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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my SIL should keep her opinions about my parents to herself

57 replies

mastertomsmum · 27/04/2018 13:49

My SIL has informed me that she thinks my parents are odd and implied that my bro agrees with her.

Apparently, they 'don't have any friends' and 'don't get out and about and do anything'.

So, they are both nearly 90. My dad still drives, but only locally. My mother is visually impaired. They go out and about for coffee and walks at the local NT place. They have lunch out.

It's true that they don't drive over to where SIL lives and they don't have not been on holiday for a few years. But they are quite old and quite active.

They no longer do dinner parties, but I'm not sure I think that's such a big deal. They do sometimes make lunch for family.

As for no friends, well many of them have passed away or are not still living independently. They do see people but they do coffee out not trips to the theatre. I see it as winding down.

Also, they are happy and get help with household tasks enabling them to stay in their house.

Feel she is judging them too much based on the one other elderly lady she knows who is remarkably adventurous and still going on cruises at 87. Oh and also a couple of yrs younger.

OP posts:

troodiedoo · 27/04/2018 13:52

At 90 you can do whatever you like. Don't let sil get to you, her opinion is pointless.

SandyY2K · 27/04/2018 13:52

What is she expecting them to do at that age? They are taking things easy...as they should be.

Id like to see her at nearly 90.

She should indeed keep her opinion to herself.

honeylulu · 27/04/2018 13:54

They sound awesome. I hope I can manage to have a nice relaxed but enjoyable life like that when I'm nearly 90!

monkeysox · 27/04/2018 13:56

She's a twat. They're amazing

lavendargreen · 27/04/2018 13:57

What a horrible person she sounds.

WTF has it got to do with HER?

Even if they are only 50, or 40, (or younger!) they are entitled to do as little - or as much - as they like with their free time.

GRRRR People like this do my head in!

MrsExpo · 27/04/2018 13:59

They sound great to me. You're lucky to have such active and independent parents at their age. Have you asked your brother about this? It's your SiL who sounds odd.

SunwheretheFareyou · 27/04/2018 13:59

I have a novel of stuff I can say about my in laws - and maybe one day I will pen that book but for goodness sake - at 90 ??

You must all be in your 50's/60s....maybe she is thinking of when they were younger?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/04/2018 14:02

Oh fuck that! How rude! I hate it when people know someone who's 163 years old and still goes to the gym and does Yager bombs on a weekend, and feels the need to tell everyone over the age of 80 a or this person, when all they want to do is relax at home. She sounds awful.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/04/2018 14:02

*about

Imsosceptical · 27/04/2018 14:03

Shocked at your SIL selfishness, FFS they are nearly 90, I’d imagine many of their treasured friends are no longer here, they’re just enjoying their life and bloody fair play to them, giver her a slap (and I’m so non violent, can’t believe I said that xxx)

HeckyPeck · 27/04/2018 14:06

Your SIL sounds like the odd one. Your parents sounds very active for people in their 90s, still getting out and about etc. She should fuck off and keep her bizarre opinions to herself!

hardtoplease · 27/04/2018 14:14

Tell her you told her opinion to a group of people (us) and they all said that SHE was the odd one.

I also think your brother would agree with me

MrsPepperpot79 · 27/04/2018 14:20

At 90 that's bloody amazing! My FIL is 90 and roughly does the above - bar the cooking thing, as he doesn't cook. And similar to your parents re friends - many are sadly either no longer around or no longer in a state in which they can be visited. She sounds like a right nutter - just how "out and about" does she expect them to be?!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/04/2018 14:21

What an odd thing to say.

Does she shit-stir about other things?

Tell her to sod off and mind her own business. Your parents sound really cute.

springydaff · 27/04/2018 14:24

Blimey my mum is nearly 90 and she can't walk or see and spends most of the day asleep.

She's a weird one your SIL

TroubledLichen · 27/04/2018 14:25

Is it possible that SIL comments are coming from a good place? Like she’s concerned they aren’t getting out as much as they used to and have a diminishing circle of friends but she’s utterly clueless about the realities of old age? I agree she’s totally wrong and she sounds quite dim but I’m not sure I’m getting selfish/she deserves a slap/should fuck off/horrible person etc. from the OP. Your parents sound brilliant though, hope they have many more happy years together!

Trinity66 · 27/04/2018 14:25

90 year olds are "odd" for not doing much? She sounds like a dickhead

pallisers · 27/04/2018 14:28

is she a bit thick? like does she not actually grasp that life might change a bit when you are 90?

I'd love to have your parents' life when I am 90.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 27/04/2018 14:29

FFS if you can’t have a quiet sleepy life at 90 without someone complaining about you then the world has truly gone mad.

MatildaTheCat · 27/04/2018 14:30

She’s an idiot. Extreme old age is, for most, utterly exhausting and your parents sound perfect. Cooking lunch for family is bloody awesome.

My SILs have all criticised my parents to me and whilst they aren’t perfect at all, I really don’t like to hear their bitching when it is mainly cultural differences at play. And my parents have been generous and kind to them all. So YADNBU.

Iggiattheend · 27/04/2018 14:31

At first I thought this was from a place of concern as if they don't see friends one of them is likely to be left very lonely at some point... but I think I'm projecting and she's just being an arse!

Juells · 27/04/2018 14:31

She has a screw loose 😂

AlpacaBag · 27/04/2018 14:32

she sounds like a dick, ignore x

Sweetpea55 · 27/04/2018 14:32

They sound like they have a god social doing exactly what suits them

Gemini69 · 27/04/2018 14:34

anyone disrespecting my 90 year old Parents would never be part of my family unit ever again.... the end

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