To say no to this party invitation

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

SIL has invited DD (4) and DS (1) to Knowlesly Safari Park for DNiece's birthday. Which is a great park from what I remember visiting from many years ago, BUT - it's 200 miles away from where we all live. SIL included.

This has annoyed me more because SIL recently had a strop about my DD's party, it's after school in a place 1 mile from our house at a farm park. Her DD's School doesn't finish until 15 minutes after the party finishes and is 30 minutes drive away, so she can't really make it. It's a joint party with someone else, at one of those places where you get free entry all day. The reason me and the other Mum decided to do it after school was because we figured we didn't want to take up people's whole Saturdays, and the place shuts at 6pm so no dragging kids out when they can still see their friends playing. SIL tried to persuade me to change to a Saturday but it was already booked.

But now I have to give up a Sunday to do a 400-mile round trip for a 6th birthday party? She is begging and saying no one else can make it so if we don't go then DN will have no guests there. We're not busy that weekend, we just can't be bothered with the time or expense. AIBU?

Why should anyone have to rearrange their party to accommodate ONE person?!

You arrange, you invite, if people can't or don't want to come they say no thanks. That's it.

In this case it is a joint party with someone else. NO WAY should the OP rearrange, it's laughable.

As for the SIL travelling half way across country for a party and expecting others to,... I think she's making a point.

Tell her no. She's a trouble maker.

I'm sure you DNiece will enjoy it either way, We took our 2yo to chester zoo for his birthday and didn't even invite anyone - we only decided in the morning to go - and he loved every second, wasn't even bothered about us so he's certainly wouldn't have bothered with any one else. She's being a bit off expecting you to make that trip with such young DC in tow. Tell her you'll pop round when they are back to see you niece.

I don't think YWBU to not go. It is too far for a party which could, presumably, be held closer to home. Unless there is a specific reason for wanting to go to this particular safari park?
Who else has she invited? Surely not school friends, given the distance.

It is really not a good enough safari park to warrant a 400 mile round trip! Tell her no

FASH you are not far off TBH

TBF about DD's party, her School finishes at 3.45, the party is at 4 to allow time to get there - DN's School finishes at 4.15, so I don't see why a whole class should have to wait about until 4.30/4.45 (when the place closes at 6) just for one person.

I did suggest Edinburgh zoo (MUCH closer) but apparently it's "crap" DN wants an experience where they can drive through somewhere and see animals

She’s being a bit silly really as from your comment everyone else has said errr No! So she’s pulling on the family strings, just say we’d love to share DN birthday but unfortunately a 400 mile round trip really makes it non viable for us, enjoy the day and can we have you round in the week for a small family celebration closer to home xxxxx

400 miles for a kid's birthday party? No chance. YANBU

Ha ha ha

As if.

Is she your husband's brother or your brother's wife? Either way, can you get the relative to handle her?

You party scenario is fine as your DN will only miss the first 30 minutes. Her party scenario is quite frankly ridiculous. No-one will do 400 miles round trip for a party.

She's my DH's brother's ex-wife.

I'd ask his brother to intervene but he's honestly worse than useless, too busy smoking weed in his shed to think about things like his DD's birthday party

If you are in or near Edinburgh can't they go to Blairdrummond?

Oh dear, that's awful OP, sorry

Send a card, send a small gift, say no, not convenient, refuse to discuss any further.

She's a brat. And it's her child missing out.

I live close enough to knowsley to have had an annual pass.
I wouldn't travel more than 20miles to get to it. Its not worth it in all honesty. The variety of animals is really poor. Hope you like looking at deer, gazelle and other very similar looking species.

I was also going to suggest Blairdrummond...

That’s not a birthday party, that’s a birthday outing treat you dont expect other people to go to.

Seriously man she’s far reaching her thinking right into the distance. Just tell her no and you’re happy to come to a little tea party on another day or something

Bloody hell, not a chance I'd be going!

You went to a petting farm, she wants to outdo you by going to safari park.
Just say "That doesn't work for us" or similar.

Go and see the baby polar bear in the highlands? Is she actually asking you to drive to a different country for the party? Bet her hen night was a week abroad!

Couldn’t think of anything worse. Dc stuck in the car for 200 miles then stuck in the car driving around the safari park, then 200 hellish miles back!

Your SIL is INSANE!

She is begging and saying no one else can make it so if we don't go then DN will have no guests there

Of course no one can make it, its a 400 mile round trip!

Is Blairdrummond a drive-through zoo?? I've never been!

Is she actually asking you to drive to a different country for the party?

Yep! I'm used to her weird ways so nothing surprises me anymore