fact that you don't have one

^^ This

And furthermore, Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours glow any brighter, as a poster on here once said.

Ditch her. You deserve better than this sorry attempt at friendship.

browneyes77 · 30/04/2018 12:34

This girl is no friend. She sounds like an immature, insensitive, spoilt moron.

She is trying to make you jealous of her. What kind of friend wants to purposely make their friends jealous of them?

In my experience, people who do this are usually the ones who are actually jealous of you. I’d say there’s clearly something about you that she’s jealous of and so she puts you down and builds herself up to make herself feel better and try and make herself look better and probably so that you don’t see that in actual fact you are the better person. (It’s almost like she’s gaslighting by trying to make you question your own worth and exaggerating hers)

She must be pretty insecure or have little self esteem to resort to trying to make her friend jealous of her to feel better about herself.

She sounds quite pathetic. I’d leave her to her shiny new car and take pride in the fact that when you do get your car you’ve worked hard and saved for it. This girl will never know the value of money or how to take care of herself financially whilst mommy and daddy are still paying for everything. She’ll have a rude awakening one day, trust me!

ralfeesmum · 30/04/2018 14:42

It sounds as if she's throwing these barbed comments in your face to boost her ego at the expense of your self-esteem.

I expect Daddy Dearest has simply thrown money at this right Madam in order to stop her whining - I bet she's the Daughter From Hell!

IceSwan · 30/04/2018 14:52

You're not thinking of keeping her as a friend are you?

Motoko · 30/04/2018 15:59

Another OP who posts and runs.

Regarding the insurance, would it be fronting if her dad's got one of those family multi-car policies?

browneyes77 · 30/04/2018 16:42

Regarding the insurance, would it be fronting if her dad's got one of those family multi-car policies?

I did wonder this. Or that the OP just may have meant her Dad added her to his insurance policy as a named driver or something similar.

m0therofdragons · 30/04/2018 16:55

Seriously! In the summer, 2 weeks before we moved house, my dh's car died. We had to replace it fairly swiftly and friends knew most of our money was going as a deposit on the house. We were supposed to be going out for a meal with 2 other couples and I messaged both to explain we really couldn't afford a meal out as we had to buy a car. I definitely wasn't fishing, just being honest about why we were pulling out. That evening my friend messaged and said she and her dh had discussed it and they were in a position to offer a loan if we needed it.

We didn't accept as we had savings but need to refill those savings but my point is, that's what friends do. Your "friend" is a knob!

Gemini69 · 01/05/2018 08:29

m0therofdragons

those are wonderful friends.. cherish them

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