To say no to this party invitation

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

SIL has invited DD (4) and DS (1) to Knowlesly Safari Park for DNiece's birthday. Which is a great park from what I remember visiting from many years ago, BUT - it's 200 miles away from where we all live. SIL included.

This has annoyed me more because SIL recently had a strop about my DD's party, it's after school in a place 1 mile from our house at a farm park. Her DD's School doesn't finish until 15 minutes after the party finishes and is 30 minutes drive away, so she can't really make it. It's a joint party with someone else, at one of those places where you get free entry all day. The reason me and the other Mum decided to do it after school was because we figured we didn't want to take up people's whole Saturdays, and the place shuts at 6pm so no dragging kids out when they can still see their friends playing. SIL tried to persuade me to change to a Saturday but it was already booked.

But now I have to give up a Sunday to do a 400-mile round trip for a 6th birthday party? She is begging and saying no one else can make it so if we don't go then DN will have no guests there. We're not busy that weekend, we just can't be bothered with the time or expense. AIBU?

Tell her she is welcome to collect her.....
Cf!

YANBU it'll cost £100 surely??

Why on earth does she want to go there in particular?

Her DD's School doesn't finish until 15 minutes after the party finishes and is 30 minutes drive away, so she can't really make it.

I don't understand why you are annoyed with her for not being able to make your DD's party when it would be impossible for her to get there. Surely these are two separate issues?

Why would she do such a stupid thing?!

That's far too far for a party!

400 miles !!! That is absolutely ridiculous, do not be made to feel guilty by saying no.Just say its not fair having the kids in the car for that amount of time. I cannot believe she would even consider that herself, Im genuinely gobsmacked !

I would not want to do a 400 mile round trip with DC the age of yours.
That is just madness.
Please don't agree to this.
You don't want to and neither does anyone else.
Tell her you will do it in the summer and make a weekend of it, if you can afford it.
Otherwise, no way. Your poor 4 YO will be shattered on Monday.

Of course no one else can make it, it’s a 400 mile round trip! That would be a no from me too.

As I was reading I thought surely she's just invited you to be polite. But she's expecting you to go all that way?! Thrice the no!

We want recently, it is 30 minute drive from house. As nice as it is we probably won't go back, and certainly would travel so far to go. There must be something similar closer...

Sorry I meant that her DD's School finishes 15 minutes after my DD's party STARTS! Doh! So she could still make it but she'd only make half of it

I'm not annoyed with her for not being able to make my DD's party, I'm annoyed that her mum threw a strop about it

Have I got this right? She wants you to drive 200 miles to a zoo, have a party, and then drive 200 miles home? That's about 8 hours driving!

400 mile round trip with a 4 and a 1 year for a party. You have got to be kidding. Say no -sorry but baby is going through a cranky stage and not sleeping well. I need to get him into a routine again. And that trip is too long.

Invite her kids round one Saturday afternoon - for a joint belated mini party. They can share a cake, few balloons, animal transfer hers zoo your DD farm etc. Sorted.

No, you can't do a 400 mile round trip for a birthday party! It´s a ridiculous suggestion.

Why does she want a party that no one will go to? So strange. If her child really really wanted to go, then the more normal thought process would be “We can’t expect people to drive that far so we’ll just go on our own” surely?!

Culinary yep. Bizarre isn't it!

She seems to have a form for bizarre birthday parties. Last year it was a falconery course at a Manor House 45 minutes away. DD was 3 and DS was just born so I said no then too (which has been brought up 😬)

The year before that it was a pool party 5pm on a Sunday. I did tell her that I bet people would be no-shows as we were in a heat wave and who can be arsed swimming at 5pm on a Sunday! Very few people showed

She is begging and saying no one else can make it so if we don't go then DN will have no guests there.
That's a message that the party is in the wrong place!

Seriously though, don't be guilted into attending a party 200 miles away. Only go if your DD really wants to go.

text back No... the end

My mother lives 200 miles away from me. I have done it once (in the nearly 12 years she's lived there) where I've driven down in the morning and back in the evening. That was with no children as I'd left my then only child with my ILs. I will NEVER do it again and certainly not for a child's birthday party. Don't do it OP.

In fairness you could have made the party a little later to accommodate her dd, couldn't you? But as for the 400 mile trip and the falconry course, that’s ridiculous. Your dcs are far too young to appreciate either.

How old is her dd? Can you send her a text and ask her to change it to somewhere closer and more convenient. State that more people will attend this way. She sounds a bit batty tbh.

Tell her you'd love to see them but can do 15 miles max.

Say to her that if she is willing to reschedule the party and relocate the party to a venue closer to everyone, then you're willing to consider it...play her at her own game.

There must be a safari park closer? Which area of the country are you in? We've been to Woburn Abbey, Longleat, Port Lympne, and some nice zoos, Colchester, Whipsnade, London, Howletts, monkey world, paradise park. They are literally everywhere I don't believe you have to travel 200 miles to get to one unless you live in the Scottish Highlands. Could you suggest a more local alternative?