I would like to start by saying that we completely respect the bride and groom’s wishes for a child-free wedding, and have not made our decision on the basis of being annoyed by their choice.
Our predicament, however, is, that my nephew and his bride have chosen to have a child-free wedding, and it will be held approximately 2.5 hours from where we live. Obviously, all my side of our family are attending, and DHs family live about three hours away from us in a different direction. We very rarely get any help with our children anyway, and worked out that hiring a babysitter is unfeasible due to times/ minimum length of time we would be away etc.
Anyway, we politely declined the invitation by post, and I have since received andry phone calls from both my brother and nephew stating that we need to make the effort to sort childcare and go to the wedding. Given that we have never been able to spend more that about five hours away from our children, due to lacking relatives who can help, I am really uncertain what they expect to me do.
AIBU to think that if they want a child-free wedding, that may be excluding some of the people who they clearly want to be at the wedding (given the messages I have received)? Moreover, AIBU to not attend the wedding, ob the basis that we cannot secure childcare?
For full disclosure, a friend with her own children offered to have our children so that we could attend the ceremony, which would mean her having them for around 7-8 hours, but my nephew has said we need to attend the whole thing or nothing, as they are paying a venue on a per head basis.